lotus! I need some of your favourite 14/river fics, or honestly any of your favourite river/doctor fics!! I wanna get into my hyperfixation again in time for the Christmas special!
Ana 💕
You, Ana, have opened the pandoras box (aka my bookmarks) with this ask. This could become a bit long because a. I am a chatterbox, and b. I have little to no idea what your fic preferences are, so I'll just recommend you a bunch and hope that my taste in fics at least vaguely aligns with yours. Here we go:
*= Smut
°= Fix it
14 x River:
*This phantom life sharpens like an image (but it sharpens like a knive) This is the perfect fic. It isn't finished yet, and I'm honestly not sure anymore if it's a fix it or not, but it is great.
°In thee I delight A sweet little outsider!pov fic. Just something nice for the soul.
°It must be light wherever you are More of a multi-Doctor fic really (not at once), but there's some fourteen at the end.
13 x River:
°I'm Alive A short trilogy for when you need something funny and sweet.
°Love is not an emotion, it's a promise Again, multiple Doctors, but mainly 13. The Doctor refers to River as their 'little goddess'.
°5 Times The Doctor Talked About River Song With Graham (+1 Time The Fam Finally Met Her) It's in the title really. Very emotional. (Not as in sad necessarily, there are simply a lot of emotions).
°i am the distance you put between all of the moments that we will be Very lovely fic. Angstier than I thought tbh. So definetly something for when you want pain and longing. Has a happy ending though.
°You Know Who You Are and Yes You're Gonna Break Down This one's fun. They flirt, they dance, the Doctor's being gay... a bit of angst towards the end, but it gets resolved rather swiftly.
Of Handcuffs and Custard Creams Pure hilarity for when you need something to laugh about.
°she's got a smile that heals me Fix it happiness with a dash of angst and yearning, very sweet.
understanding I'm not sure how to describe this one. It is not necessarily Yaz bashing, it's just a lot of unrequited love. Very nice for when you're feeling vindictive after having to guess on every second fic on whether or not they're going to have the Doctors and Rivers marriage be open to sprinkle in some thasmin.
12 x River:
she blows out of nowhere, roman candle of the wild Human Au. Twelve is stood up on a date and River saves him. Banter and love at first sight ensure.
The Playwright and his muse Human Au. Twelve is a playwright in victorian(?) England, River Melody becomes his muse. A beautiful trilogy.
*But she prefers two lumps of sugar and tea Human Au. Twelve is the most grumpy barista that the world has ever seen, River does not put up with it. He immediatly falls in love, yet continues to be an idiot.
°Are we dancing after death, you and I? River gave the Doctor her regeneration energy, he becomes downright addicted. Angst, yearning, sweetness.
°I use the stars to find you This is just fluff and sapiness and domesticity. Like a long, warm, comforting hug.
*And if I get burned, at least we were electrified Sweet, hot smut. Twelve grows a beard.
*The voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses River has a praise kink. Very hot, and more emotional than it sounds. (Again, emotional does not mean sad. It just means... emotional).
Writing between the lines Have you ever wondered what elevens regeneration would've been like with River around? Well, wonder no longer! Here it is.
11 x River:
*°And all in war with Time for love of you The very first Doctorriver fic I ever read. A beautiful fix-it fic.
*though my eyes stare inward now at where you were Such a great fic. I won't spoil much because the riddle of it all is half the fun the first time around (for me it was, at least).
°Hold infinity in the palm of your hand The Doctor and River post dying. Very fun, very sweet. They're just so married (literally).
*heart swells like water A rewrite (or write along?) of 'Day of the moon' that fills in all the smutty gaps.
gazing into the abyss The Doctor has the last of the Mr. Clever residues fucked out of him by River. Very hot. River literally manages to seduce a robot. Not that we ever doubted her capability to do that.
To force them apart This might very well not be your cup of tea. I have a weakness for dark!Doctorriver.
°moved from day into night to be near you Steven Moffat had a very specific vision of how he wanted River and the Doctors story to end completly. This vision is sadly not canon. This vision is this fic.
Sharing Names This fic is amazing. It forever ingrained the headcanon in me that time lord names are telepathic.
Accomplice A fun little drabble. Hints of dark!Doctorriver.
a love that even time will lie down and be still for This one is so sweet! The Doctor is everything little Mels wanted in a partner.
and i'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways Human AU. River is very much in love with one John Smith. This one has a bit of everything. Fluff, flirting, angst...
10 x River:
*competition This one's a (very hot) revenge on the Doctorrose shippers who put works in the Doctorriver tags that are very mean to River. Maybe not your cup of tea.
9 x River:
°*Where I've been It's been a while since I've read this one, but I remember that it was incredible, so there's that.
Worth living for River helps the Doctor heal after the time war. Very sweet, if I remember correctly.
Multi-Doctor x River:
All in Your Head There are three Doctors (+ companions) in the TARDIS at once. River decides to be a telepathic tease. Very, very funny.
°Glad We're Here This is one of the funniest fics I've ever read. There are two Doctors (technically three, but thirteen misses the main action) and two Rivers. Lot's of timey wimey shenanigans ensue. It is so funny.
°*There is a love I reminisce This fic is wonderful. It includes eleven and eight and mentions a lot of the Doctorriver encounters featured in the audioplays. I'll admit, the ending somewhat confuses me, but that's probably nothing that couldn't be fixed with a reread. Lots of timey-wimey stuff.
Energy for a lot of words, but not for a long story (Oneshot collections):
The myth of us never ends 100 stories
You taught me how to love when nobody ever could 15 stories
It's called Marriage, Honey 70 stories
Recommended Authors for even more fics:
Del (godessdel) Their writing is just beautiful. Everything they write is so beautiful.
flowingtune Has great story ideas. Also writes lots of thoschody, if that is your jam. Lots of timetots.
melodypond_thewomanwhomarriedme (sexymonk) Has lots of fun stories and Au's.
HellNHighHeels I had one fic of the bookmarked and just checked them out to see if I should put them on the list. I haven't read much of them, but their stories sound like great fun.
TheWifeofRiverSong If you ever feel like reading the hottest smut, they're the author for you.
hihoplastic Their fics are good. I never noticed just how many Doctorriver fics of theirs I have in my bookmarks until now.
because Ryland Grace is a weirdly buff character and no one ever remarks on it I do think it’d be funny for everyone to see him as a dorky sweater wearing dude who probably doesn’t do much only for something drastic to happen and Grace just… Picks Stratt up and just books it.
no one expects him to do this, not even himself but there is Danger (tm) and she did not respond quick enough for his taste so she is now in his arms/over a shoulder, and they are getting out of here expeditiously.
He runs a seven minute mile with a full grown woman in his arms and all security is trying to do is catch up.
Shortcuts to determine if an integer is divisible by:
This is a given.
If the last digit is divisible by 2 (a.k.a. even), then so is the whole number.
If the sum of the digits is divisible by 3, then so is the whole number. The recursivity of this means that if the sum has multiple digits, you can add them up again until you get a single digit and see if it's 3, 6, or 9.
Like the rule for 2, but check if the last two digits are divisible by 4.
If it ends in 5 or 0.
If the rules for both 2 and 3 apply.
No shortcut. Alas.
Like the rules for 2 and 4, but check if the last three digits are divisible by 8. (Yes, this pattern keeps going for 16, 32, etc.)
Like the rule for 3, but the sum of the digits (or the sum of the sum of the digits, etc.) must be 9.
#THIS POST IS WRONG 7 DOES HAVE A RULE FOR HOW TO TELL IF THE NUMBER IS DIVISIBLE#it's just. not a short cut#you're better off dividing it and seeing if you get a whole number than doing the method
Okay, so, basically, you remove the least important digit of the number (which is the first digit from the right), you double it, and then subtract it from the remaining number. If the number you get is still large, you do it again.
I love when people try to gotcha me on my stance that all sports should be gender integrated with "even American football???" because I can instantly come back with "oh lmao, no, I don't think ANYONE should play American football at all, it's way too dangerous" like nice try but I know no amount of testosterone is going to protect you from the profound, life ruining health issues caused by getting repeated severe concussions over the course of several years. No one should play this sport.
idk man sometimes i like it when video game writers are allowed to plan a series of events that happen in a specific order and affect each other in turn to become an overarching narrative, and i don’t mind trusting those writers to take me through those events in the order that is emotionally effective. i don’t really care if a game forces me to go through the forest area first before i can attempt the icy area because maybe there’s things that happen in the forest area that inform later scenes in the icy area. maybe we don't need more superficial player choice open world concepts if it comes at the cost of the ability to write a story with actual significant plot events and character development in each section
this reminds me of a time I once walked into a very small and under staffed record store and the only employee there (a gangly teenager as per standard) had tuned in the whole store’s speakers to a radio station playing “appalachian frog sounds” with the occasional interjection of the station’s host who was a guy who was giving full shock jock energy level announcements about the frogs
I wish to this day I had asked for the station’s name…
"am I evil, archivist? is a thing evil when it simply obeys its own nature? when it embodies its nature? when that nature is shaped by those who revile it?"
i love michael so much. the way he gets treated by gertrude hits home a lot and i'm generally a fan of the spiral. as someone who's been to a lot of psychology related doctors and deals w a whole host of issues, the wonderland episode is so fucking cruel and also relatable. rip michael distortion, you'd love my therapist. i too wonder if i'm evil by nature, it's lovely
i got a whole series of these! i'll add the links in edit :3
In light of the Odyssey movie coming out this is my formal PSA that Helen of Troy is actually Helen of Sparta, Troy is the city she was stolen and brought to. The entire Trojan war is the Greeks trying to get her back from Troy, because she is from Sparta. I feel like we all collectively forget this.
listen it's not that I think epic the musical is a perfect adaption of the odyssey but it was an impressive passion project that knew what it wanted to be and knew what people gravitated to in the original work and it put significant effort into conveying this through its unique medium and tone to the point that hundreds of other people felt compelled to put effort into their own artistic interpretations of that version of the story. and that's really cool! and yes I would be more critical if it was a 100 million dollar project made by a professional because what the fuck do you mean you're a world-famous director and you cut the my name is nobody scene are you goddamn serious
Instead of the new dogshit Odyssey film you should watch Iphigenia (1977). It’s made by actual Greek people and focuses on a mother-daughter relationship to explore how women are sacrificed by powerful men in times of war. Also the main actress has the face of an angel 🙏 the whole movie is available on YT with English subtitles.
You can actually predict bubbles, especially ones this obvious. Everyone who wants to know how should read A Short History of Financial Euphoria by John Kenneth Galbraith.
Yes, it’s dry.
Yes, it’s 30 years old.
But it gives a tidy little checklist of “is this a bubble?” and AI has been checking every one off like a to do list. Just like NFTs and ponzicoin did before it.
You can also read This Time Is Different: Eight Centuries of Financial Folly by Carmen Reinhart and Kenneth Rogoff. It's on bookshop.org and, of course, on the Evil Empire website. It's all in the title, which is an ironic quoting of people who say what bubble-istas always say - what AI people are saying right now.
what if your doppelganger loved being you more than you ever loved being yourself. they're better at being you and everyone loves them and it feels almost selfish to want your life back. i want clone horror but the horror is that the thing trying to replace you is also the person you always wanted to be.
Did I just employ the "Treat Them Like You are A Kindergarten Teacher Again" method with my insurance company today? I surely did. Did it work? Probably better than intended because I made an actual doctor feel contrite.
So, my insurance has been trying to not cover my SNRI because it is new on the market and no generic available yet, so pricey.
I apply for a refill and the request gets locked for review. Again. For the 3rd time.
This time I call and immediately ask to speak to the actual doctor making these clinical decisions. Very politely. Must be a slow day because they allow it.
ME: [Teacher voice] I'm calling in regards to the SNRI you have placed a lock on. Why was this decision made?
DOC: Well, there are dozens of other medications on the market in that tier, and far cheaper for you and [insurer]. We have sent a request to your doctor to consider alternatives.
ME: I am aware of that. So, can you do me a HUGE favor and look up my prescription history really quickly and tell me how many SSRIs and SNRIs were only filled once in 2022 for me, showing they were poorly tolerated?
DOC: It looks like eight.
ME: Great job! Now, can you please look at my genetic test for psychiatric drug tolerance and tell me how many medications are listed in the safe category?
DOC: Two.
ME: Awesome! Now, can you tell me what type that other drug is that I'm not taking?
DOC: Yeah, totally, it's an MAOI.
ME: That's correct, you're really knowledgeable! Should I be taking something as dangerous as an MAOI with my other medications, or even just in general?
DOC: It's contraindicated for sure.
ME: It is! So true! So, last question since you've been incredibly smart and helpful. Is it less expensive for [insurer] to pay out for the medication knowing they already get a huge manufacturer discount anyway, or is it more expensive for them to pay for me to need potentially long-term inpatient psychiatric care?
DOC: I'll clear the code, ma'am and flag it as medically necessary. I'm sorry about this.
ME: I appreciate you SO MUCH. You have a great day now.
WALGREENS PHARMACY TECH WITH 5 NOSE RINGS AND PURPLE HAIR STARING AT ME: ........... OKAY! It'll be ready in five minutes. You wanna come work here?
Bookseller: Finished already?
Belle: Oh, I couldn't put it down. Have you got anything new?
Bookseller: [laughing] Not since yesterday.
Belle: That's all right. I'll borrow... this one!
Bookseller: That one? But you've read it twice!
Belle: Well, it's my favorite! Far off places, daring sword fights, magic spells, a prince in disguise!
Bookseller: If you like it all that much, it's yours.
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