Malatrix LeStrange's blog of nonsense

[mangonetics]

I thought we were good as gravy, but you just wanted to get your pey wet

[thoodleoo]

really love this ancient letter from a kid named theon to his dad (p. ox. 1 119) because it's so ridiculously salty and rude ("WOW dad it was SO COOL of you NOT to take me to alexandria with you"), incredibly demanding ("bring me with you or i'm going to stop eating and drinking and i'll never speak to you again") and then ends with the appropriately polite typical close to a letter ("i pray that you are in good health"). truly exactly what i would expect from a moody child.

[skeletalheartattack]

me dropping the urn that holds my grandmas ashes off the balcony of the top floor

[skeletalheartattack]

me finding out my grandma's urn was made of rubber as it bounces back up to the top floor

[thevisualvamp]

Gone fishing

[guitarluvr]

[omegasomeone]

@miata-detector

[miata-detector]

ouu the miaba play frch run around jumpjumpjump! welll unless itsnot a miatacause they dont know how to bite things cause they're too sweetypie hmm

[aflo]

I'm imagining a world where RPGMaker somehow made it as the de facto codebase for software and you have to navigate your banking app by walking around in a huge room full of NPCs named "make deposit" and "make withdrawal" etc and there's loud as fuck stock music playing

[aflo]

[kaylmao]

[decompose1]

real exchange i overheard between two of my bosses. ????

[decompose1]

why is this getting notes again everyone STOP talking about white collar & rich guy shit i am a BLUE COLLAR DYKE!!!! THIS IS A JANITORIAL COMPANY!!!! i will NOT let you make this about white collar businessmen the poors are funny too ok

[beatrice-of-the-stars]

This shit reads like a tumblr post

[vermilionstarlight]

the beach that. makes you dead

[tastylemonbread]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

[ashubii]

This is why I have TikTok

[goodgirl-inc]

[goodgirl-inc]

nevermind post cancelled he's dead again

[zeitghost]

[socialistexan]

French-Iranian author Marjane Satrapi, author of 'Persepolis', dies of 'sadness' at 56

French-Iranian author and illustrator Marjane Satrapi, best known for the book and film “Persopolis”, has died of "sadness", members of her

This one hurt, her work had such a profound effect on my life, thoughts, and politics.

May her memory be a blessing

[prideprejudce]

so today a public health official guy came into my class to give a lecture on disaster awareness and he was talking about house fires and mentioned that the reason people most likely die during a house fire is because they refuse to leave their pet inside or they go back to get their pet. and right when he said this my friend immediately turned his head and looked at me and in that moment I had the most complete and genuine acceptance take over my body. I would 100% in front of my family and Jesus himself walk straight back into some raging inferno that was once my house to go get my fat cat. I nodded back

[prideprejudce]

the best part of this post is reading all the tags from animal people who would also go back to save their pets. like no hesitation. walk backwards from heaven straight back into hell. someone even said they would go back for their fish. amazing

[sterna-hirundo]

If you are a person who would walk into a blazing inferno for your animal, and your pet has free movement around the house, here’s a training exercise that could help save you both:

1) Set off your smoke alarm or play the sound on your phone (if your home has no smoke alarms, pease get some!)

2) stand BY THE FRONT DOOR to hand out treats

Do this a couple times and then keep it up NO EXCEPTIONS. Accidentally set the alarm off cooking? Treats by the door. Smoke alarm sound on TV? Treats by the door. Changing your smoke alarm batteries twice a year like you’re supposed to? Give them a test run and your pets get treats by the door.

Most dogs and cats will clue in VERY quickly that hearing that specific sound means go to the front door and wait for treats.

If there’s an emergency and even if you leave by another way, you will still know the most likely place your pet(s) is and can direct first responders to help.

You can also do this for any other kind of emergency alarm. My friend had both her cats trained to go to the front door for a tsunami siren.

[orteil42]

given the current climate this pride especially i feel i must mention that i love my trans friends, i stand with trans people in the fight against transphobic legislation and those who would enforce it, and this blog is not a good place for you to be if you do not vibe with that

[irish-american-chan]

The Summertime Is A Little Different From The Normaltime

[irish-american-chan]

Did You Know Clovers Theyre Doing This Kind Of Thing Nowadays