As your president, I will be auctioning off all of the states and territories I have not visited. Obviously, we do not need them as I am not using them. That means the United States of America will now consist of New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, West Virginia, Delaware, Georgia, South Carolina, North Carolina, Tennessee, Florida, Washington DC, Saint Croix, Saint Thomas and Puerto Rico. The good news is that Washington DC, Saint Croix, Saint Thomas and Puerto Rico have all been given statehood to make up for the states we lost, the bad news is that we have lost California’s $4.251 trillion GDP.