Beats and Bacon

I'm Luke. 29 years old, and in case you're curious, yes I am the guy in that shower post and yes I am 6'3" like I said I was in that post. I spend a lot of my time listening to and looking for new music, as well as travelling the world as much as I can with my wonderful fiance.  I'm not as active on tumblr as I was in the past but I'll occasionally post fitness progress photos as well as reblog funny stuff when I get the chance.  For those of you that really want to know/care, my Instagram, Soundcloud, Snapchat are all: lukej428, please don't send me nudes.

[lukej428]

My brother in law is an awesome musician, I just found some of the music he made back in 2006 and it’s beautiful

[ankle-beez]

Normal people on Twitter are having an absolutely normal one over muppet babies letting gonzo wear a dress

[ankle-beez]

The thing about the episode is that it didn't even have an inherently trans meesage? Gonzo wanted to wear a dress to this ball they were having and he was scared he was gonna be made fun of so he disguises himself as Gonzorella so he can wear the dress and then the plot to Cinderella plays out like usual, and all the other muppet babies were like "we love you gonzo, we sorry we made you feel that way, we love you just the way you are"

The moral was literally the same "be yourself" stuff every kids media does, it's just that involves a boy wearing a dress this time

[thefriendlylover]

“Manly muppets”

FOR FU–

[stabbedthrutheeye]

bring back manly muppets? bring back manly muppets? BRING BACK MANLY MUPPETS?

DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE FUCKING PINNACLE OF MANLINESS TO YOU?

IS THIS MANLET OF A FROG YOUR IDEAL MAN?

AH YES, THIS IS THE EPITOME OF MACHO

LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME THIS ISNT A WHOLE FUCKING TWINK

BRING BACK MANLY MUPPETS. CHRIST HELP ME

[stabbedthrutheeye]

THIS

ISN’T

EVEN

THE

FIRST

TIME

THE ORIGINAL MUPPET BABIES AIRED IN 1984

[clownboybeebop]

is she trying to argue that gonzo has a dick while he canonically has a fist in his ass

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

Gonzo the Great, nonbinary icon

[lukej428]

isnt gonzo discovered to be an alien in the muppet movie? 

[omghotmemes]

I found it funny that a dude living in a cave for 20 years decided to vaccinate as soon as he heard about the virus for the first time

[redpandarascal]

you leave your cave and you hear that there’s a global plague, but good news, there’s a vaccine! but bad news, a lot of people won’t get the vaccine, out of jackassery.

if that was me I’d be like “shit like this, is EXACTLY why I’m a cave hermit.”

[wadey-wilson]

2020 be like, is it saturday tomorrow or is it june

[crittizen]

[themoonismybeloved]

i looked at my calendar turns out it is both saturday and june

[qillermeme]

[dinosaurpubes]

[inkrton]

he cannot die. Unstoppable

[brondeef]

Bad dog. Out you go

[tsukuyomishirabes]

The Dog Will Stay

[tokenduelist-chillzone]

Too bad.

[xlugger]

the dog stays

[tokenduelist-chillzone]

WRONG

Trap Master can only be flipped during your turn or by the effect of another card. Since no card has been activated to trigger such an effect, Trap Master cannot be activated in response to Trap Stun.

THE DOG GOES.

[superflyingthing]

The effect of Prediction Princess Tarotrei can flip trap monster face up on the opponents turn. 

THE DOG STAYS

[lawd-what-a-booty]

Once we send that Prediction Princess Tarotrei to the graveyard, our trap sealing will stick around.

The dog goes. 

[legionoftuna]

Ritual Sealing does not negate, only destroy. Prediction Princess Tarotrei is destroyed, but its effect is still carried out.

THE DOG. STAYS.

[xxxtictacion]

I’m watching an online yu gi oh battle

[swordofevilsban]

THE DOG GOES

[duskanaragemother]

THE DOG STAYS

[pixelsnotdreams-deactivated2019]

^ this entire thread in a nutshell.

[dryeguy]

THE DOG IS MINE.

[65-percent-puns]

[silviadragoness]

Quality vintage post

[lukej428]

i didnt understand any of this but im just happy the dogs okay

[memewhore]

[captainsingleton]

Man: What’s a matter girl, you had a little bit too much corn?

Pig: *very long disgruntled groan which rises in pitch*

Man: Is that a yeah?

Pig: *shorter groan*

Man: Okay.  Here I come, I gotta get the intoxicated pig… Look at this pig…

Pig: *quiet snort*

Man: Hey!

Pig: *snort*

Man: Are you messed up, girl?  

Pig: *short snort*

Man: Never seen a damn pig… Look at that, that one here’s fine, that one there is fine, this one here is turned belly up 

Pig: *snort snort snort snort*

Man: Hey you

Pig: *snort*

Man: Whoa!  Whoa!  Shit!  [Unintelligible] HOWH!  Come here girl! 

Pig: *grunt grunt grunt*

Man: Holy hell, fuck...I didn’t mean to do that

[kitharion]

“Whoa! Woah! Shit The Bed Almighty!” Is my new favorite expletive

[special-lucky-chosen-one]

my nephew, who is like 11 or 12, is playing “5D Chess With Multiverse Time Travel”, which is exactly what it says on the tin, and I have never been more terrified of the youth of today

[special-lucky-chosen-one]

here’s a sample picture from the Steam page:

what the hell is this

[eusocia-deactivated20210518]

[eusocia-deactivated20210518]

[lukej428]

Hi Guys, ive been playing a lot of mordhau in the last year which is a medival slasher game and have recently really started enjoying the archery side of things.  Made my first Montage and im pretty proud of it, if you like gaming, enjoy.

[uncle-dre2-deactivated20210813]

[highhoneypiee]

Pick a bottle any bottle lol

[artisanalbooty]

[volumenviridis]

I recently read an article about a therapy group for depressed people who had all attempted suicide at some point. The breakthrough question for them was, “If your goal was to be just as miserable as possible, what would you do?” Most of them listed things like not getting enough sleep, or isolating themselves from everyone… the list goes on, but the point is, they listed things they already do. But now they saw those “coping mechanisms” for what they really were: things that were actively making their condition worse.

I read that article at 2:00 AM, asked myself, am I TRYING to be miserable tomorrow? And it was easier than usual to put my phone down and fall asleep. Even my intrusive “lying down” thoughts about meaninglessness and existential dread were easier to suppress when I framed them as things I’d think about to purposefully make myself feel as awful as possible.

[crystalwitch-in-the-tardis]

Fuck that is helpful

[lukej428]

If anyone likes watching medival slasher games

I play a lot of Mordhau, and I decided I’d start streaming it since I’ve gotten pretty good at it.  If any of you guys wanna tune in and watch me play my twitch is https://www.twitch.tv/lukej428  I’ll be live probably around 5:30Pm PST

[froze]

they’re talking to each other omg (‘:

[wizardshark]

This is my favorite video in all of world history I would die for these cats

[lukej428]

god i want a popeyes chicken sandwich so fucking bad right now

[caroldanversenthusiast]

i found this sketch on youtube and i can’t stop thinking about it

[awkwordalex]

Cutthroat Kitchen

[haunchylaurels]

[hayleyolivia]

‪So listen. I’ve had this song stuck in my head for two days now because of this tweet. Look what they have done.‬

[racingbarakarts]

I used to have geese so here’s a tip for everyone:

If a goose is attacking you, don’t run. No matter what, stand your ground. They can fly but when they’re mad, they don’t usually try to fly. Hold your hands in front of you, ready to grasp. When the goose gets close, grab it by the neck bit closest to the head and squeeze. Not tight enough to choke the goose, but tight enough so they can’t break free. You can hold them until they calm down or just do the next step right away. The next step is literally just to chuck them as far as possible and run for your life. It makes the goose know you’re in charge and you have a better chance of getting away. Trust me I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count

[myblogisnotinteresting]

I can’t tell if this is a shitpost or actual advice. But I do know geese are the fucking worst.

[racingbarakarts]

Actual advice! Just yeet a goose

[61below]

Yeet the geese

[racingbarakarts]

I’ve been reading the replies to this so here’s an update!

DO NOT KICK A GOOSE. Geese are very important for nature as they maintain insect populations and they help pick weeds that try to kill useful plants! Geese are good, they’re just grumpy. Never kick one because you could fatally injure them. They do not have the bone structure to survive a strong kick.

I had to deal with this a lot because my family bred geese. Geese are not happy about their eggs being taken so after you take one, they remember for their whole lives. We had a farm, we did what we had to do in order to survive. We loved our geese and our geese loved us, just not when we were taking their babies.

Do not kill Geese just because they’re mean. Please

Yes you could crawl towards them, but that only works if it’s one goose. If it’s more than one attacking you, you can yeet them as they get close.

This post was about white geese, which is what we bred, but you can do this for Canadian geese too! Because attacking a Canadian goose can get you a fine and even jail time, this is a much nicer approach to being attacked by a goose.

Also for some reason a lot of replies are saying this can break a goose’s neck???? It can’t??? Don’t spread lies. Geese are built to be picked up by the neck and they have tons of muscles in their necks to support being thrown. This is how they fight each other. It doesn’t hurt them. Just stuns them.

DO NOT DO THIS TO SWANS!!!!!!! SWANS ARE EVIL IF YOU ARE BEING ATTACKED BY A SWAN JUST ACCEPT YOUR DEATH. THEY WILL NOT BE STUNNED. THEY WILL NOT FORGET. THEY WILL FOLLOW YOU HOME AND MURDER YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. SWANS ARE DEMONS

[askfordoodles]

Actually, I have picked up a swan by just, slotting in under my arm; once their wings are held in place they just sorta hiss a bit and accept their fate. It’s how wildlife centres and rspca deal with them. They just use swan-bags, I’M NOT kidding, that completely neutralizes them. LOOK AT ALL THESE DEMONIC BULLIES BEING DEFEATED BY BEING CHIHUAHUA-HANDBBAGGED.

In fairness, in MY CASE, this was a juvenile male, but old enough that the dad had evicted it from the lake. He was in my way, hissing and refusing to move; and if you hiss at me, that’s a challenge, baby!

[kedreeva]

Most birds will accept their date once you have their wings (geese will, in my experience, chill once you have them under an arm too, I pick them up like that). They transport peafowl in sacks like that too:

[magellan-88]

This post is a journey

[funeral-clown]

bird straitjackets

[lukej428]

Man this post evolved since I last saw it and 100% for the better lol

[lukej428]

I can’t sleep, I really want to keep practicing guitar but it’s 1:30 so obviously I can’t lol. Learned pretty much the whole guitar intro to welcome home by coheed and cambria though!! So excited! Gonna nail it down in the next couple days so that I can play it full speed, and work on getting the rest of the song down