chlorine

you can’t win, the game is rigged

[pup-purgatory]

[no-celebration]

Niagara Falls

[desk-drawerr]

He eat a nemon

[paper-wounds]

[bold-baddie]

[adventures-in-poor-planning]

prayer to whichever dead catholic person is most appropriate: may I not have to run a whole week of surprise camps on crutches. in a knee brace.

[adventures-in-poor-planning]

Im agnostic raised liberal protestant, but absolutely the catholics got saints right. Sometimes your problem is so fucking specific you need Some Guy. If you're listening, Guy of Workers Who Have Strain Injuries,

[adventures-in-poor-planning]

No fucking WAY, there's actually a knee injury Guy? Catholicism accidentally reinventing the medical specialty system......

[youremysunshine8]

I know you're wondering: are there slutty pictures of him revealing his knees?

Saint Roch, by Francesco Ribalta, c. 1625, Museo de Bellas Artes, Valencia

[image id: st. Roch staring soulfully and hiking up his robe to show that his thigh has a bubo on it, also sluttily revealing his knees]

[running-with-toast]

what the dog doin

[tedlyanderson]

@apocrypals

[apocrypals]

The dog is there to lick his inflamed lymph nodes

Apocrypals: 63: Wist Not To Whom Ne Whither (The Lives of St. Roche and St. Guinefort)

You know who doesn't come off very well in Bible, Theophiloi? Dogs. This week, though, our canine pals get a little bit of redemption as we

[thoughtkick]

“Have some fire. Be unstoppable. Be a force of nature. Be better than anyone here, and don’t give a damn what anyone thinks. You’re on your own. Be on your own.”

— Dr. Cristina Yang | Grey’s Anatomy

[paper-wounds]

via

[the-big-mood]

[vgwater]

Animal Crossing City Folk (2008) / Pond

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[comment-tube]

[rongzhi]

Problem solving

English added by me :)

[tempered-grace]

very funny to me that calories is legit just a measure of energy. you can convert it to joules. (4186 joules in one kcal). really drives home the absurdity of diet culture.

[dollgirllandsknecht]

She has over 4 megajoules of energy.

and this little lady is only 4 Calories

[nerdy-as-heck]

I saw this and felt like it should be shared here too

[rubaedo]

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grimes

[hateusandseeifwemind]

[depsidase]

[ardri-na-bpiteog]

You also purchase CDs once and as long as nothing happens to them you get to keep them forever.

[taykoutmccleod]

and if you have a computer with a disc drive, you can move the content of those CDs onto it and then burn it onto future CDs. it doesn't even have to be the same album. you can make a playlist with physical media. you just have access to all of it, at your whim, with no unskippable ads being shoved in your ears. it's really nice!