Hello ! 24f here looking for a long term rp 20+ partner !
For my side (oc x cc ) and I double ! (MNI)
- I like to include dark themes and such ! We can discuss limits beforehand of course !
- I write from 2-4 paragraphs and never 2 liners ! I am fairly active and expect my partner to be as well (doesn’t mean i expect you to reply all day everyday , just a reply or two once a day or once every two days )
- I role play on discord and I love ooc chat and plotting 💕
The fandoms I’m into (between brackets is who I’d like to be written as my ocs love interest ) :
- Attack on Titan (mainly looking for Eren ! )
- My hero academia (bakugo , Deku , Dabi , Hawks )
Your daily reminder that you need to eat today and whatever you eat doesn’t make you good or bad. It has no moral implications. Your beautiful body needs it to keep you alive 🩷
You hardly knew Erin Ulmer, far less her boyfriend. Yet after paying him a visit and discovering her death has left him in pieces, you help Ian put himself back together. Well, you try.
An: My first official fic! A bit heavy, but I had the idea swimming in my head for a while XD I finally found out how to open my asks, so notwithstanding my requests are actually open! I just finished my summer courses, so I have plenty of time to work on whatever you send me :) Thanks for reading!
Erin was dead. Not candlelit student memorial, flowers on her headstone dead, but the front doors of Build-it Depot were barred with a police notice. And you had been her friend, if you could call being lab partners for half a semester friends.
There was something glaringly wrong about how the entire school was blubbering and weeping at all the big assemblies, at all the fucking funerals- yet nobody had given a word of condolence for this girl.
But Erin was dead. You couldn’t bring her back, and you couldn’t silence the whispers of ‘whatever happened to that girl?’ that you couldn’t go anywhere without hearing. What you could do was support those close to her. So you looked up her boyfriend’s address in the white pages.
She’d mentioned Ian from time to time: that the two of them had plans this weekend, or we’re going there after school. He seemed nice enough, but you’d never spoken face to face. He had a place of his own on his parents’ property which, upon waiting for him to answer your knocking, you thought was pretty cool.
The door opened, and your first impression of Ian McKinley was that he must've been dug up yesterday: all skinny limbs and hawkish features glowering down at you. Cigarette smoke drifted through the doorway, but the man of the hour didn’t budge. Ian’s voice cracked like a stereo left to rot, “I’m sorry- who are you? Why are you here…?” With a brittle, ‘fuck off’ glare, there wasn't any question as to what he thought about your presence.
“Y/N!” you too eagerly replied. “Erin and I were friends.” You were expecting a warmer welcome than this… Your explanation rang some alarm bells because Ian never caught wind of these so-called friends besides himself. “We had a couple classes together,” you explained. With a limp wave, he stepped out of your way, “Okay…”
Drifting behind you like some housewife out of her mind on vicodin and wine, Ian watched woth puffy, red eyes as you went about that harm prevention checklist in your head: blades, bottles, pills- oh, excluding the pills that he was actually prescribed by a doctor which were gathering dust on the countertop.
Next you’re gonna take his fucking shoelaces so he doesn’t strangle himself… Crumpling down on the couch, Ian stubbed out the shaky remains of his smoke on an empty coke can. “You really didn’t need to do this,” he croaked, but he wanted to say ‘I really wish you didn’t do this.’
You lifted up that half empty UV Orange bottle to see less than half of it was left. It came across more like you were judging him for drinking the fruitiest shit he found in his dad’s liquor cabinet. “I don’t mind,” you mumbled, poorly masking your concern.
If you were upset enough by Erin’s death to visit a guy you’d never met, you could only imagine how this was treating him. Meandering over to Ian, you took a seat by his side and, in an effort to change the subject, you blurted the first thing that came to mind: “How’s work?”
That. That was the final straw. Ian McKinley’s restraint snapped like a toothpick. Taking a deep breath, he tried to restrain himself, “Really? Really, Build-It? You’re gonna bring that up?” Ian pivoted so he could make steely eye contact. “My job, where Erin: my girlfriend, your ‘friend’-“
Died. He was so infuriated with you- with life, that the word couldn’t form in his mouth. Pulse pushing into that red zone where he was sure you were some emissary of evil, he spat vitriol: “How inconsiderate can you be? For fucks sake- I don’t even know you!”
“Okay, work- you wanna talk about work?” Ranting gatling gun fire, Ian shakily berated you, “How, before I quit, my coworkers stared at me like some… charity case- some walking corpse? Oh, what about how I can’t so much look at a nail gun without getting sick?” Ian’s eyes nore cigarette burns in your soul. “Is that what you came here for, Y/N?”
There was nothing you could say. He didn't have to put up with this. Pushing his bones vertical, Ian’s scrawny frame tore off through the house with determination. Grabbing the bottle from the kitchen, he snagged a banister to round the corner, dashing up a sagging staircase. “Hey- I'm sorry! I didn’t-“ You dogged on his heels as he made it clear that, whatever thought you’d gotten into his mind, you couldn’t talk him down from.
Panting, you reached the top of the stairs to see the lower half of Ian ‘F in Gym’ McKinley disappear as he hoisted himself onto the roof by means of a window. You were thankful for the distraction, but come on…? With significantly more effort, you followed suit, huffing, “I didn’t mean to, uh… t’bring that up.”
If you looked past how his so-pale-he’s-nearly-purple skin pounded flat against his cheekbones, and the hollow inlets of his bruised out eyes made him look like a skeleton for the summer breeze to blow through, he would look peaceful in that sunset. “You're staring,” Ian bit, maintaining some of that bitterness as he fiddled with the obnoxious orange label of the bottle.
Settling next to him, you kept your eyes fixed on the dark tree line, cluttered with the dark silhouettes of trucks and cherry pickers setting up for the McKinley tricentennial next weekend. “I didn’t mean to bring that up. I was just…” You contemplated asking him to go with you, but Ian didn’t strike you as a carnival ride and firework guy… “You look good. You’ve been… working out or something?”
“Yeah. Totally. I’ve been hitting the gym.” Sarcasm dripping from his words, he flashed a bitter smile. “I went vegan, actually- really changed my whole outlook on things.”
That previous venom had deserted his words in place of his typical snippy wit and, for a moment, Ian looked like that kid who got called a tryhard in English because he always looked too deep into whatever it was you were reading. That one guy who convinced his girlfriend to touch up his roots in the school bathroom sink because he wanted to see what administration would do about it…
In the moonlight, streaks of brunette showed at the roots of Ian’s sticky riot of black curls as he raked a bone white hand through his hair. “Y’know that Wendy chick? She, uh-“ Unscrewing the cap, he took a pull from the fruity vodka, his face screwing up.
“That night, she came’t the store. Told us somethin’ about ‘death’s design’ or whatever-“ Ian explained the whole thing as if he was so above all of this nonsense. “That there’s some order to everything going on- and that it skipped me, and went to Erin.” He groped futilely for his signature jokey, elitist note. “It’s bullshit. Total bullshit.”
Swirling the liquor that lingered in the bottle, he studied the way the fleeting light passed through the orange liquid. Ian had tested it. You know, the whole death’s design thing. In retrospect, he found the evening poetic: that oblivion between the loving, presyncope embrace of quietly passing into the great beyond, and the threat of spending your last epic moments on earth drenched in cold sweat with your head in a toilet bowl, throwing up half digested pills and frothy, orange liquor.
Suddenly aware of how silent you’d been this entire time, just listening to him, he rambled, “I’m sorry. I just…” Sensing all that death talk made you uncomfortable, he passed you the bottle with a slur, “I haven’t talked to anybody since it happened. I mean, really talked to anybody.”
The sun had fully set, leaving the sole light sources as the moon and a gaggle of bumbling fireflies in the air. It was cooler out- not cool enough to necesítate all those layers of black fabric that hung off Ian’s shoulders to mask the weight he lost, but he scooted closer to you on the roof under that rationale.
“Means a lot t’me that you came out here...” Tired eyes falling shut, Ian leaned his head against your shoulder with a sigh. The bone of his cheek dug into your sleeve. “I’m, uh…” Putting a comforting hand on the sharp bone, you distanced yourself from him. “I’m happy I could help.”
You’d come here to console him, not to fill the space Erin left. Because nobody could. That gaping hole in Ian McKinley’s soul was still bleeding, and as much as it pained, you knew getting romantically involved would only rip it open further.
With an empathetic simper, you squeezed his shoulder twice. “It's getting late. Wanna head inside?” Shadows on Ian’s face carved out in the moonlight, he weakly conceded, eyes still hopelessly trained on you. You smiled. “I’ll call you when I get home.”
my main problem with s4 is that it's rushed. like. it starts with a SIX YEARS timeskip and to me it's a huge amount of time and like. they don't elaborate on it, it's just yeah here are the same characters that you love but they aren't the ones that you're used to because to them it's been six years and they changed and their relationship changed and basically everything changed but instead of showing it properly they just showed us the result. like okay you say that diego and lila are now not very satisfied with their lives, but can you show how they ended up in this situation. how diego got a job he didn't like, how lila was gradually realizing that doing only mother things isn't for her and she wants some other entertainment, how she started secretly going to the keepers meetings. how they live with their kids as a family and become more and more tired. same goes for everyone else, like why did ray leave allison, how did five decide to join the cia (and if they've shown for example that he felt lost in the reset universe and didn't know what to do because now he can't do things he's good at, and that's how he started thinking about cia because it was at least a bit similae to what he had done before, then it would even make sense), how klaus changed, how ben ended up doing that crypto shit, how luther chose his job, something about viktor's bar and him not knowing how to build proper romantic relationship etc etc, there were so many things they could've told us about and that would make that change in characters' personalities seem more natural. the same goes for the five and lila timeline metro arc, i still think that the romantic part was absolutely awful and unnecessary but instead they could've given us more than just saying like "yeah it's been seven years and now we're extremely attached to each other". maybe for them it was seven years, for me it was 20 minutes of the episode and it wasn't enough time for me to get attached and to see their relationship as something understandable. so to me it's just mischaracterization which, i think, could've been avoided if they just showed us more of the characters' lives and interactions. and i understand that maybe there were budget problems or anything else and the season was already short and they tried to show everything while being limited in timing but i still have the right to complain and express opinion and my opinion is that it was just bad
The six year timeskip is especially frustrating because this used to be the flashback show!!! Flashbacks and memory were a key part of the storytelling from the beginning!!
Season 2 was showing flashbacks of the characters during these (much shorter) timeskips!
Then, in s4, we had literally changed!! Its been six years, the universe reset, Reggie runs the city, they're all without their powers, they've all had personality flips, and also extremely organized, secret apocalypse death cult has formed across the country. And we see that none of the development. There's no interesting story reason for not showing how everything's evolved. They just don't.
It also just makes it's so obvious that one of the main reason they did that large of a timeskip is so they could age up Five for that romance.
Forever angry and salty about the fact that there is so much more that could be done with the umbrella academy and it’s literally cancelled after that horrendous finale of a show . Like guys we could’ve had 10 more seasons I just wish the writers got more creative with the premises and gave us some more fun storylines even just interactions , angst and development for the characters like it could’ve been so fun and the main reason the show was so successful for the first two seasons was all thanks to the casting and the characters so like ? Wtf was season 4 , literally ruined something that could’ve been even more great + I really wanted to see that movie :’) (HEARTBROKeN)
No but actually welcome to derry is so genius. Unlike the movies, we’re getting to go thru an arc with a group of characters that will not survive in the end due to demise of living in derry when it is feeding.
It wasn’t often in the movies where you have to actually follow along with a few characters and then they meet their end, because most of the important characters… lived in the end.
And it’s going to be so different from that in this series. As sad as it is though, I love that we’re getting to see this perspective so much.
It really just shows how horrible it was during the past cycles before the loser club’s time. And we actually get to see how deaths due to Pennywise affect not just one person, but multiple people.
The fact we get to experience many kids who dealt with it and ultimately lost (and will see over and over again through further seasons) is such a violent switch in the it franchise.
Umbrella Academy S1E10 making us Feel Something when Klaus manifested Ben and Ben took out the Commission goons and when the White Violin had Luther, Diego, Five and Klaus in the light tentacle things and then the camera angle moves to reveal Alisson with a gun. Completely forgot about that. It made us choke up a little.
god i fucking hate allison's character arc (or lack thereof) in tua.
(tw for discussion of her sexually assaulting luther in s3)
in s1, sure, she's kind of an asshole, but they all are. she's shitty and she's fucked up, and that's the root of the show. they're all fucked up. allison in s1 kind of reminds me of a high school mean girl who's just learned that actions have consequences but hasn't actually unpacked her behaviour. but she can grow from that. once she internalizes the issues with her behaviour, she'll improve.
and she does improve. in s2 she's actually a good sibling, and has honestly grown more as a person than any of the others. she's genuinely a good wife, proving that she's grown and fixed her behaviour. she's still a badass, she's just a better person. there are times when she takes it too far and maybe abuses her powers, but it's understandable. she's not rumouring her siblings or her husband. she's rumouring racists, and that's fine. yeah, her powers are a slippery slope for her, but she doesn't really abuse them in s2. she doesn't make the same mistakes. she's getting revenge on racists, and that's completely justified. she never takes it further than rumouring people who deserve it, and many of her rumours are in self-defense.
but s3? whoo boy. she's completely allowed to be pissed about losing claire, but she goes way past that. while her revenge in s2 made sense and was justified, most of it in s3 isn't. i understand rumouring sloane because she's desperate, and i even understand most of her anger at viktor. as much as i love him, he does kind of need to be called out. most of the shit she says is in the realm of a hargreeves sibling fight. the comment about the basement isn't, but the rest of it i can excuse. i can even understand her allying with reginald. it's stupid, yes, but she's desperate for her daughter and he's using that. she doesn't know his true plan, and her desperation makes her not question it. her fighting racists with diego is a good continuation of her arc in s2, and i think it would've been cool to see some more vigilante shit from her. allison is allowed to be pissed. she's allowed to lose it. but unlike her siblings, it's like all her character growth was forgotten. everyone else grows and learns from their mistakes. as for allison? she sexually assaults luther. it's established that rumours take away free will, so when she rumours him, she's forcing him to kiss her. it's clear she would've gone even further if she hadn't gotten scared.
AND THEN IT'S NEVER DEALT WITH AGAIN.
allison apologizes to viktor, but never apologizes to luther for sexually assaulting him. i get that there's no good way to make a character likeable again after that, but then why include it? why not replace it with a conversation where she's mad that he doesn't love her like that anymore, but doesn't assault him? why not have her have a one night stand to show she's desperate for connection? she regretted manipulating people with rumours even back in s1, so why the hell is she doing this now? there's no way to redeem her when it's been established that she knows it's wrong and does it anyway. she understands consent.
also, her still being in love with luther is shitty for her character arc. she was happily married and in love with ray a week ago. s3 pretty much forgets him, even though she'd be grieving him just as much as claire. it was clear in s2 she didn't have feelings for luther anymore. even if she's just using luther, it's shitty for her to essentially forget about ray that quickly, especially considering her history with luther. it makes it seem like it was always him for her, which cheapens her relationship with ray and undoes so much character development. being with ray proved that she didn't need rumours to be loved. the shit with luther indicates that she does.
and then in s4, i don't know what the fuck is going on with her character. she doesn't atone for her actions, the hargreeves just accept her back in like nothing happened. sure, she's their sister, but they never even bring up the wrong she's done. considering it was the last season, i expected them to discuss it, but nope! it's all loose ends! she faces no consequences for her powers, feels no guilt about using them, and also hasn't really improved as a mother. it seems like she was just handed everything but never faced any consequences. sure, ray's gone, but that doesn't seem to affect her even though SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM. and what did she do that made him leave? they were together for a year in the sixties, what went sour? the fact that he left makes it feel like she's exactly where she was in s1, only now she's done even worse shit.
allison had so much fucking potential. i adore her in s2, and she could've had a fantastic revenge arc without undoing her character development. she could've become a vigilante, which would've satisfied her getting revenge while also allowing her to continue to grow, just with a little more edge than before. she could've gone too far in protecting her siblings, which could lead to them having to assure her that they can protect themselves, a direct link to the way she couldn't protect claire. she could've built her own reality with rumours, which her comic abilities would make possible since she can speak things into existence, and that could've been the apocalypse, which would also put viktor in the reversed role of trying to stop it and would lead to the two understanding each other better. but no. instead she made basically no good impact in s3, barely made any bad impact to the plot, and then did very little in s4. lila, who isn't even part of the core cast from s1 that we've been following, had more impact.
what happened to my girl? what did they do to you?
you're laughing. The umbrella academy's final season destroyed every character's personal growth and semi-healed traumas, left huge plot-holes, completely abandoned some of it's most beloved side characters that were crucial in previous seasons and you're laugh-oh. You're crying. My bad. Go ahead. Let it out. Understandable.
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