$waggy

I'm just here to laugh and cry.

[consumeconsume]

[fuck-customers]

i work at a car wash. a customer came in one day and the front of her car was covered in bugs. she said she had went out of town for work and hit some swarms on the highway. then she insisted that we owed her a free car wash because apparently she had came in and gotten a wash like a day or two before her trip and it “got dirty again too quickly”

-Rodney

[buttonpoetry]

“I forgive you, father. Even though you are a language I do not speak.”

— Desireé Dallagiacomo, from Sink

[trashboat]

just sent my ex my blood pressure results so she fuckin knows what shes missing

[trashboat]

[everythingfox]

Cattitude

[the-mediocre-life-deactivated20]

@mostlycatsmostly

[marypoopins]

An important update.

[ruinedchildhood]

[gyce]

[intoxifaded]

the stairway to heaven

[trapcard]

[radsturbate]

[blackfairypresident]

what was yalls first internet community you were in? mine was toontown in 2008

[yorokobi-kanashimi]

[binders-and-beanies]

Of Mice & Men // The Hunger

[the-memedaddy]

[andiamburdenedwithgloriousfeels]

Do you ever start bullshitting a paper, and then look over it halfway through and think, ’…Wait a minute, I could be onto something here.’

[imguiltyofthis]

this is the definition of college.

[comic-canary]

Literally I was writing a paper on Asian salt water crocodiles, like a simple about them paper for a college class, and I started noticing some inconsistencies in the scientific papers I was sourcing and I accidentally discovered that the crocodile has been misdiagnosed as least concerned on the endangered species list when they should be classified as endangered and now my professor is having me write a formal report to the international Red List to have them reclassified and all I wanted to do was write this paper on an animal I thought was cool and now I’m considered an expert on this species…

[waluwadjet2-deactivated20180727]

this is how it works half of esteemed biologists trip and fall into their specialty while pursuing something else. one lecturer i just went to started as a biochemist researching antibiotics and discovered that crocodiles change colors based on environment and now he has 30+ crocs in his yard for research purposes and he’s just like… “wait… i’m a chemist…”

[polywoggiest]

How did so many people end up with crocodiles on accident?????

[thistherapylife]

Accidental crocodiles lol

[relentlesslygayy-deactivated202]

Crocodiles are conspiring to become the third domesticated predator

[yeezy-nation]

neither, bc brownies are fucking nasty and so are the bitches who eat them

[evilposting-deactivated20180929]

I’m sorry that nobody in your family can bake

[yeezy-nation]

my moms a private chef and im in culinary training dont roast us like this

[evilposting-deactivated20180929]

i’m sorry that your mom went to culinary school and still can’t bake :(

[ugly]

“If someone punches you in the stomach,“ he says, “it’ll hurt whether you were expecting it or not. So if the person you love stops loving you back, you’re going to feel the blow even if you saw it coming.”

— S.Z. // Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #195 (via blossomfully)

[mishasaurus]

“Get offa my lawn, ya demons!”