Quiet, Please

Eh, have some stuff Header image credit: cantkillus@deviant art

[pointnclick]

my man whimpers and scampers

[ghoul-fuel]

well my guy shrieks and skitters

[pointnclick]

we should set up a playdate

[stereofeathers]

What I expected moving to texas: oh hm, cowboy boot... steak..,? the ole' prairie. youve been invited to,come lasso a tumbleweed,! 'howdy there sherriff' as a tramp stamp tattoo. Sweet teA hp potion... country girls make do

What I got when I moved to texas: i cant really leave the house bc theres about 20-30 of these big blue crabs that came up from their underground tunnels bc of the wet and rainy weather all standing on the patio having a fucking clawnference meeting

[gonanatop]

Texas:*spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spawns crab* *spa

[kentuckyfriedfungus]

[femgirlfriend-moved]

[dalniente]

[kyoshi]

actually I was curious so I looked further into it and he's not okay and he's gone now

[keybladebanditjing]

???? He's fine. He even uploaded another video explaining this one. bob.reese on tiktok

[kyoshi]

he's not fine he's gone

[theocseason4]

[lennythereviewer]

[greeds]

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

NFTs are essential oil pyramid schemes for men. no I will not elaborate

[tonysopranobignaturals-deactiva]

glad we all agree no elaboration is necessary <3

[foulserpent]

when i die i want my dead body dumped from a helicopter into disneyland on the busiest day of the year

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[genvy]

men will literally

[coughloop]

Pussy so good it got me feeling car sick

[unclefather]

pussy so good i am putting my arms up and screaming like i’m on a roller coaster

[oe6]

[unclefather]

don’t even want to be alive anymore

[angrystarwarsnerd]

[plum-soup]

Bus drivers who see you running and open their hole are better public servants than any cop.

[one-venti-neurosis]

their what now?

[confusedbyinterface]

[redchrominance]

their ‘bussy’ you might say

[sugarcoatednightshade]

i might not.

[atombombtom]

tell me something about yourself

so this might be tmi but the first time i jacked off it was like 2005? I was playing the sims 2 for the first time and i didn’t know anything about Gay but i made my male sim kiss don lothario, which i didn’t think would work. i then googled “2 sims kissing (boys)” and that led me down a rabbit hole (lol sims 3 reference there), and yeah, ya know, I did the self-woohoo. that same night there was an oprah re-run about teenage pregnancy and i was horrified. oh my god, i was convinced i was pregnant, nevermind that i am a little cis gay boy with no uterus. nevermind that i was a virgin. i was CERTAIN I was pregnant. Like, 900%. I had done the nasty and had become filled with my own vile seed. I started getting really self-conscious about my belly expanding. I didn’t want to google anything about masturbation leading to pregnancy out of fear it would confirm all my worst fears. My male sim got abducted by aliens and came back with morning sickness. He gave birth to twin aliens. that confirmed it in my mind that it was biological possible for men to carry children, perhaps even their own.. what was i going to tell my parents when i gave birth to myself? anyway I went to the doctor with a cold and he asked me what was wrong and i told him i was pregnant and he pissed himself laughing. this whole ordeal lasted about 5 months, but the lasting effect will probably follow me to the grave.

[atombombtom]

[kim-kartrashcan]

anon is a COWARD. please tell us more op.

[queenincrimson]

SLEEPY HOLLOW (1999) - dir. Tim Burton

[jennyhoelzer-deactivated2016120]

[mayordog-deactivated20160926]

please you’re killing it put it back in the water