this is one of my all time favourite moray eel videos
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@lobster-mobster-aq
this is one of my all time favourite moray eel videos
Bridesmaid to a waiter: What a beautiful wedding
Waiter, about to reveal that the poor groomâs bride is a whore: Oh you havenât heard?
the number of people making comments on this post about how thereâs nothing wrong with being a whore is far too high like iâm not trying to shame people who are promiscuous or sex workers this is a fucking reference to a song and if you dont understand the reference dont reblog with some idiotic trying too hard to be progressive shit its literally a joke about a lyric from a song it was never, and never will be, that fucking deep. if you dont get the reference literally just shut up and dont reblog this post oh my god
by fall out boy
I dont know whatâs funnier the people getting offended because they donât get the panic reference or the people getting offended because they donât get the fall out boy joke
I Got Trapped In Another World With A Weird Cheat Skill But I Never Actually Figured Out How To Make It Do Anything Useful So I Just Got Good At Regular Magic Instead
I Got A Powerful Cheat Skill But I Never Played RPGs In My Previous Life So I Can't Make Heads Or Tails Of This World's Menu System I'm Gonna Be A Sword Guy If That's Cool
Reborn In Another World With A Poison Resistance Stat Above The National Median!
Sometimes you cautiously crack open the door for a second and watch alien conspiracy theorists talk and theyâre like âthis ancient drawing is a diagram of DNAâ and then they show the drawing and itâs of two snakes fucking
Thereâs drawings all over the world of snakes doing a fuck because fertility symbolism and whatnot and a spiral makes for a good design but alien obsessed grandpas who have never seen snakes having sex before in their lives will point very hard at the snake sex and say itâs a double helix or whatever it must be aliens.
No my friend. You just need to get out more. Maybe youâll see some snakes in the wild making some sweet twisty snake love and get some perspective on the world.
Twisty twisty it is not a DNA strand
brb me and the guys playing clash of clans on one of these bad boys
certified door post
Sometimes on the internet people will throw an abbreviation at you as if youâre supposed to know what it means and youâll try to find out what it means but no matter what you do on any search engine all that comes up is some kind of dental supplies logistics company in Malaysia or something
At this point I think the only remedy to the plague of punchy one-word film titles is to go full 1960s science fiction novella. Just hit audiences with long-winded inscrutable bullshit like "Repent, Harlequin!" Said the Ticktockman and see what happens when they try to order tickets.
I have concerns that this will flip into Japanese light-novels-turned-anime-style titles like "No Matter How I Look at It, It's You Guys' Fault I'm Not Popular!"
Light novel titles are the exact opposite of what I'm talking about â they're consciously engineered to be maximally scrutable. Indeed, some have argued that they're too scrutable!
Something something, reinventing Homestuck something.
I'm beginning to suspect that people on this site cannot distinguish between an inscrutable title and a comically-lengthy-but-readily-scrutable one because they've never scruted anything in their lives.
Doug Jones and Danny DeVito in a buddy comedy about a couple of elderly former henchmen unwillingly dragged out of retirement for one last caper. There's a running gag where they claim to be the original duo that the "one of them is short and fat and the other is tall and thin" trope is based on.
Playing against the trope's conventions (but to the actors' respective strengths), DeVito's character is the talkative one while Jones' character hardly says a word. The former argues that popular media usually has it the other way 'round due to prejudice against short people.
i think friendslop as a term is soooo fucking funny. ironically mildly derogatory term for something that's only good because you are just doing it to hang out with your friends. im not saying it's a misnomer or anything in fact i think we need to broaden the concept to apply to a lot of non video game stuff retroactively. bowling is highkey friendslop
other notable examples of friendslop:
bar trivia
pontoon boats
ouija boards
sorry, prev, your tags are too true to be silenced
every day i walk into work and my manager says âhere is the rule you must enforceâ and i go âgot it bossmanâ and i spend a couple days enforcing the rule and then my manager comes up to me and says âwhy are you enforcing the rule? we changed the rule yesterday and didnât tell youâ and i go âok bossman new rule it isâ and then a customer comes in asking to break the new rule and i say âsorry you canât itâs the ruleâ and they say âbut you donât understand the rule doesnât apply to meâ and then my manager comes out and says âtheyâre right the rule doesnât apply to themâ and i ask why and my manager says âit just doesnât.â and then the next day we get rid of the rule entirely and no one remembered it existed in the first place.
anyway this sounds like a metaphor for neurodivergence or something but itâs not this is just my fucking life
Demons and monsters that torture people because they feed on human suffering are so dumb. People are suffering everywhere my guy go literally any place and take a deep whiff.
Monster that feeds on suffering becomes a professional caretaker for people with chronic pain and terminal illnesses. They can't change the fact that these people are suffering, but they help a bit and in the meantime they're fat and happy off that Sweet Sweet ambient pain in the air.
Two towns over there's a demon lord trying to get their cult to abduct people for torture, but they keep getting stopped by heroes and the like, so they're barely scraping by. Meanwhile Belogarth the Registered PCA is chowing down on back pain, medication side effects and looming mortality for eight hours a day and has become the most powerful demon on earth without realizing it.
"But don't their clients feel weird knowing that they're feeding off their suffering?" No they think it's hilarious and they're real shits about it.
Finally a medical professional who believes that they are in pain. Because the fucker is actively chowing down on your agony. Not only am I going to get treated by them I'm going to invite all of my chronically ill friends to come as well.
Turns out if you treat the pain then the humans will bring you more humans who are suffering. It's like a restaurant where the waiter is so impressed by your ability to eat food they're giving you more on the house
They say things like "well, it's a real feast day for Belogarth today!" and "if my meds are held up at customs again I'm gonna put Belogarth in a food coma" and Belogarth is the one feeling weird about it
having lunch and someone's watching cnc videoes loud as fuck style so i'm just here chewing my food while there's sounds of water jetting and steel screeching in the back
Me reading "CNC": Consensual non-consent
Me reading "water jetting and steel screeching": oh so it's really niche consensual non-consent
i recently found out what the * * * that sometimes separates parts of a text is called and youre never gonna fucking believe it
