Manipulating Men for Money
Many of you who have reached out to me on this blog have commented on how “sweet” I am, which always makes me laugh, because really I’m quite a sociopath. There are only a handful of people on this planet I care about; everyone else I have no problem (and sometimes even enjoy) fucking with or exploiting for my own personal gain. Today I want to cover two strategies I use to get regular men (not sugar daddies) to give me money, summarized by the following two mantras: 1. Trinkets are tools, and 2. Play poor.
I’ve seen posts on Tumblr circulate the notion to never let a man think you depend on him financially because he will take advantage of your vulnerability. This is great advice if you really are in broke city, but if you’re a little flush, it is actually advantageous to hide the fact you are financially comfortable. I am relatively financially stable and I always look expensive, but I make sure everyone around me believes that I’m actually really fucking poor even when I’m not. Men especially like to feel needed, and helping out a “damsel in distress” boosts their egos. Use this to your advantage.
Now, I don’t make myself a charity case because any negativity or pessimism is going to turn off the person I’m talking to. Instead, I always find a way to mention I don’t have health insurance. This is such a genius way of manipulating men that even when I do get health insurance, which will probably be very soon, I’m still going to lie and make sure every man I date thinks I don’t. I subtly mention this very early when I’m getting to know someone, and find ways to bring it up throughout our relationship. That way, later on when I use this card to finesse money out of a man, he has no inkling of suspicion that I’m lying. For example, when the man I met this weekend was telling me about a gruesome back surgery he had a few years ago, I strategically responded by saying, “Wow! That sounds brutal. I hope I never have to get a surgery like that. I don’t have health insurance; I don’t know what I’d do if that happened to me.” I’ll bring this up a couple more times to further solidify in his mind the fact that I unquestionably do not have health insurance. If later down the road I need to spontaneously and rather quickly ask him for a large amount of money for a doctor’s visit, he won’t have any doubts that I’m lying. Lately, I’ve been pretty annoyed with Alan (who I introduced in this post). He hasn’t been texting me as much, and did not follow up with me about paying for my hair even though he had offered to do so a while ago (which is fine, I got Miami guy to pay for it). He only sent me money once in the month of July, and I was worried that I would no longer be consistently receiving money from him unless I did something soon to re-establish the financial aspect of our unspoken arrangement. As a remedy, I used the dentist appointment I had yesterday to spring into action.
This is where the mantra “trinkets are tools” comes in. See, a lot of these men will at some point give you a really bad gift. It’s a trinket; something trivial and random because they’re trying to be thoughtful. For example, when Ralph went to the Super Bowl this year, he brought me back a red and gold Super Bowl memorability t-shirt. I made the mistake of throwing it away when we broke up, thinking we’d never get back together. BUT I should have kept it because that’s exactly the kind of random, ugly gift that I’m talking about here.
Before I left for Florida, Alan got me a pair of socks that he thought were cute and made him think of me, because they are patterned with comic book characters fighting each other (which correlates to my love of comic books and kickboxing). I strategically wore those socks to my dentist appointment yesterday so I could take this “silly” photo and send it to Alan, captioned: At the dentist, thinking of you, lol!
How did Alan respond? He wrote back, “Jajajaja didn’t think u were gonna wear them 😘 ”. Exactly. My. Point. This is why the trinket is so useful! With one photo, I have introduced the fact that I’m at the dentist and I have made Alan feel special and valued. When I left the dentist, I texted Alan that I have a cavity that is going to cost $235 to fix (This is a lie!) and I asked him if he could help me out. Because of the photo I had just sent him, it didn’t seem random or awkward at all for me to be bringing it up. I could have asked for an easy 200 bucks, but I always ask for an amount that doesn’t seem “even.” Why? Because men are likely to round numbers up, so I end up with more money while preserving the impression that I’m not asking for a lot. Alan ended up wiring me $300 without any hesitation.
I do this with virtually every medical expense and I fabricate expenses like this all the time. It pays to be poor—if men think you can’t afford health care, they will immediately jump up to take care of you. So remember ladies, don’t look down on that cheap little trinket that he bought you; it might end up being worth hundreds of dollars.
Genius! I didn’t realize I do some of this without even thinking. I love the way your mind works!! So glad there are other sociopaths like me 😂😇🙃
Amazing advice!
