As a chronically ill and disabled adult who was a chronically ill and disabled child but wasn't considered as such bc my issues weren't diagnosed until later, one of the hardest things to get over is like.
The shame of bad attendance and the idea that not Showing Up always makes you Unworthy
Schools go SO HARD on demanding perfect attendance and punishing periods of absence and illness, treating it as truancy, etc, demanding or expecting that you power through regardless of pain or physical consequences
And as an adult it is so hard to like. Let go of that
I am very purposefully self-employed in such a way where I heavily limit deadlines, physical expectations on my presence places, etc, and i build a lot of cushioning around my appearances to make sure my body can handle conventions and markets and that my recovery afterwards is smooth
But even as I do that for work I struggle so much to shake the like. Ingrained and scarified anxiety that if I don't show up every week to x activity or club or community, or if my communication is flaky and inconsistent during rougher periods, that everyone will be like. Mad or upset or cold
But that's literally never the case. I haven't been able to go to temple for nearly two months and when I finally got to go today lots of ppl were very pleased to see me and greeted me very warmly and were glad to see me back
And it's the same even when I go to like. Fucking bingo at the gay bar
And idk it's very frustrating when my body has been like. Forcibly and quite nastily taught this lesson that perfect or near attendance is Demanded, and once you're absent for more than a month you don't deserve to return
But actual human beings like. Never treat me that way. Bc that's not real.
A thing that's maddening about accessibility politics around stuff like chronic absence and inconsistency is that many schools and workplaces and government programmes effectively demand it for bureaucratic purposes - to keep track of statistics, to keep hold of rekevant funding, etc
A thing that's maddening about accessibility politics around stuff like chronic absence and inconsistency is that many schools and workplaces and government programmes effectively demand it for bureaucratic purposes - to keep track of statistics, to keep hold of relevant funding, etc
But like. Social spaces and community spaces - basically, everywhere you exist as a human being before or instead of existing as a number in a system, do not see it that way
Human beings don't go, oh, you were gone for a month, fuck you. They're just glad to see you again now 😭
