[marqueliott]

[neurotiddies]

RB IF YOU AGREE

[stiksandthrones]

[prince-of-moths]

[Image ID: the top photo is a pink blue and purple background with a statue head and a photoshopped in hand with a knife. The text is white reads: this blog supports using the word “rad” but does not support terfs. The second image is of a drawing of a skateboarding dinosaur wearing a hat, sunglasses, and shorts. He is on a blue background with a purple triangle and palm trees in the distance. The text reads: there is nothing radical about trans exclusion. End ID]

[lhazaar]

why do i have to format emails like i’m writing a letter to my fucking husband on the frontlines of the long war. my dearest gregory. it has been too long since i’ve held in my embrace. o, that these travails shall lead us to one another again. my sincerest, fondest thoughts go with you in this, your hour of need. i have attached the requested documents in .pdf format. thanks!

[30-minute-memes]

Hangman

[therealsongbirddiamondback]

I…don’t…get…it….

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

“Thnks fr th mmrs” is a fall out boy song. Fall out boy are known for their absurd song titles, usually absurd in length, and in this case the band cut all the vowels out to shorten it.

[commodorecliche]

[sail-away-sweet-sister]

Christmas 2020

[terezis]

pitch: taako and lup making up candlenights traditions from their homeworld to fuck with angus and kravitz

secondary pitch: angus and kravitz, upon realizing that they are being fucked with, making up candlenights traditions from faerun to fuck with taako and lup

tertiary pitch: neither party will admit that they’re a bunch of filthy liars so their game of holiday chicken just keeps escalating until barry comes home from the astral plane and finds the house in festive, festive shambles

[terezis]

- taako and lup make fruitcake and insist that it’s an old recipe of their auntie’s (it’s not) that they make every year (they don’t) because it tastes just like home (it tastes just like feet); angus and kravitz are guilted into eating like three slices (each)

- in retaliation angus requests taako help him cook up a milk chicken… just like grandpa used to make. taako’s like “oh okay that doesn’t sound so bad” until angus pulls out the recipe

- lup sets no less than five candlenights’ bushes aflame with “cleansing fire” to give them a “fresh start for the new year.” kravitz’s cloak gets caught in the crossfire twice. sorry, bud, those singe marks are never coming out :(

- angus gets the twins to play dreidel with him with both gelt and real gold, but he keeps “remembering” new rules that conveniently prevent them from winning. the stomachache he gets from eating all that chocolate is well worth the look on taako’s face

- the twins deck the halls with boughs of… you don’t want to know

- several sacrifices are made to the star king

- lup fills every pair of shoes in the house with birdseed, and then puts them outside so the crows will bring them gifts

- (crows are the santa claus of birds, she explains)

- kravitz is actually kind of into this one, except that now the birds won’t stop pecking at his feet :(

- elf on the shelf, but it’s taako in places where taako should not be

[terezis]

- kravitz visits taako as the ghost of candlenights’ future whenever taako, like, eats the leftovers kravitz was saving for lunch

[tlirsgender]

Weird peeve time. Calling lab grown gemstones "fake" is stupid because it's the same shit just not formed naturally. An artificially grown diamond is the same shit as a natural diamond it is the exact same material bro it's all fuckign carbon

[tlirsgender]

It's carbon it's pretty and it didn't involve slave labor what's not to love??? Hi I'm having geology opinions tonight apparently. And I'm right

[tlirsgender]

There is so much bullshit in the diamonds industry to be mad about tbh. It also ties into the bullshit of the wedding industry as a whole but we don't have the time to unpack all that

[val-ritz]

not even going to lie, the day i learned i could get like 15 lab grown rubies the size of dimes for $20 is the day i spent $20 on rubies, and i have never once said to myself "man, i wish this cost $1,600 and the lives of eight children to produce"

[grumpyjesterr]

on another note, watched The Mummy (1999) the other day and I couldn’t help  feel like the O’Connells and the Addams (Addams Family Values (1993) would get on really well ya know? The O’Connells are basically the pastel adventure version of the Addams, surely they would just be vibin’ over tea and crumpets in an extremely haunted mansion having a ball of a time

[grumpyjesterr]

Morticia: “So what is it you do for a living my dear?”

Evelyn: “We dig up dead people who often have monstrous curses placed on them!”

Morticia: “fascinating”

[grumpyjesterr]

Gomez: *leaping out from behind a pillar which is encrusted with ominous looking runes* en garde!

Rick: *grabs sword from equally ominous looking wall full of weapons one of which seems to be glowing* fantastic I was getting a bit rusty

Gomez: *nearly in tears* oh he’s screaming nonsensically, what spirit! what reslove!

[grumpyjesterr]

*Rick and Gomez, still frantically sword fighting*

Rick: Have I mentioned how wonderful my wife is yet, I really feel like I haven’t really expanded enough on how wonderful she is

Gomez: do go on, I would be delighted to hear about how wonderful your wife is, I strongly encourge all men to extoll the virtues of their wives with rapturous praise, however I should perhaps mention my wife is in fact better

*sword fighting intensifies as both men rapturously extoll the virtues of their wives*

[romcommunist]

“id send you this post but u are dead to me” is such a strange feeling. im retreating to the woods

[anguam]

When you stumble across a meme that perfectly fits the niche of someone you no longer talk to…. like we have parted ways for good reasons but i’m still left with the knowledge that this would make you laugh. What do i do with that

[leeeeeeeeeegooooooooolaaaaaaaaas]

you’re welcome

[insomniac-arrest]

sometimes I see shiny things like this 

or this

and instead of admiring them the ghosts of my protestant ancestors possess me and I think shit like ‘well that’s just a little too much’

my ancestor Pain Wilhelmina Smith wacks a stick around my brain like ‘you like that Catholic shit? you gonna pay indulgences for that, huh? punk? get yee to a single room log cabin and PRAY’

anyway, my room is absolutely bare and buying a piece of clothing for over 20 dollars pains me

[insomniac-arrest]

actually, I’m sorry to admit this, but I actually mis-remembered the name of the ancestor I was thinking of

her name was Fear

[insomniac-arrest]

if you’re wondering, my puritan forebears actually had 5 children

please note Wrestling, Fear, and Love Brewster. And Jonathon.

[insomniac-arrest]

this is so funny, thank you

[chortling-dingo]

I’m more interested in Wrestling’s wife, Erula, who is apparently still alive.

[brainstatic]

I want a Santa movie where he’s actually Saint Nicholaos of Myra. Three kids run away from home and find a portal to the Council Of Nicaea in 325 AD. Then the kids watch him debate the promulgation of canon law. In the end they return home and tell their parents that presents aren’t important so long as Pentecost is counted 50 days after Easter on the Roman solar calendar and not the Jewish lunar calendar.

[brainstatic]

And the kids tell their parents the whole story and the dad is like “those kids and their imaginations.” But then he sees a piece of paper in the dog’s mouth and goes “whatcha got there boy? Is that…orders from the Holy See that the schismatic bishop Meletius is to remain in Lycopolis and keep his episcopal title but the ecclesiastics ordained by him must again receive the laying of hands? But…how?” And then he gazes off to the sky and you hear a light jingling of bells and then a voice over goes “Ho ho ho! The baptisms performed by the Paulian heretics are invalid! Merry Christmas!”

[theradioghost]

in the words of the great Elizabethan wordsmith William Shakespeare, in Hamlet Act IV Scene V, “When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions.” or, in the words of the great Twitter wordsmith @Horse_ebooks,

[ritavonbees]

this is 1947 Cincinnati Enquirer erasure

[marisatomay]

please do not forget your smash mouth

[mtndewbajablast]

“what makes nyc different is its combination of a bunch of different cultures” yeah not unlike any other big city use your head man

[mtndewbajablast]

[slamreid]

[clownboybebop]

me: to really understand Frankenstein, we have to take into account that Mary Shelley was surrounded by creative men who really didn’t take her seriously, so in addition to sci-fi horror, it can also be read as an exploration of female creative frustration and-

The burglar that broke into my house: bodily autonomy?

me: exactly. Now,

[gothdolphin-deactivated20190409]

me: how do churches deal with gluten at communion

first response on a catholic forum:

[hvlthgxth-deactivated20241124]

The Roman Catholic church is the only Christian faith with any mettle.

[hvlthgxth-deactivated20241124]

It’s not bread. It’s Jesus, dipshit. Next question.

[regrettablyjake]

It’s jesus, but also jesus’ body activates Celiac’s