sir hes my emotional support little meow meow

name's L | they/them | 22

[smokinghorse]

just had a really good mango it was so good that i had to illustrate how it made me feel afterwards.

[caststrat]

op’s tags are so fucking important to me

[enjoylentgreen]

[homunculus-argument]

I think it would be funny to write a murder mystery where not only did every single character involved have an obvious motive to kill this mf, they were actually all attempting to murder him first, but the murder attempts all cancelled each other out all except for one. Two people tried to poison him but the poisons just happen to work as antidotes for each other, and instead of killing him only gave him the shits, and due to having the shits he couldn't go hunting that day like he had planned, foiling the plans of the one who had conditioned his favourite hunting horse to panic and bolt at the cue of a whistle, and the other murder attempt of tampering with his gun so that it would have exploded his whole face off.

The whole mystery isn't about who could have done it or how, but who was the one who got lucky and actually succeeded.

[terriwriting]

Sherlock Holmes and The Case of Perhaps We'd Best Leave This One Alone, Watson. There Appears To Be An Excess Of Armed Maniacs In The Vicinity.

[copperbadge]

When I was in high school a friend of mine would host murder mystery dinners once or twice a year. They were the kind you could buy as a kit -- I don't even know if they exist anymore -- and everyone was assigned (or chose) a character, then received a booklet of clues to share. The idea was to spend an evening in a one-shot LARP designed like an Agatha Christie novel.

I was a year above most of them at school so they threw a "goodbye" murder mystery for me just before graduation, and about 2/3 of the way through the game we all realized that everyone had at least attempted to kill the victim. The game then shifted from "whodunnit" to "who succeeded in dunninit" which we all felt was not only super fun but above the usual level of narrative complexity for those games.

After we solved it, we discovered that the game wasn't from a kit -- the host had written it herself and meticulously printed out the booklets in replica style of the kits. It was the best going-away party I think I could possibly have had.

[fagstaynight]

is it culturally appropriate to say “here comes the airplane” to your baby if you had twins

[miniaturize]

the concept of a site that doesn't even allow porn requiring age verification for mature content. you gotta give us your legal id or else we'll hide random posts that were incorrectly flagged from you

[sirguyofnothing]

how are you a lesbian but he him

please... the pronouns is all i have left of my father

[wormsdyke]

it would be so nice if you were allowed to start working on projects before you hit the 12 hour until deadline mark but sadly it’s not possible with our current technology. scientists are hard at work but for now this is one of the limitations we must face as a people

[coldbrewpup]

i get knocked up

but i abort again

i'll never carry it to term

[mag-agenttorture]

PLEASE use contraceptives if you don't intend to bear children

[coldbrewpup]

i'm getting knocked up again Tonight

[mag-agenttorture]

Stop killing babies.

[coldbrewpup]

which part of my bio are you struggling with? it's okay, take your time

[calamity-corner]

holy fuck this was such a classic i forgot about this lmaooo

[unpeeled-human]

idk if anyone else has seen the surge of memes making fun of cave divers recently. there was a comment on one that was like "cave divers with 4 kids, 2 degrees, a loving wife and a huge house when they learn that Satan's Sphincter has a 0% survival rate" it had me crying laughing

[library-bat-girl-deactivated202]

You'd think "oh, well they're rich dipshits with no training who pulled a Stockton Rush, IE: did something everyone told them not to and then died" but nope, 90% of cave diving stories are like "Johnny Wetsuit had 5000 hours diving experience, a doctorate in Cave Diveology from the most prestigious university in the world, was trained to swim by literal navy seals, was part dolphin and had the power of echo-location, God himself contacted him to let him know the conditions in Drowning Idiot Cave were going to be perfectly safe for cave diving, so he went Cave Diving, made one tiny mistake, and then he got stuck and drowned to death."

[liiionhearted]

ok but there’s a reason cave diving signs go so hard

[beardedmrbean]

My brother used to do SCUBA stuff and apparently there's spots in places like Lake Tahoe where there's just bodies that haven't been recovered because the people that could go and get them know better than to go diving in the parts of the lake where the bodies are.

[mama-germany]

I feel like the ‘Satan’s Asshole Cave’ meme is a bit of a misnomer though because half of these places are named. Nutty Putty. Darby Canyon. Wookey Hole.

It’s more like; Loopty Doopty Cavern, where 18 out of 25 known explorers had to have their bodies dragged out over excruciating 28 hour long recovery missions

[unhelpfultarot]

Two of Swords and Wheel of Fortune

Never mind, you don't want to know what's going on.

[lornaka]

Bleeding hope and bleeding gold. Finished just in time for @gondorweek! now a complete diptych (INPRNT) ↬

[evilsanlang]

the nature of the internet is such that every 3 months we have to remind everyone that straight women do, in fact, oppress lesbians, and not the other way around

[steveyockey]

aftercare but for your job

[naranjapetrificada]

Me when Gale started talking about Tav's suprise introduction to his cat, although he had hoped for them to meet back in Waterdeep over a meal he'd cooked for them himself according to his mother's recipe, who by implication he'd also like Tav to meet

This is so embarrassing.

[kermitspussy]

like where did it come from i was literally doing a silly little art and craft

[mothermara]

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

[flikkerij]

i will do ANYTHING but work on my essay apparently

[semutamusic]

[mark-gently]

NDA stands for Non't Dalk Aboutit