currently unemployed

son of Alexandar, true fyromian patriot, white maoist

[marshals-2]

[marshals-2]

[thewisdomofcrows]

Bun huddle

[noah-wyles]

this is the most frustrating game and if it goes to penalties i'm going to hire an etsy witch for that argentina goalie

[snuh]

[zackthelion]

miderbeas....

[maimonidiva]

atheist atheist: İ don't believe in god because İ believe in dialectical materialism, which is incompatible with belief in god

religious atheist: İ don't believe in Gd because Hashem commands us to seek truth and dialectical materialism is truth

agnostic atheist: nobody knows why İ don't understand dialectical materialism

[quinnactually]

why are your i's so long

[maimonidiva]

because of the material conditions

[inkatesbush]

Can we go back to suicide baiting Neil gaiman. I feel like we’ve lost sight of what’s important here, which is suicide baiting Neil gaiman. ‘This should have happened’ ‘that should have happened’ Wrong. Neil gaiman should have killed himself instead of being slowly and quietly brought back into the cultural consciousness by amazon and various comics publishers etc

[bubbleteavangelist]

[sacred-portal]

[itstimewehavesomesoliddick]

The cuddle bros in the garden

[sunburnt-brian]

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[marshals-2]

Saw MCR, fun show. We need to dig up, resurrect, brutally torture, and then kill Orwell for the bullshit he inflicted upon this earth with 1984

[marshals-2]

Some lady flashed me and I am not woke enough to not be mildly uncomfortable with that tbh!

[thecryptkeeper]

i love women

[marshals-2]

Saw MCR, fun show. We need to dig up, resurrect, brutally torture, and then kill Orwell for the bullshit he inflicted upon this earth with 1984

[wholesome-animal-images]