Broken, Carter thought back to all the bumps in the road he had hit growing up, and how he still stood here, not as strong as he had once been not too long ago. He was starting to get worn down, tiny chips apparent on the walls he had spent his whole life building around him, almost as though Lucas had been given a small chisel and a hammer and allowed to have at it. Each word, even just the expressions on his face, had Carter in a complete spin. He was so lost in the man, drunk on him, how in the world had he became so invested?
He nodded, trying to listen to the other speak but the more he opened his mouth all Carter could do was try to let it all sink in. He felt like he could explode at any given point, all this stuff about not being scared, stepping out of comfort zones, who the hell in their right minds could walk head first into an abyss without knowing what the hell was going to come out on the other side? Lucas stopped speaking and silence filled the air for a minute, the thought of fear surrounding him, suffocating him, but he knew he had to do something - acknowledge that a question had just been placed on the table. He nodded, slowly of course still trying to process, “i’ll try.” It was the most he could do but it was better than nothing.
His eyes lit up at the thanks for the letter, at least appreciative now that Lucas had cooled down. Maybe writing it wasn’t such a bad idea after all? He just nodded, unsure of what he should even say right now. Luckily Lucas, as though reading his mind, stepped back telling him he should leave. Carter looked up from the spot he had fixated on on the floor and nodded, “understandable.” Carter Andrew, man of never ending words, was literally speechless the longer this encounter was going on. "Just don’t let this complicate things, please.” He motioned for the door, “i’ll see you around?”
Lucas was a strong believer of the saying ‘You gotta risk it to win the biscuit’. He really believed that you had to go all in sometimes to really get a great outcome. Nothing great came out of playing it safe and Lucas always put his all of his own into everything.He worse his heart on his sleeve, he trusted everyone, he got attached too quickly. They could be flaws, things that Lucas could work on, because he already has had problems because of that. But that’s just the way he goes in life. That’s how he is and he really doesn’t have any intention to change it. While Lucas put all of his cards down at once without thinking, Carter was the best poker player in the world.
Lucas knew that when Carter replied and talked in only ones word sentences, he was exhausted and could no longer hold a proper conversation. Plus, he felt like they’ve already said enough anyways. “Because they are not complicated already?” They had to address this, because while they tried to deny it, things were complicated between them and for everyone else that they dragged into the eye of the hurricane that was Lucas and Carter. “I promise it won’t complicate things more, though” He said with a smile and a chuckle, reaching to give Carter one last hug before leaving. He took in his scent and then pulled back, keeping his hands on Carter’s chest.
“You’ll definitely see me around” He said with a wink and a wide smile, hands slipping away from Carter as he took some steps back towards the door. “You know... you should come ad cuddle with me some other time. It’s nice... when you do that” He said, knowing he was going into dangerous territory, but he seriously loved when he cuddled with Carter and slept in his arms. “You know where my room is and maybe I’ll keep my door unlocked these days” He playfully said and then opened Carter’s door to leave. “See you around, Carter” He finished and then stepped out of the room.
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