To George, the First Space Monkey

Hi, I'm Allie! I like lipstick, microorganisms, and the Boston Bruins. NSFW-ish, sometimes.

[ryebreadgf]

[ryebreadgf]

that’s not even all of them.

[superbeans89]

He heard one rumour once

[homunculus-argument]

We should get to have a customisable flair at the bottom of all your posts that says whatever you want it to say. I want to have an automatic text at the bottom of all my posts like

---

Pro tip! If the previous post can be interpreted in two ways, and one of the two is smart and makes sense, and the other is idiotic and makes no sense at all, assume that the meaning is the one that makes sense!

[angrylittlesliceofpizza]

… are we just going to reinvent forum signature from basic principles? (yes please!)

[homunculus-argument]

Yes. I forgot what those are called.

[reverendyoda]

Banners too, please!

[homunculus-argument]

Concept art:

[shadow-banned-the-hedgehog]

[byjove]

Without fail, every time a woman is talking about how she does not want to have children and never wants to be pregnant and how medical professionals, romantic interests and family members keep trying to bulldoze her decision and keep expecting her to change her mind because motherhood is something that is expected of all women and it is abhorrent to think a woman could not desire it, a random mother spawns in the comments to be like “Well, actually, you never know! I didn’t want children and then I got pregnant and I realized I love being a mama and I have five little babies now! Could happen to you! 🥰”

Sister, keep that to yourself or make your own goddamn post, you are ignoring that woman’s central concern and belittling her, you don’t even think you’re doing it. Formerly childfree women who ended up having children and loving it are like detransitioners in the sense that there is nothing inherently wrong with changing your mind about having children or realizing you were mistaken about your gender identity but immediately weaponizing your indecision to tell people that the barriers to healthcare and the violations of their bodily autonomy and the way society ignores that person’s wishes is actually okay because you were wrong. Some people do know themselves.

[marmoset-marmoset]

[sexysilverstrider]

the group chat when i ask whos available to hang out next week

[medusasstory]

Honestly this is one of the best formatted jokes of all time.

[deviantpolitics]

This is what Donald Trump said about Alex Pretti.

“I don't like that he had a gun. I don't like that he had two fully loaded magazines. That's a lot of bad stuff. And despite that, I'd say that's... very unfortunate.”

“You know, you can't have guns. You can't walk in with guns. You just can't.”

~ Donald J. Trump

Don’t miss any opportunity to remind the maga people in your life that Trump threw the 2nd amendment under the bus the minute he felt a little heat from the good people in Minnesota.

[beesandwasps]

It won’t make a bit of difference. The NRA was in favor of gun control when it was the Black Panthers who were advocating for open carry, and so was Ronald Reagan (along with all the then-extremist right wing). It was never about absolutism on gun rights, it was about making a threat against Those People (including everyone on the left). You’re once again expecting a bunch of people who have been liars and hypocrites for decades to suddenly sit up and say “goodness, I must obey the logical consequences of my beliefs, rather than use claims about my beliefs as a way to advocate for my own prejudices and convenience as I have done for my entire life!” It’s not going to happen.

[medievalreligiousfanatic]

[ursus-arctos-horribilis-chadder]

Foul beast ate that adventurer whole, RIP

[vanglaggle]

me: wow im super sensitive and emotional right now. what the hell is going on

the notorious menstrual cycle:

[initiala]

As much as I think it would be fun to have emotive anthropomorphic ears, I also recognize I can barely control my facial expressions. Like hell can I keep from Angry Ears-ing during meetings

[initiala]

This is who you’re having a meeting with, by the way.

[tpwrtrmnky]

watching mythbusters like "wow this show is kind of reddit" and then seeing the light as I realize that no. mythbusters cannot be called reddit (derogatory) because it's more like reddit behavior was codified by trying and failing to act in ways this show popularized

[achillesinhighheels]

[despazito]

Niu Lai has not made its way onto tumblr yet so I guess my anglophone ass has to make a post about it

[despazito]

Low-budget ‘Niu Lai’ emerges as a surprise hit with its ‘disaster-level’ animation, grabbing millions in China as curiosity rivals Nolan’s ‘

This movie is currently a huge meme in china. It came out of nowhere and inexplicably got a theatrical release, looks like ass, was animated completely by the director and his mother, and took several years to make. "Niu Lai" translates roughly to "The bull is coming" and apparently the film has several other allusions to stock market puns. The Chinese stock market coincidentally had an uptick the day of its release which added further fuel to the meme fire. After going viral Niu Lai began to actually turn profit at the box office, theatres unprepared for Niu Lai mania (the creators did not distribute any promotional material) had to improvise DIY posters:

Niu Lai has now been pulled from theatres.

[starship-goldfish]

Good news: Niu Lai was only pulled from cinemas its hometown, because "the film’s poor quality could harm the city’s image." The rest of China is still screening it.

[pangur-and-grim]

he’s such a disturbance

[little-shake-for-the-ben-man]

I like how fucked up and loud his climbing is, really adds a certain nasty feeling that he normally evokes

[homunculus-argument]

Pharmacy waiting section should have a soundproof thunderdome where people whose medication withdrawal causes aggression can go beat the shit out of each other while waiting for their prescriptions.

[prokopetz]

Magical girl parody where the magical girls and the big gross bug monsters have mutually agreed that they don't actually want to fight each other to the death, and every episode is some reverse Scooby Doo bullshit to keep the Queen of Darkness from figuring out what's going on.

[nattousan]

ok so, I approached my local library with a proposal to donate a mural as a way to A: build portfolio/gain practical experience and B: give back to a beloved public institution. The director was very enthusiastic about it and i've been working on it since the beginning of March. Come with me as I endeavor to paint what is in all honesty an excessive amount of birds

I wanted the birds to look like they were actually in the space so first thing after doing the draft was to do a lighting study

after that I covered the walls in letters in lieu of a projector/vr headset bc i have neither of those :) Then i take a picture of the section of wall and superimpose the lineart over top of it so I can pencil in the lines

et voila

and that was a whole week on it's own so next comes the paintin' >:)

[nattousan]

and now, the birds

Birds 1 and 2/14: Red Winged Blackbird, Male and female, Agelaius phoeniceus

[nattousan]

Bird 3/14, American Robin, Turdus migratorius

[nattousan]

hoo boy, ok *out of breath*

GIVE IT UP FOR BIRD NUMBUH 5, THE CANADIAN GOOSE, Branta canadensis!!!!

this guy took me about 4 days to completely finish, all of those freakingk coverts were a bear to render

[nattousan]

speaking of obnoxious coverts:

bird 5/14, Bluejay, Cyanocitta cristata

the friggin stripes almost got me chat, i may not make it

[nattousan]

Madam....

[nattousan]

birds 6 and 7: American Goldfinch, Spinus tristis, male and female

pleasantly simple to paint! next is the flickerrrrr

[nattousan]

*melts into goo*

BIRD NUMBER 8, (yellow shafted) NORTHERN FLICKERRRRR, Colaptes auratus

genuinely made me start questioning my sanity around day 3, it's half the size the of the goose, WHY did it take me 4 days to finish??

nothing but pain and suffering, i'm sure hope the next bird will be much easier and with FAR less barring :)

[nattousan]

in other news, I am losing my mind hairline

[nattousan]

SHE'S DONE!!

Bird number 9: Red-tailed hawk, Buteo jamaicensis

my chains are broken i am FREE. although i did have a great deal of fun with this, the barring on the wings itself took me like four days and i am READY to move on

this was a week and a half of continuous work so please excuse me for getting a little emotional in the bg 🙏

[nattousan]

*does a little jig*

BIRD NUMBER 10!!! The Male Mallard Duck, Anas platyrhynchos

the male and female ones are gonna be posted separately bc they're taking a lot longer lol but yea! super happy i was able to capture the iridescent green of the head, i found metallic green and blue paint at a craft store that really made his head POP. it looks better in person i promise

ALSO!! As this is the 10th one, BIG announcement. The end is in sight!!!!! I plan to finish within the next 3 weeks and there will be a small dedication ceremony/ unveiling happening at the library to commemorate its completion on the 16th of May. If you live in the Western New York region and want to check it out for yourself shoot me a dm!

Also thank you everyone for your kind words and support throughout this whole process, it's been a genuine treat thinking there are potentially thousands of you out there cheering me on while I paint this 🥹

[luetta]

canaries were used in coalmines due to their incredibly hard beaks, they could break through stone as well as any pickaxe