Just Keep Swimming @maddie695 - Tumblr Blog

bikinibottomtwitter

Student loans(via)

maxhole-deactivated20130822

catasters

ke-ray92-deactivated20201217

Before January ends, I’m going to magically and extremely be blessed by the universe.

introvertbard

not gonna risk scrolling past this

whitepeopletwitter

When one of your customers spanks your ass

surprisebitch

i thought it was about working in retail omg

cosmic-noir

Definitely also retail lmao

lebritanyamor-deactivated202601

LMFAOOOO omg I thought it was retail too

encourage

someone: haha you know when you’re in the group chat or hanging out in a group and–

me, leaning in so my lips touch the mic: I Have No Friends

c3rvida3

My boss, who is a grown woman with children my age, just whispered, “Oh, this is going to be so fucking efficient,” before spraying Febreze directly into the ceiling fan and proceeding to cough her guts out when it blew back in her face.

turtleduckdate

that phrase like, “he looked at her like she was the sun” has always confused me because most people look at the sun like this

starfleetacademy

My favorite catholic lore is that anyone can make holy water in a pinch but the church puts dumb restrictions on us like ‘do this only if someone needs their last rites’ like I WILL bless this McDonald’s sprite and I WILL enjoy the crispiness of our lord and savior

subrosa-shit-deactivated2024091

Another bit is that holy water cannot be diluted. When I went to the Vatican the tour guide was explaining this, if you put any amount of holy water into any amount of normal water, the whole bunch becomes holy. This is how they sell Pope Holy Water in the gift shop. This is how I've been drinking only holy water for two months now. I am immune to demons.

meglyman

Homeopathic holy

kaijutegu

It’s not actually any amount of holy water- according to the Church, the water has to be more than half holy water by volume. So if you take a half gallon+a few drops of holy water and a half gallon of secular water, you get one gallon of holy water, plus a few drops. You can then add a gallon of secular water to that and then you have two gallons of holy water. We’ve got a couple jugs of Pope Water in the linen closet at my parents’ house, because my mom used the heck out of this loophole after a trip to Italy in 2008. It was more than a decade ago at this point and we still have Pope Water. We no longer have that Pope, but by god do we have his water.

kaijutegu

Here’s what a jug of Pope water looks like. Mom measured a fill line on them so that we never accidentally run out and just have old jugs of secular water lying around.