Pastries disguised as fruits and vegetables. (Source)
For reasons I cannot explain, every bit of this greatly upsets me.
we're not kids anymore.

if i look back, i am lost
Today's Document

祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Andulka
Jules of Nature

pixel skylines
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

oozey mess
Cosmic Funnies
NASA

izzy's playlists!
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
h
YOU ARE THE REASON
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
almost home

roma★
sheepfilms

seen from Malaysia

seen from United Kingdom

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seen from Malaysia
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seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Germany
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seen from Singapore

seen from United Kingdom
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@luvdarats
Pastries disguised as fruits and vegetables. (Source)
For reasons I cannot explain, every bit of this greatly upsets me.
I need show only fans to understand that while Crowley saving Aziraphale on a grander, historic scale is canon, legit and amazing, on a smaller, more everyday scale Crowley is completely useless and Aziraphale absolutely ruthless. I mean, Crowley’s name and number are in call center databases who pester you with annoying sales and advertisements while Aziraphale makes mafia members who try to threaten his shop leave and forget about him.
Crowley is bashful, nerdy, clumsy, and awkward and desperately wants to look cool. He falls off horses, gets cursed out by ducks, stammers a lot, and his idea of Being Bad is to let the air out of car tires. He gets contrite if Aziraphale so much as clucks his tongue at him. While Aziraphale wields a flaming sword, Crowley goes into battle with a tire iron.
Aziraphale lies to God, scares people away from his shop, has people convinced he’s a murderer, and would be very stylish if time didn’t progress forward. He calmly insists that he and Crowley face down Satan himself.
And they both got swindled for decades by Shadwell.
Crowley glues coins to sidewalks and watches from afar to see if anyone picks them up. He’s irritating, at best
Aziraphale makes traffic wardens’ notebooks explode on his way past, apparently thinking that they were invented by Hell. In the show when the Bentley drives away and that poor guys notebook bursts into sparks, that’s him.
Crowley is, like, basically just mischievous and trying to pretend that he’s evil because celestial beings in the Good Omens universe have to pick a side and just aren’t allowed to be ‘basically alright but with a certain sense of humour and an open dislike of authority.’
Aziraphale tries to be good by heaven’s very absolutist ‘no-grey areas’ standards, but on an instinctive level (in the book at least, less so in the show) he has much less value for life than Crowley does. Crowley’s the one who starts worrying about what the apocalypse will do to the dolphins and gorillas and the like, Aziraphale’s the one who straight up suffocates a dove for the sake of his magic act.
In the book, Aziraphale is the one who first suggests killing the AntiChrist. And it’s not in the ‘as a last resort’ way that Crowley suggests it on the show— when he finds out where the real AntiChrist is his first reaction is basically “yay! Now we can kill the child!”
Essentially, the main reason he’s on the ‘good’ side and Crowley’s on the ‘bad’ side appears to be because Heaven and Hell judge morality based on how willing you are to follow orders blindly without asking awkward questions (which is addressed pretty well in the show, actually, when Crowley outright says he Fell because he asked too many questions), rather than on your actual behaviour or beliefs.
crowley took a century long depression nap in the 1800s and got drunk for weeks after he found out what the spanish inquisition was
aziraphale straight up possessed a televangelist and declared on live tv to millions of people that they were all going to die in the apocalypse and their god wouldn’t care if their corpses were part of the ruins His celestial army left behind
TO THOSE MAKING NATIVE OCS
I see this a lot, no one has actual names, or any reference for names, that are legit Native American, varying among the tribes, for their characters.
Babynames.com and shit like that will give you names made up by white people.
However, I’ve got your solution.
Native-Languages is a good website to turn to for knowledge on a lot of native things, including native names. If you’re unsure about the names you’ve picked, they even have a list of made up names here!
Please don’t trust names like babynames.com for native names, they’re made up and often quite offensive to the cultures themselves.
Thank you!
This is so
Unnecessary
how do you explain to someone that this is your sense of humour
Deer are majestic, stupid as hell, but majestic none the less
Controversial Truths About Ancient Egypt Masterpost
The pyramids were built by contemporary workers who received wages and were fed and taken care of during construction
The Dendera “lightbulb” is a representation of the creation myth and has nothing to do with electricity
We didn’t find “““copper wiring””” in the great pyramid either
Hatshepsut wasn’t transgender
The gods didn’t actually have animal heads
Hieroglyphs aren’t mysteriously magical; they’re just a language (seriously we have shopping lists and work rosters and even ancient erotica)
The ancient Egyptian ethnicity wasn’t homogeneous
Noses (and ears, and arms) broke off statues and reliefs for a variety of reasons, none of which are “there is a widespread archaeological conspiracy to hide the Egyptian ethnicity”
The carvings at Abydos aren’t modern machines but recarvings over old carvings. Sure they look like them but if you can read hieroglyphs and know that Ramesses II will even usurp the carvings of his own father just to be a little shit
‘No soot on the ceilings and walls of the Dendera temple!’ is actually because of extensive restoration works and not because Egyptians were in on shit like Baghdad “batteries”
While the Egyptians were fine-ass astronomers they didn’t align any of their enormous and/or important buildings to modern star constellations, because constellations look very different now than they did ~5000 years ago
The pyramid is the simplest, sturdiest shape with which to build and many different cultures discovered this in their own time. There were never any weird fish humans/aliens involved
The sphinx of Gizah is only an approximate 5000 years old; the 10,000 year/rain erosion nonsense is proven hokum
Speaking of that particular sphinx, the Napoleonic expedition is not responsible for its missing nose
Akhenaten was not a “heretic” by contemporary standards
Ramses II appropriated a lot of his predecessors’ buildings/reliefs and isn’t really deserving of the epithet “the Great”
The Battle of Kadesh ended in a stalemate (twice)
While they had feline deities throughout their history, Egyptians didn’t actually worship cats themselves. This was a later Greek/Ptolemaeic addition
It was not, in fact, practice to shave off eyebrows after cats died; Herodotus lied about that
Herodotus lied about a lot of things and many misconceptions about ancient Egypt can be traced back to his Greek ass
I can’t believe I forgot my favourite Hill to Die On
Seth was not the god of “evil”, and despite his chaos providing a foil to order, he wasn’t completely villified until very late in Egyptian history, when he became associated with despised foreign enemies
Hats off to the few of you who’re reblogging this with tags saying you’re going to check my claims later. You make me not entirely despair of this hellhole.
Here are some vetted Egyptological books/sources (that are by and large appropriate for a lay-audience) you can find most, if not all of the above:
Lehner, M., The Complete Pyramids
Wilkinson, R. H., The Complete Temples of Ancient Egypt
Hornung, E., The One and the Many: Conceptions of God in Ancient Egypt
Dunand, F. & Zivie-Coche, C., Gods and Men in Egypt
Kemp, B., Ancient Egypt: Anatomy of a Civilization
Bard, K., An Introduction to the Archaeology of Ancient Egypt
Stevenson Smith, W., The Art and Architecture of Ancient Egypt
Kitchen, K. A., The Life and Times of Ramesses II, King of Egypt
Sweeney, D., Sex and Gender (in Ancient Egypt)
McDowell, A. G., Village Life in Ancient Egypt: Laundry Lists and Love Songs
Te Velde, H., Seth, God of Confusion
Guys do me a solid and reblog this version instead of continuously asking for sources on the other versions thanks
my family used to have this sort of abstract watercolour painting up in our dining room, it was there as early as i can remember, and i always hated it. one day when i was like ten my mom came up to me, and i guess handed me something but i dont remember what, and she was like “can you put this on the shelf, by the bird painting?”
and i was like “..the what?”
and she was like “the painting of the bird on the branch. can you put it there” and she pointed to the abstract painting
and i was like “how is that a bird”
and she said “well what do you think it is?”
and was like “it’s a beached whale with a giant eye, blowing blood out of its blow hole onto the legs of a guy who’s running away”
..and i guess my mom thought that was like funny or weird or something so she told my dad about it, and he immediately said “oh, you mean the reindeer painting?”
since you guys wanted to see it
Prompt list
Made a prompt list
You gotta
Pick a person/ship
Pick one or multiple prompts
Pick either fluff, angst, or smut
Pick whether it’s a ‘getting together’ story, or if it’s and ‘established relationship’ story, or if it’s a ‘breaking up story’.
And if you have anything else specific you want in it, send that as well
“Yes! I wanna play!”
“You can’t solve your problems by hiding in bed all day.”
“Okay, but first, kiss me.”
“This is going to sound cheesy but… I love when you’re half asleep and talking nonsense.”
“You know who I’m hot for?”
“I know when you’re lying.” “Yeah, how’s that?”
“I don’t like the dark.”
“Can I hold your hand?”
“Is that my hoodie?”
“I don’t like to be tickled.”
“Bite me.”
“I forgot to mention that I’m… I’m completely in love with you.”
“What are you doing in here?”
“I’m sorry. I can’t help but stare.”
“I can’t sleep when you’re not beside me.”
“You hurt me.”
“Will you make me coffee?” “What do I get if I do?”
“I can’t do that!”
“Will you stay?”
“Do you love her/him?” “Yes.”
“Turn the lights out.”
“Just go along with it, please”
“I promise I will never let anything bad happen to you.”
“God, stop doing that.” “Doing what?”
“I don’t trust myself around you.”
“All I wanted was you.”
“Do you still love me?” “I don’t know anymore.”
“Please get over me, we can’t get back together.” “How can I get over you when you’re my entire world?
“I don’t think I can do this anymore, I know I told you it was enough but it isn’t.”
“I don’t know why you get so jealous when I tell you everyday that I love you.” “I’m just scared that one day you’ll see how much better you are than me and leave me.”
“I’m so goddamn in love with you.”
“Are you leaving me?” “Do you want me to leave you?”
“Are you trying to seduce me?”
“That’s my ex. Makeout with me and make him jealous.”
“It wasn’t supposed to happen this way”
“I don’t think anyone’s ever said that to be me before”
“Spin the bottle is such a cliché. I’m in”
“You’ve never seen Harry Potter”
“Can we just lie here for a moment”
“We have to stop running in to each other like this”
“I know it’s 2am but can we meet up”
“I don’t know how we ended up sleeping together, but I know I’m mad about it”
“Whatever you do, just don’t tell anyone”
“I don’t come here often, it brings back unwanted memories”
“They told me I’d forget about you; that I’d move on but it’s been three years and here I am”
“I’ve waited to so long for this moment, but now it’s here and I don’t know how to feel”
“You can’t just say that and disappear!”
“I don’t want to be your partner either, but we have to get this assignment done.”
“I’ve never hated you, you just make me feel things I don’t understand.”
“It’s your fault and I don’t think this is something you can fix.”
“This isn’t easy for me either”
“I would never do this to you if I didn’t have to. You know that right?”
“Can you at least promise me that” “I don’t think I can, not this time”
“I’m sorry but it’s very hard to focus when you’re dressed like that”
“On a scale of 1 to 10, how hard you want me to hit you”
“I’d be scared if I were you”
“You can’t go in there alone”
“You didn’t go through my photos did you?”
“I really want to kiss you right now. I know I shouldn’t, and somehow that makes me want it more”
“I’ll give you fifty bucks if I can take you to Christmas dinner and tell my family we’re together. They always ask if I’m dating and I can’t have that conversation again”
“Fuck you” “Not with that attitude”
“You know my house has a door?” You don’t always have to use the window”
“The truth is, my friends dared me to ask you out, but I’m really glad they did”
“I didn’t realise it meant so much to you”
“I wish I was sorry, but I don’t regret any of it”
“I could lie here with you forever. I wish I didn’t have to leave”
“Everything’s changing an I hate it” I liked the way things were”
“You look so incredible, if that didn’t look so good on you I’d properly tear it off”
“Do you think they notice we left?”
“The funny thing is, you could have fixed this and you didn’t even try”
“Are you staring at me or are you staring past me”
“If you were a guy/girl would you go out with me?” “I am a guy/girl”
“Can we tell my parents that I’m at your house, just in case they get suspicious”
“It’s just a blind date! What’s the worst that could happen?” “I could literally die”
“I had a really weird sex dream about you and I’m not sure how I feel about it, honestly.”
“All I know is that if you don’t tell me to stop I’m going to kiss you.”
“I’m not sure when it happened, but I fell in love with you, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done”
“We always share blankets on the couch, I’m sure sharing the bed for the night is fine too.”
“Your lips are getting really close to mine.”
“I’m not jealous, but, like, come on, movie night is just for me and you only.”
“You’ve been pouting ever since I went out on that date, what’s up?”
“You can share my jacket with me, since you’re shivering.”
“Shit, how’d you make me blush like this?”
“Are you trying to turn me on?”
“Let’s hang out, but I’ll pay for everything, and we can go to this fancy restaurant– No, not a date.”
“Okay, I guess this is a date, actually.”
“Stop with the tongue thing, it’s strangely attractive.”
“I keep telling them we’re not dating, but they keep telling me friends don’t normally make out when drunk.”
“When did you get so beautiful?”
“If you’re going to dress like that, I’m not going to let you out of my sight.”
“I accidentally called you my girlfriend/boyfriend today.”
“I had this dream where we were dating.”
“Why do you always call me when I’m on a date?”
“Okay, maybe I am a bit jealous
“It’s weird how we’ve been friends for so long, but never went through that ‘crushing’ phase.”
“I say this a lot, but, look, they’re not good enough for you.”
“You know this voucher only works for couples, right?”
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Right… Well… I’m not sure how we ended up kissing like that…”
“We would make a pretty good couple.”
“How come I always end up calling you when I can’t fall asleep?”
“You can share my jacket with me, since you’re shivering.”
“You’ve been pouting ever since I went out on that date, what’s up?”
“We always share blankets on the couch, I’m sure sharing the bed for the night is fine too.”
Google doodles to celebrate the birthday of Steve Irwin (22 February 1962 – 4 September 2006)
So my friend’s kid has celiac and dyslexia and reading labels is difficult for them (also they’re like 7) so he’s teaching their pigeon, Grey Boy, to read the labels and identify ingredients with gluten. It’s going well, other than Nick thought it would be a good idea to make the behavior when the pigeon does find a bad ingredient to just fucking…wing slap the box. Just beat the shit out of it like, “no! BAD gluten! BAD!”
@tinysaurus-rex I drew an artist’s interpretation of Grey Boy the pigeon pummeling a box of cheesy snacks into dust for Gluten Crimes. Pigeons have buff arms and big fists, right? Yeah, that sounds correct. Totally.
This is beautiful.
Have A Nice Day!
rb to 今日はhave a nice day
This post radiates positive energy
HAVE A NICE DAY
ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
ᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡ
ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
ᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡᕦ( ᐕ )ᕡ
Gotta reblog again
Go have a nice day everyone ☀️
hungry bird
hey what the fuck is this pigeon/turkey hybrid
kim says this seems to be norway, and I gotta say I’m not really surprised lol
And it’s a western capercallie.
@lotsandlotsofbirds
Image credits: Miles Herbert/Caters News
“Ah, Perry the platypus!”
“What an unexpected -“
“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!”
“You’re trapped!”
“By societal convention!”
“Look! We’re in a fine dining environment. Everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant!”
“That’s right. You’re trapped. Sit down.”
This show is fucking brilliant.
did everyone else read that in his voice
Ostriches stuck on spin cycle at the San Diego Zoo Safari Park
What does it mean…
Burnout, 2018.
Three years ago, my constantly worsening sleep deprivation and stress resulted in a burnout. I’m 30 years old now, at the time of posting this comic, and I still haven’t recovered fully. I still have the heart symptoms - even the smallest amount of stress brings the symptoms back. It’s likely I will never recover enough to work a fulltime job again and I can’t go back to high-stress environments like customer service. But that’s alright. I am more than just my work. I’m slowly learning to be merciful towards myself and to show myself the same kindness I show others, and I think that’s very important.
This is my story and I won’t be ashamed any more.
I needed this. Especially the percentage part. As someone who compares myself to others a lot, I really needed that.
Your best is yours, not anyone else’s
Just to emphasize
You’re doing amazing, all of you guys are. I believe in you all, and I’m proud.
Keep going, you got this
I’ve been out of high school for seven years, can someone tell me what exactly teachers are telling their students nowadays that we’ve got so many kids out here in favour of communism. an ideology that has only ever led to systematic evil and millions of deaths every time it’s been attempted
how are we so detached from a generation that is literally still alive to tell us exactly what it was like to grow up under communism. how oppressive it was, how bleak their childhoods were, how often they had to go hungry, how very little freedom of choice they had because their governments dictated what they could own and when and where and how
communism in practice, on a mass scale, has never, ever worked. if you think “we’re the ones who are gonna get it right this time!” you’re fooling yourself. that’s what everyone else thought before trying; it does not work. it is not sustainable.
the point of learning history is to not repeat it.
#you wanna love your neighbour? #in your day to day life? #do it!! love your neighbours as freely as you can to the best of your ability #but you cannot force people en masse into “loving their neighbours” exactly the way you want them to #that’s called a human rights violation