Lord JenJen Bee Hunter Extrodinare Esquire III 🔞

You know when your sitting on the toilet shitting out the Grandé Matcha Frappé with whole milk because you're lack toes intolerance in a Walmart bathroom and the person on stall next to you tells you to stop shitting because they don't like the smell. And then tell you by peeing out your butt you're ruining their day personally. That's what most of you guys are like. Stop telling me not to shit in the toilet. This is my toilet and I'll shit here if I want. PASS THE CHEESE PLEASE!!!

[indiedrone]

but mom how will other people know that you, a white Texan, are a Christian

[fullblownpanic-deactivated20141]

same

[paroxetini]

Jesus

[ahs-delrey]

I bet those two are couple now..

[fullblownpanic-deactivated20141]

I’m gay

[indiedrone]

me too

[kateordie]

This is such a great story

[indiedrone]

update from Houston pride 2019! we’re friends

[thesubcon10ent]

Some fool: Avengers Infinity War was the most ambitious crossover event in history!

Tumblr users indiedrone and fullblownpanic: oh really? Watch this

[guiltyidealist]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[myjetpack]

An early Halloween cartoon for Guardian Books

[catgirl-catboy]

What I legit thought the punchline was gonna be.

[computer-wizard]

but what if

[jan-pi-suli-ala]

fucking spot the difference game

[targetedknowledge]

[lew-basnight]

Crevicecat

[goth-queen]

[the-tree-line]

we could go back to telegraphs instead of social media. send your mutuals unspeakable strings of morse code at 4:30am

[the-tree-line]

.- …. …. …. …. …. / ..-. . .-.. .-.. / -.. --- .-- -. / .- -. -.. / -… .-. --- -.- . / -- -.-- / .--. . -. .. - … / - --- -.. .- -.-- / -.-- . --- .-- -.-. …. / --- ..- -.-. …. / -.-- --- ..- -.-. …. -.-.-- -.-.-- -.-.-- -.-.-- / … . -. - / ..-. .-. --- -- / -- -.-- / - . .-.. . --. .-. .- .--. ….

[kaijutegu]

personally i prefer semaphore

[iridescent-lightning]

so prefacing this with the fact that I know that the fun is sorta taken out of this by me translating, but not everyone will have the energy to look it up themselves, so I figured I'd help out.

Morse code: AEEEEE FELL DOWN AND TROKE MY PENIT TODAY YEOWCE OUCH YOUCH!!!! SENT FROM MY TELEGRAPH

Semaphore: NO NOT YOUR PENITS

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

yeah okay ill reblog that

[geezmarty]

only social on the internet unionized enough for mass bullying to actually work. I love us

[wordfather]

i had a coworker who had such a strong sense of smell that she could tell when people were on their periods and publically called them out on it, so i started calling her the Bloodhound which she didnt appreciate for some reason. girl you made this bed im just decorating it

[kankat11]

Tumblr isn't giving us back the boops for ides of march so I will do it myself.

Get your boops everyone!!!

I just put these together real quick feel free to use them.

[offonaherosjourney]

My favorite Ides of March conspiracy theory that I just made up is that Julius Caesar was only stabbed once and the other 22 stabs came from time travelers

[oviids]

i’m screaming Xena caused the Ides of March

[caparrucia]

God FORBID women do anything!

[i-like-to-cry]

GO FERB GO!!!🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

[rave-lord-nito]

Julius Ceasar has been dead for 2064 slutty, slutty years

[rave-lord-nito]

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2065 slutty, slutty years

[rave-lord-nito]

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2066 slutty, slutty years

[rave-lord-nito]

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2067 slutty, slutty years

[rave-lord-nito]

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2068 slutty, slutty years

[rave-lord-nito]

Julius Caesar has been dead for 2069 (nice) slutty, slutty years

[skarabrae-stone]

[oviids]

i’m screaming Xena caused the Ides of March

[caparrucia]

God FORBID women do anything!

[orisnitsa]

No one:

Tumblr users at 00:00 on March 15th:

[finnslay]

opening tumblr in march and it's just like "huh. knife weather we're having."

[jvgsjeff]

[yahenni]

[doctor-wormm]

please reblog this i spent way too long on what was supposed to be a quick edit