where's my french vanilla?

allison //// wa

[satanicvaginas2-deactivated2020]

[cancerianfactsdaily]

sometimes the stupid bitch in your life is you and thats all cool

[thetaoofzoe]

This is when you have that real-real talk with yourself starting with, “Bitch, for real? Come on.’

[stability]

me talking to my family about social issues

[pancakeke]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[bunny-the-lifeguard]

I don’t know why this is so funny but I legit just laughed for probably 10 minutes straight oh my god

[just-shower-thoughts]

The spiders that live in Buckingham Palace now are probably the descendants of the spiders that lived there during Victorian times - it’s a whole parallel royal family but with spiders

[sailorbrazil]

me:

the mitski that lives behind my brain: nobOdy nObody nobodY nObody

me: ok

[intriga-hounds]

Idk if youve seen this

[gaynfl-moved]

pick your fighter

the ‘$1000 to go to Hawaii’ bride, the ‘I bought a $99 polygraph on amazon’ lady, or the ‘why was $200 so huge’ birthday girl

[marisatomay]

a lot of people seem to be confused and think the hawaii bride and the polygraph lady are the same but they’re actually 2 separate people so here’s all 3 in one go

the “$1500 to go to hawaii” bride

Ms Polygraph Test

$200 birthday

bask in the unfiltered nonsense of it all

[gaynfl-moved]

since someone mentioned this and I had forgotten, a last minute entry fighter: “Squire Sebastian” lady

[edating]

yes ur allowed to have other friends u just have to love me more

[lronic]

a snake, ladies and gentlemen

[world-of-cats]

Source

[shittycryptids]

A ghost that exists only to drink lemonade at 2am.

[percethecurse]

That’s just me and I don’t appreciate being called shitty thanks

[lunaeregia]

idk how ppl just be drinking juice and soda all day and not even glance at a cup of water…………….like u don’t feel that? ur body shutting down?

[myrmeen]

Soda and juice both have water in them, as does food. The body still gets enough hydration to get by.

[lunaeregia]

[ororomunroedontpullout]

[little-tunny]

[thewildthingsarenow]

Yo this is legitimately the funniest shit I have seen today

[nflstreet-deactivated20181217]

Laughing very hard about calling a 77-year-old man a ‘thottie’

[trashboat]

i go absolutely ape shit buck wild when people ask me if i want to run errands with them like Let’s Fucking Go. and my mind absolutely maxes out of dopamine when they ask if i wanna stop for coffee. and if someone took me to the park id go bonkers in funcking yonkers

[trashboat]

i got so high last night that i started ghostwriting for a golden retriever apparently