Mike Driver
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@lorddiamondpowder
you gotta be so careful
imagine if people actually took romantic consent seriously. wouldn't it be fucking awesome. i know they never will, but just. take a moment and imagine it with me
no more "just give them a chance, maybe you'll end up liking them!", no more "if you're going to reject someone, at least apologize to them!", no more shaming people for breaking up/divorcing, no more demonizing people for rejecting other peoples' romantic advances, no more shoving romance in romance repulsed peoples' face on purpose to provoke us, no more "i know we agreed to just be friends with benefits, but i thought you were going to fall in love with me eventually!", no more "i can fix them" when the only thing "wrong" with them is that they want to fuck without dating.
wouldn't it be nice?
A friend I used to hang out with every week once confessed his feelings for me, which I didn't reciprocate. I wanted to stay friends, didn't see why we couldn't, we had been friends the whole time without any romance, why did that have to change? but he decided to stop hanging out with me.
I was heartbroken and felt tossed aside. I didn't understand why our friendship wasn't worth anything to him if he couldn't have me romantically or sexually. I felt betrayed and dehumanised, like I didn't matter to him as a person but only as a romantic prospect.
When I told other friends about it, to my surprise they all sided with him. "He is heartbroken, it's hard to get rejected" even my THERAPIST said this. It's not like I didn't empathize with him, but wasn't I rejected too? No one else could see that but me, they placed me as some sort of villain that had power over him in that situation, when all I did was set a boundary between friendship and romance. All I did was not consent to the terms he wanted for our relationship, I rejected them, my terms were different and he rejected those.
I've had my heart broken by friends over and over and it hurt the same, if not more, than any romantic heartbreak. Why is friendship undervalued next to romantic feelings?
To be honest, to this day I'm still pissed that no one sided with me on this. There's so much unraveling that needs to get done around how we view different relationships in our lives, and I feel like most people can't even scratch the surface when it comes to this questioning.
i desperately need people to stop avoiding what this post is actually about. stop derailing and trying to make it be about something else instead.
THIS POST IS ABOUT ROMANTIC CONSENT.
even if the person in question didn't want to fuck them, even if he just wanted a wholesome, purely romantic, nothing sexual at all relationship, it would STILL be fucked up to BLAME someone for rejecting that.
similarly, if someone really wanted to just fuck, but they were honest and clear about that, and handled rejection gracefully, there would be literally no issue with that.
when will you people understand what i thought i made incredibly fucking clear in the original post. the problem is not, and never was, the presence of potential sexual attraction. the problem is, and always has been, ignoring ROMANTIC CONSENT.
#people think that relationships are made of two parts#one part being ~Love~ (when it is Real it is perfect and pure and incapable of harm)#and Lust (dangerous and only ever potentially safe when tamed by a high amount of Real Love)#and thus they can only imagine that harm done in or relating to a relationship#is because of a lack of Real (romantic) Love + the presence of Lust#also i say relationship instead of just romantic relationship#because i dont think allo society is actually that good at distinguishing between types of relationships#they don't really see friendships between people who could potentially date as its own form of relationship#as much as a liminal space waiting room between being strangers and being romantic#anyways it's so fucking annoying how insistently people think that romance is only harmful because either#the person doesn't Really Love You or they ONLY want to fuck you (inherently a shallow thing to want as well!)#amatonormativity has such a grip people genuinely struggle to imagine that genuine feelings of romantic love#can be anything other than inherently good and beneficial#op you are NOT overreacting people just don't fucking understand what it's like being aroallo#and they don't give us nearly as much grace as we deserve when we get frustrated with this shit
keeping @genderkoolaid's tags because they are Important
you'll never believe. whose main blog that post was from. hi, it's me, tumblr user radioactive-yuri, formerly known as thermodynamic-comedian. this is my side blog. and a good few years ago, i made that very post on my main blog.
i have been fighting in these trenches. for YEARS.
fuck my stupid baka life I should have been a male black widow backflipping into death via wild cannibalistic sexual behavior
@pangur-and-grim
There’s six guys who live in this flat and all they do all day is play WoW and watch movies. Waking up at 2pm every day and there’s always just someone asleep on the bed near all the multimonitor computer setups. There’s always music playing and it feels like a recovery day every day, padding around blearily in pyjamas or underwear. Old hoodies from defunct school teams. They’ve got this system where they’re selling their excess computing power to companies and hosting all this warez, and they’re stealing the internet from the business next door anyway and getting welfare on top of all that. They’re self sufficient and never go outdoors except to buy more fast food, and even then only in the dark. But then one of them wakes up dead some heavy afternoon. He’s just dead and they don’t know why but maybe the floor covered in fast food wrappings is a clue. They don’t want to tell the cops because of the purgatory den they live in and the illegality that supports it, and as far as they know he never had any actual parents. So it’s trouble. It’s taking a long trip out to the forest and thinking about how stars are so far away for the first time in a long time. It’s sweating in the cold air and digging a hole all night with your brand new shovels to leave him alone in. And it’s a long few days cracking all his passwords to keep his identity and associated payments persisting. Until the rhythm of waking up every day at 2pm to play WoW for nine hours and half watch a movie on your other monitor takes over again. It’s the same as it ever was except now there’s a room no one ever goes in.
I feel like the Brazilian football league is a goldmine of untapped potential for silly tumblr posts. What if I just started posting random funny moments of Brazilian football
Two clips with similar energy: a Vasco player getting sent down a flight of stairs
And also a Coritiba player jumping over the barricade to celebrate his goal without realizing there’s a hole right behind it
What’s crazy about that second clip of the Coritiba player falling in the hole is that it’s from 2014, and just YESTERDAY the SAME THING happened with THE SAME TEAM!!!
A Coritiba player was celebrating a goal yesterday, 12 years after the original meme, and once again fell in a hole behind the barricade
the most burnt out girl in the world would like to remind you that she's actually really lazy compared to the people around her and she could probably use some extra work to keep her honest
standing ovation is such a good phrase. that show was so great we laid an egg
join tumblr
I feel like the Brazilian football league is a goldmine of untapped potential for silly tumblr posts. What if I just started posting random funny moments of Brazilian football
I’m gonna tell you guys one of the greatest true stories of Brazilian football.
The year was 1994. Brazil hadn’t won the men’s World Cup in 24 years, which (until then 🥲) had been our longest dry spell since we won our first title in 1958.
And then, in 1994, we had finally assembled the super team. And this team’s main star was none other than Romário.
In May, disaster struck. Romário’s father was kidnapped in Rio by a group of criminals, who demanded a $7 million ransom.
Romário, who played in Barcelona at the time, flew back to Rio. But instead of negotiating with the criminals for his father’s ransom, or even pleading with the local police, Romário called the press.
He announced to the Brazilian public that if his father was not returned unharmed immediately, he would not travel to the World Cup, which was set to start in a few weeks.
You don’t get it. This was catastrophic news to the country. We couldn’t win this WC without Romário. It’s like Argentina winning the WC without Messi. Romário essentially told these criminals that if we lost the 1994 World Cup, it would be their fault.
This caused absolute chaos in the city of Rio de Janeiro. The local police turned the city upside down hunting these guys. All of the cartels issued bounties on them. It was open fucking season on these guys. Even normal ass people were on the streets of Rio looking for them.
You had cops, crime bosses, drug lords, regular people, fucking EVERYBODY in Rio was hunting down these kidnappers. It was insane.
The pressure was so great that within 4 days, Romário’s father was released, unharmed, without a cent of the ransom being paid.
And so, Romário traveled to the World Cup, and brought home our 4th trophy.
That’s him holding the cup. All because the city of Rio went on a 4 day rampage manhunt to rescue his father.
Image description: a screenshot that reads the following;
“Nobody:
Girls that bullied goth kids in high school:”
Attached images are of Taylor Swift, a white woman with sunglasses, blonde hair, a black tank top reading “this is my fight song”, and green shorts. She is wearing a leather bondage harness. It is backwards.
my favorite genre of humor is alt text being just completely factual and somehow reading the image for filth
Oh easy mistake. Yearning actually rises from the floor and longing hangs from the ceiling
nasa is using a 3D world graphic for the solar eclipse thingy today where germany is still devided in east and west adjfglkafdhgadfg. buddies, it's been almost 40 years.
So I showed this to a physicist and they were like "Oh! Yes! It's a figure from Fred Espenak's very old paper where he did a bunch of eclipse graphics! I've been looking at these my entire internet life, basically, for every solar eclipse! They called him Mr. Eclipse. He just passed away recently 🥺"
Anyway apparently Mr. Eclipse made 5000 years' worth of solar eclipse graphics, which you can find the simpler versions of here
So now instead of laughing at NASA for their outdated graphics I'm emotional about Mr. Eclipse and his hard work
You gotta be really publicly passionate about things if you want your friends to text you. Bc people will forget to text you because they’re human. But if you’re really openly the friend who loves identifying ants your friends will think of you when they see ants. And they’ll text you “what ant is this [blurry photo]”. And then they’ll ask you how you’ve been and we should get coffee sometime. But if they don’t know what you love they’ll never know what you like