Maelstrom

Mael / 99 liner / writer, English BA survivor, local insomniac, find me on Ao3 https://archiveofourown.org/users/maelstromdeparture

[maelstromdeparture]

it seems like i should not have to do this but here we go

Do not write fics inspired by, based off, or otherwise connected to my fics without explicit permission to do so. If you have permission, do not gift it to me. If you have permission then put it under the inspired by section.

Do NOT claim that it is in addition to or otherwise a part of my series. If you see fics that are clearly inspired by or based off my fics and they are NOT written by me they are NOT part of my AUs, fics, or series in anyway. Any fics that are written by someone else and considered part of my series will be incredibly rare and will be linked by me to the AU they are part of stating that they are part of the series and can be considered as such.

[remanence-of-love]

[wooyos]

[ivan-fyodorovich-k]

I wish to purchase goods and services without entering a blood covenant that entitles the provider to email and text me forever and also store a bunch of my personal data that they’re going to apologize for exposing in a breach in the next five to ten years

[anthraxofeffervescence]

The core conceit of Lord of the Rings is pretty funny. You are a twenty three year old in a suburb of Maine. The little bracelet in your grandpa’s attic has an inscription on it that is the password to the world’s entire nuclear arsenal. It is up to you to walk to the only hydraulic press in the world, located in Arizona, before the FBI finds the bracelet, kills you, and enslaves the suburb of Maine you currently live in

[anthraxofeffervescence]

Also the 90-year old hobo that your grandpa beat in a rap battle for possession of the bracelet while hiding from the Romanian secret police really loved the bracelet because it was coated in small amounts of LSD and tried to hunt and kill your grandpa to get it back. He was then apprehended by the FBI and instantly gave them your grandpa’s address. Seal Team Six is about to break down your door and shoot you, says your local congressman who can also do cool magic tricks

[bloodyraven1001]

There's a guy in NY who MIGHT be capable of destroying the codes but won't coz he simply wants to spend time with his wife. So it's up to your grandpa's old friend in rural Ohio to get you the friends capable of finishing the task.

[ariaste]

And we must not, at any point, remember the existence of aircraft and ask aloud why we can't just fly to Arizona

[crazy-pages]

The aircraft are all under the command of the Australian government, which has declared that the nuclear arsenals are not their problem and that no aircraft will help anyone out with that problem. Your grandfather did fly with the bracelet one time, but he only got away with that because no one involved knew what the bracelet was and it would have been a huge deal if anyone had realized what was up. If you charter a flight towards the world's only hydraulic press, the Australians will know and throw lightning at the plane.

[earhartsease]

also your husband is a landscape architect

[sugar-petals]

director: so what do you want for your music video

ATEEZ: idk give us the cowboy dancer latin romance street food wedding chili pepper tarot psychic flash mob silk suit cinematic bald cap court drama

director: anything else

ATEEZ: yeosang gets to flirt

[liberalsarecool]

Cosign.

[hooveringthemotherland]

One of the biggest issues of moving to England as a person who is Ukrainian AND neurodivergent is not knowing how to answer the small talk question of "how are you", but today I was reminded that Ukrainian blessed me with the phrase that roughly translates as "living is hard but dying would be a pity" and can we please naturalise it so I can use it all day every day

[rainintheevening]

Living is hard, but dying would be a pity.

[kookaburrito]

Literally have this hanging in my house

[cunobaros]

As a Swede who moved to the UK at the end of the previous millennium, I found I needed an acceptable substitute for "jämna plågor" (consistent/continuous suffering/pains), and settled on "Plodding on".

Had I known about "Living is hard but dying would be a pity" I would have used that instead.

[mortallycrispygardener]

[shiftingbonesofapoltergeist-dea]

I'm sorry WHAT

[smallerontheoutside]

'lazy people don't feel guilty about not doing anything' is insane to me and I have been trying to make my brain believe it for a long time, it shocked me to my core when I first heard it

[astropithecus]

An important corollary to "if you were faking your mental illness, you could stop whenever you wanted."

[runestonedragon]

[Image ID: Post from @/scretladyspider on another website reading: recently read "if you were lazy you'd be having fun" and it has completely shifted my perspective on my own executive dysfunction and ADHD /End ID]

[curoopeez]

I don't want my cellphone to have AI I want it to have 3 days of battery time. I don't want my computer to have AI preinstalled I want it to have seven usb ports and high ram at affordable price. I don't want my games to have AI built levels I want them to be so optimized I could run them on a nokia.

[helenvaughans]

[itsmistybitch-deactivated202605]

These posts are sisters

[lierdumoa]

[valtsv]

parents love giving you job hunting advice that's like Have you tried destroying and betraying yourself for nothing

[the-forest-library]

kill the imposter syndrome in your head because not only is there someone out there doing it worse than you, they’re also using chat gpt to do it

[snowkissedmonsters]

Also on age verification: I have been on this website since 2011. Unless you think I started blogging at age 2, you KNOW I'm an adult.

[dreamerinsilico]

#the fact that 'can prove access to an online account at least 12 years old' or even 'account to be verified is itself fully 18 years old'#AREN'T accepted methods of age verification is such a telling sign of what the real purpose of age-gating laws is:#data harvesting and deanonymization and the buildout of state-controllable ways to restrict both content and internet access itself en masse (via @shinelikethunder )

⬆️

[animentality]

[hydrachea]

> turns on my computer

> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default

> opens my email

> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default

> launches a software

> disables a new AI fea

[mysweetoddbird]

sorry but once you notice how often ppl use a southern accent as shorthand for being unintelligent you can never unsee it. classism is baked so deeply and why are you acting like anyone who talks the way my grandfather talks is stupid.