okay wait realistically when do you guys think ilya realized shane was Different neurologically?
i know the first thought is like. when shane was folding his pants before sex but i honestly think ilya just thought it was dorky and cute and didn't think too deeply into it
to me, when i consider how ilya interprets all of their interactions up until florida, the stylist reveal at the bar is when ilya fully realizes that shane is really just wired completely differently than most people and that's why none of their interactions have ever made sense to him.
this is also a personal headcanon of mine and i don't think this is in the text or meant to be BUT HEAR ME OUT
he sits through their entire conversation with such obvious anxiety, tapping and twitching and staring and thinking shane can see it and is just torturing him with the build-up to his engagement announcement because ilya deserves it. and then shane goes. can i tell you a secret? :) and ilya's like FUCK no PLEASE don't but his mouth says okay because he is a masochist and he needs to know where they stand and if he's about to fight for his right to be shane's mistress, and shane just goes 'i..... hired a stylist :3'
come with me on this face journey for a moment
this FOR ME is the moment ilya realizes that he's been misunderstanding shane completely. i don't think he goes 'oh shit... autistic' but i do think he fully understands that shane is just Like That and genuinely can't read the room for shit and has no idea ilya is crawling out of his skin to know if they can be something again
anyone else would have acknowledged the hints he was dropping. the physical cues. the updowns. but not shane. which means none of his past attempts to silently communicate got through, either. which means. a lot.
and then ilya gets so much bolder, flirtier, he asks what he wants to know directly, he touches shane more, he's more playful. it was never about shane not wanting him the way ilya wanted him. he realizes shane just doesn't know how bad ilya wants him, because ilya hasn't been communicating in a way shane can understand. and that heals a lot of hurt in an instant