novelty shopping experiences ranked by how much they fry dean’s brain like an egg:
pet store - incredibly soothing, he likes to watch the fish and birds. 0/10 (unless you take him through the rodent aisle, then it’s 2/10)
farmers market - only a mess if a hot guy hits on cas. 2/10
lush - very enticed, feels emasculated by said enticement. says he “has a sensitive nose” to avoid going in. 4/10
sex toys - “cas what if they figure out we’re *points at cas, points at himself, whispers* ᵍᵃʸ” 5.8/10
trader joe’s - information overload, suddenly acutely aware of having spent his whole life on the bottom of the class pyramid, he almost throws at least one punch while there and almost cries in the car when cas hands him the bag of gummy tummy penguins. 6/10
hot topic - he’s fine until he sees a reprint of one of his vintage band tees. it makes him confront capitalism and his own age simultaneously while crushcrushcrush plays over the speakers. 7/10
glossier pop up shop - stumbled upon one with charlie back when glossier was new and gave out mad samples and without hesitating a clerk handed him samples. he had a Dean.exe Has Stopped Working moment while trying to parse why the clerk thought he wanted samples (he did). 9/10
wedding dresses - he goes with eileen for her perfunctory “i KNEW i didn’t want a dress why did i even come here” trip, it makes him think about a) cas in a wedding dress and b) himself in a wedding dress. BONK 12/10
