To George, the First Space Monkey

Hi, I'm Allie! I like lipstick, microorganisms, and the Boston Bruins. NSFW-ish, sometimes.

[dewberrys-sillyblog]

god the horrible urge to vague post is eating me alive but i must

[dewberrys-sillyblog]

someone wronged me once

[elodieunderglass]

My mother-in-law: now listen children - the birds will go quiet as the eclipse goes on

The eclipse: (goes on)

The birds: (go quiet)

One (1) Woodpigeon, continuously: HOOOO HOOOOO HOO. HU HOOOOO HU

[doccyuk]

(translated from Wood Pigeon): "You see, children, all the other birds have gone quiet as the eclipse goes on..."

[prokopetz]

I have to confess every time I see that "they fucked that old man to pieces" meme there's a very particular old man I'm picturing:

[prokopetz]

Context for those who haven't seen the film:

[prokopetz]

#i watched this. why don't i remember this part. what the fuck (via @secondhand-lions)

Anastasia (1997) has a pretty weird narrative structure in that, while Zombie Rasputin is critical to the film's prologue and climax, he's almost entirely immaterial to its actual plot. The audience knows about him, but none of the major characters do, including Anastasia herself, and all of his attempts to assassinate her either fizzle before she becomes aware of them or fail in ways that can be attributed to mundane agents. From the perspective of literally everyone with a speaking role other than the bat, he pops out of nowhere in the last five minutes of the film and starts trying to kill everyone with wizard bullshit, then promptly explodes.

(The stage musical adaptation actually leaves him out entirely, which was a controversial choice in certain circles, but basically doesn't affect the story at all.)

[prokopetz]

#negaverse experience: #first exposure to this movie was. I believe. on a tiny silent tv up in the corner of a kids shoe store. #this song was the entirety of my time kicking my heels waiting for my turn. #didn’t see the rest of it for many years. #was pretty weird to realize that the experience of this guy doesn’t really change much #when you watch the whole movie #anastasia #allocation of screen time was not don bluths best strength I don’t think (via @themountedperfumier)

One at times receives the impression that Don Bluth is as surprised as everyone else to discover how his films end.

[silvermoon424]

Bro absolutely COOKED with this.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

If you ever hear the phrase "fascism is aesthetics as politics," that's what this post is talking about.

It's not about being tough on crime, because the absolute toughest most brutal measure you could take against "crime" as a social problem is to alleviate poverty, and increase access to education, healthcare and social mobility.

It's about performing "tough on crime" as an aesthetic by enacting violence against a prop, i.e. minorities and the impoverished, who are fetishized and objectified to represent "crime." They are brutalized as punishment for crime, but never with the purpose of alleviating the problem of crime.

This is why a lot of conservatives and other right wingers can get straight up angry when you suggest things like reform or social measures to reduce crime. They don't want crime to be reduced, they want an eternal war against "crime" because it provides an arena for the righteous to demonstrate virtue by brutalizing their enemies.

[prokopetz]

The corollary of needing to be willing to frame arguments in terms of moral precepts you don't necessarily share is needing to be aware of subtext. Yes, it's easy to get a certain stripe of hyper-conservative folks to agree with anything you please by framing it in terms of opposition to Big Government, but a large part of that is because when you say "Big Government", what they hear is "Jews". You didn't hack their brain with magic words, you just didn't realise what you were saying!

[horrorlesbians]

after you read the poem “the woman dies” a lot of media makes you mad

[horrorlesbians]

Excerpts from The Woman Dies by Aoko Matsuda

[real-language-facts]

trying to write a horror piece give me the first line go

My name is Mr. Scary Teeth and I've murder'd a great many humans using my teeth.

[homunculus-argument]

"You only get one family" is true, but not in the way that people who like to say that think it is. You only get one family, the first one is free. If that one sucks or it's just not a good match, you can get a new one but you're gonna have to find that one yourself.

[bird-gifs-collection-agency]

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDD HOLY SHIT THEYR'E ESCAPING OH MY GOD THERE'S SO MANY AHGHHHHHHHHHHHH AGGGFFFGGGUCKKKK woah they are rehoming a man as well .

[prokopetz]

Let’s see what the old Steam recommendation queue thinks it’s going to sell me today.

[prokopetz]

Insightful as always.

[prokopetz]

Lily is Girls with the Ability

They Fight Again

This is a game about girls with the ability. You will take on the role of a girl with the ability, and explore the fundamental tension of being a girl with the ability.

Character Creation

You are a girl with the ability.

Choose a Number. Your Number must be in the range from 2 to 5, inclusive.

A low Number means that you’re better at solving problems with girl. A high Number means that you’re better at solving problems with the ability.

Decide what kind of girl you are, and give her a name.

After all players have created their girls, collectively decide on the nature of the ability.

Playing the Game

When you encounter adversity, decide which of the following approaches you intend to use to overcome it:

girl

the ability

Pick up one six-sided die (d6), plus an extra die for each of the following conditions:

You’re prepared

You’re an expert

You have help (see below)

Roll your dice, and compare them to your Number:

If you’re relying on girl as your approach, dice that roll over your Number are successes

If you’re relying on the ability, dice that roll under your Number are successes

0 successes: It all goes wrong somehow, and things get worse. 1 success: You get what you want, at a cost. 2 successes: You pull it off without a hitch. 3+ successes: You do it and get an extra benefit!

If any of your dice roll your Number exactly, you momentarily achieve a perfect synthesis of girl and the ability. Describe one thing that changes about the current situation as a result of your new insight; whatever you describe is true, regardless of whether your roll succeeded or failed. Afterwards, you may adjust your Number by one point in either direction, if you wish; the same minimum and maximum values that applied during character creation apply here.

Helping

If you want to help someone, describe how you’re helping and roll for it. If the person you’re helping is a player character, and you scored at least one success, they count has having help on their next roll.

License

Lily is Girls with the Ability is based on Lasers & Feelings by John Harper, and is licensed under CC BY 4.0.

[venerabledreadnought]

The rules never described when they fight again

[prokopetz]

Why You Fight Again

Roll 1d6 on each of the following tables in order to determine why you fight again:

A(n)…

Institution that morally opposes the use of the ability

Conspiracy dedicated to suppressing knowledge of the ability

Powerful individual obsessed with understanding the ability

Monster which can only be opposed by means of the ability

Cosmic force whose nature is antithetical to the ability

Coalition of rival girls with the ability

… seeks to…

Destroy / Corrupt

Seize / Imprison

Conquer / Enslave

Misuse / Subvert

Weaponise / Recruit

Exploit / Deceive

…

The girls’ loved ones.

A vital source or enabler of the ability.

A community dependent upon the ability.

Unwitting or unrealised wielders of the ability.

The world-shaping potential of the ability.

The girls themselves!

[contextfreepatentart]

[illegal-nipple]

[outofcontextgarf]

[coolerdracula]

[illufinch]

hot croc bun

patreon | twitter

[yarrayora-deactivated20230104]

op i hope you know croc bun is a real thing in indonesia, here are some pictures

theyre usually made for big events like weddings!

[seat-safety-switch]

Here at Asshole Castle, we'll rent you an asshole for whatever reason you may desire. Many social obligations, work responsibilities, and civic duties can be gainfully interrupted by the tactical application of some dickhead you don't know. Whether it's loud and proud, like a shirtless dude screaming in the street and throwing bricks at the streetlights, or something more subtle like someone parking in the loading zone for no good reason, we can provide jerks for any situation.

Many of our customers seek us out because they have something they want to avoid. Because of social awkwardness, they feel like they cannot be honest and simply not turn up for that task. For instance, one of our best assholes, Diane, recently annihilated an entire wedding by pooping in the punch bowl. Nobody asked her to – deniability is part of our whole "thing" here – but it got the job done. Everyone got a great story out of it, and our client was able to spend the rest of her Sunday quietly reading at home.

And, critically, if you yourself are an asshole, we've got a job for you. Even in today's asshole-friendly society, it is still very easy to be such a jerk that you become unemployable. We will give you that job, and you can finally get paid for doing what you're good at. Of course, we do have some rules, but at this point, let's be honest. It's either Asshole Castle or faking slip and fall injuries for the rest of your career. Plus, we have dental.

So come on down to Asshole Castle, and see how we can help you obliterate unwanted social obligations. Our incredibly polite customer service team is the best in the world, but don't piss them off, or you'll be finding yourself getting a free sample of our product.

[catcrumb]

[smbc-comics]

There's only a few hours left to back "Parenting - an SMBC comic collection" on Kickstarter! "Christmas" is one of the comics that will be included in the book.

Original comic : www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2012-05-25

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