LivesInABox

Low-key, Bibliophile, Unicorn, Fluent in English, Profanity, Sarcasm, and Bullshit

[nudityandnerdery]

[non-suspicious-black-van]

That's so sad, Alexa, play Another One Bites the Dust by Queen

[nudityandnerdery]

Another One Bites the Buzz

[headspace-hotel]

You know what's messed up? Sometimes there are species that look completely identical and are indistinguishable to the point that they've always been considered the same species, and then we analyze the DNA and realize that their genetics are totally different and the gene pools have been completely separate for like, 10 million years.

[nudityandnerdery]

[carby]

I'm cool with having an iPhone most of the time until I remember that these emoji 🗣️📢 are fucking facing each other. Yeah lemme just yell directly into the sending end of ths fucking megaphone real quick. Stupidass country

[carby]

I meant company but auto complete made it about everyone

[carby]

Android users point and laugh. Get it out of your systems.

[carby]

mkay you guys can stop now it's not that funny 🫥

[ladybender]

[countess-of-edessa]

i think we should stop calling them baby names so people remember they’re not just naming a baby but also a future twenty seven year old with a resume

[starry-night-on-the-impala]

that's why bella called her kid resume right away

[writing-prompt-s]

In a deal with a fae, you must give up something you hold dear. Whether it be your name, your first born, or something else, it must be held dear. You, gave up your addiction. It worked.

[thelovingend-deactivated2025073]

[bluejay-in-flight]

Just had to add this hilarious interaction i stumbled upon in the comments 😭🤣

[death-rebirth-senshi]

[eleilinnrallin]

This is a reminder for those who handmake Christmas presents that now is not too early to start. It may in fact be a good time to start if you have a lot to make/your craft takes a long time. You should maybe start it now, whether that's brainstorming or actually doing the crafts!

[newtsoftheworldunite]

Translating this into tumblr's preferred public service announcement format for this kind of alert:

[enki2]

[maybeasunflower]

[ryderdire]

I fucking love repetitive lines that change meaning over a piece of writing yes slay

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

at times when the world's wretchedness threatens to overwhelm, i remind myself firmly that despite all else, it is within my power to go to the chinese grocery store frozen section and buy an utterly enormous bag of dumplings. and that helps

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

there are several ways to cook frozen dumplings but i will direct you on the best way:

heat small amount of oil in pot on med-high heat. add dumplings, cook 2 min until bottoms are golden crispy

add half-inch of water. cover pot, cook 7 min

drain water and cook 2 min until bottoms are again crispy

CONSUME

in the darkest of times happiness comes in moments of joy we claw out of the jaws of the mighty. and sometimes that means dumplings

[cruel-hiraeth]

call him bubonic the way he plagues me

[mintmatcha]

blorbonic plague

[wizardarchetypes]

The production value here is off the charts but this is also literally just what it feels like to play Uno.

legendaryjay_ on TikTok

[silvertherogue715]

The production value really is off the fucking charts. What the fuck.

[pandavalkyrie]

Talking to my baby makes me feel like a video game tutorial. "You can manipulate objects in your environment by using the HAND function. Go ahead and try it now."

[vonnegutism]

every sunday i kill myself but it’s fine

[only-cat-memes]