The most random things like fandom stuff, social justice, puns, memes and linguistics. I love asks! (but rarely answer) Jewish | lesbian oriented aroace |late 20's | She/Her or They/Them pronouns. terfs and exclusionists don't interact
to people who are me I do think if eddie actually came out to buck, buck would make a move. not immediately, like i'd give him 2-5 business days of spiraling, but i do think buck isn't the type to sit around and pine when he knows there's a chance, and he's emotionally intelligent enough to know that there IS a chance here. if anything i think the main spiral isn't 'do I ask him out' so much as it's 'how do i ask him out in the bestest most worthy way possible.'
the first thought that buck has when eddie comes out to him is: i have to tell him.
the second is: wait, what?
which is how the third thought that buck has upon his best friend exposing a vulnerable part of himself to buck is the suddenly thuddingly obvious fact that he is, in fact, in love with eddie.
"buck?" eddie says, effectively interrupting his fourth thought ('oh, fuck.'). his eyes are big and brown and vulnerable. buck shoves the thoughts to the back of his mind. there are more important things to deal with right now.
"oh, eddie," he says, pulling eddie into a hug. eddie melts against him, all warmth. buck's stupid, recently oblivious heart thuds. "thanks for telling me, man."
eddie sniffles a little into his chest. buck tells himself strictly: you will not make this weird.
---
buck makes things weird.
the thing is, buck knows now, right? the barrier between the part of buck that is in love with his best friend and the part of buck that is maintaining his perfectly platonic relationship with his best friend has officially shattered, good job, gang, you've broken a perfectly good glass closet. now, all that's standing between buck and acting upon his feelings for his best friend is his ability not to take a leap of faith based on this knowledge.
buck, historically, has not done great at not acting on his knowledge.
to be fair to him, he tries. to be less fair, the attempts are, well--
---
"nice flowers."
buck blinks down at the bouquet in his arms. "shit," he says, eloquently.
ravi raises an eyebrow at him. "what?"
"i...bought flowers."
a slow nod. "you did," ravi says. "did you...not mean to?"
"no, i meant to." just not consciously.
"is it...for someone?"
buck, with his newfound knowledge, can now read the stupid implication in ravi's eyes, the way they dart to the station doors, where eddie thankfully has not driven in yet. buck takes a few steps forward, dumps the bouquet in ravi's arms.
"it's for the loft," he says. "spruce up the station, a little. it's looking a bit drab around here. can you put those in a vase for me?"
before ravi can reply, he runs to the locker room. as he does, he can hear ravi's voice muttering: "what vase?"
later, as eddie comes up the staircase: "ooh, are those irises? i love irises."
ravi stares at buck. buck does not stare back.
---
"huh," eddie says, looking around. "they gave us a nice table."
buck winces. the reservation confirmation text burns a hole in his pants pocket.
"ha ha, yeah, what a nice coincidence," buck says, as if he didn't put 'window seat, nice view, good for a first date' in the request section when he was making the reservation. he thinks he blacked out a little.
a server comes over, and buck reflexively orders both of their favorites, and the exact menu items that made him think of eddie when he saw the place online. eddie raises an eyebrow at him. buck coughs.
"did your research, huh, bud?"
"uh, yeah," buck says. is he sweating? he's sweating. fuck. fuck. abort. "did you know that axolotls ingest small stones to break down their food?"
a beat. then eddie smiles his indulgent smile, and buck thanks every deity and also bobby for his longstanding and totally unsuspicious tendency to bring up random facts at inopportune times.
at the end of the night, buck pays the bill. he tries not to think about his credit score.
---
the third time is when the jig, as they say, is up.
it's stupidly normal, is the thing. buck and eddie are sitting on the couch together, chris asleep in buck's guest room that he insists is not secretly just christopher's room wearing a fake mustache. there's a basketball game playing on tv, which means that buck is not at his best, cognitively speaking.
he blames this for what happens when eddie, perfectly oblivious and beautiful and on buck's couch, says: "hey buck, can you get me another beer?"
and buck, without thinking, says: "sure, babe."
the room pauses. some guy throws a ball to another guy on the television screen. eddie, uncharacteristically, is not looking at the sweaty men run into each other. he's looking at buck.
buck, who's mouth keeps running without his permission.
"bbbbbbbest friend. i meant best friend. my best friend eddie. my. my cool bud. my totally normal--"
"buck?"
eddie's voice is soft, and when buck takes a break from word-vomiting to look at him, his eyes are big and brown and awed, shining. buck's heart thumps again. okay. fuck. fine.
"i was gonna ease you into it," buck complains, throwing his head back.
eddie's mouth twitches a little. his eyes are so, so bright. "into...babe territory?"
"into-- you know, eddie," buck pouts at him, and eddie actually giggles.
"i don't know that i do, babe," eddie beams at him. "it looks like you're trying to backdoor me into a relationship, buck."
buck splutters. "i'm-- that's-- i'm doing the opposite of that! i'm front-dooring you! i was-- i was trying to wait a reasonable amount of time before asking you out on a date! it's rude if i just--"
"reserved one of the hottest restaurants in LA and got us date night seats without telling me?" eddie finishes, teasing.
"that was an accident."
eddie snorts, and it is unfortunately very charming. "you asked me out by accident?"
buck flaps his hands helplessly. "i was trying to be normal! but-- i just-- i can't help it!" he insists. "what-- am i supposed to just-- know that you're an option, and just-- not go for it? do you know me?"
that makes eddie laugh fully, head tilted back, hair falling loose over his forehead. buck sways into his orbit, caught the way he always is. eddie tugs at the hem of his shirt, and buck pouts as he crawls over eddie, knees bracketing his hips.
"i do you know, baby," eddie says, all warmth. "which is why i was hoping you'd make the first move."
buck's mouth falls open. "you--" he accuses. "you manipulator."
eddie shrugs. "you're the one who takes the leap," he says, cupping buck's face. it is, unfortunately, impossible to stay mad at eddie ever, let alone when he's holding buck. "i'm the one that has your back, remember?"
buck blinks rapidly. "fuck," he says. "i love you so much." immediately after, he exhales. "oh my god. you have no idea how much of a relief it is to finally say it. i thought i was gonna explode."
eddie giggles, drags him in for a kiss. "thank you for trying your best, sweetheart," he says, pressing his smiling mouth to buck's jaw. "you're a very nice boyfriend."
buck hums with satisfaction. "i am, aren't i?"
"even when you refuse to actually let me know that you're being my boyfriend."
wait. what do y'all set your home AC to? 78° F is our normal (and local officials exhort people to set it there regularly). if there are potential grid issues we raise it to 80°
see this person is the love of my life I would follow them anywhere every day is brighter for having them in it. and THIS bastard shares a soul with me we'll find each other in every universe and understand each other in ways no other living being could. neither of us are particularly thrilled about this
"omg i LOVE it when love between characters is so strong it overrides the boundaries of flesh and selfhood, merging them into some sort of (un)holy chimera" — person who's uncomfortable with the idea of permanently sharing a bedroom with someone else
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