Simp For The Shrimp

Bad vibes only

[sergal]

everyone shut da fuck up this is the only thing that matters

[sergal]

Oh My God Damn

[teathattast]

[teathattast]

Coins AND a friend? He should be grateful

[teathattast]

Realizing some things about myself today

[king-carnivore]

what really fucks me up about watching the truman show in 2025 is how it's not fictional. truman is fictional, but the truman show isn't.

there's thousands of truman shows. you find them on youtube, tiktok, instagram... family and mommy vloggers, sad beige moms and now the trend of neglectful moms showing the "reality" of parenting. all of them using their kids for entertainment. each child their own truman; living a life manufactured by their parents, a camera watching their every moment, broadcasted for the entire world to see.

[king-carnivore]

tbh, i didn't even think about that when i made my post and holy shit you're so fucking right

[igorafvckassbowlcut]

there are days where NO ❌️ video games are played and there are days where video games are played for 10 or maybe 14 hours straight

[indolentjellyfish]

summer's coming so I made them some fancy little drinks

[argentsunshine]

still thinking about the time my bf asked about favourite dinosaurs and my brother said quetzalcoatlus (pterosaur (not a dinosaur)) and my bf said dimetrodon ((synapsid (stem mammal) (went extinct 50 million years before dinosaurs evolved)) and i said crows (bird (dinosaur)) and yet i was judged to be the incorrect one in this scenario

[geminipdf]

me when a fictional woman decides not to get an abortion

[labelleizzy]

[eriyu]

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

I have never seen the 2nd object before, but with the Power of Algebra I now know it's a saw horse

Information is WILD

[synthetic-ultramarine]

don't go on indeed dot com at 2am they start showing you the job listings for gnomes and talking squirrels

[great-american-chapel]

Emerging dragonfly at 1am

[mousenemy]

[moonlitmartyr]

I hate ruminating on what could have been. Out here thinking "if only I locked in when I was 13" are we serious

[crown-princess-carrion]

“my sentient sword came out to me as transmasc, i mean, talk about un-she/they-ing your blade!”

[charlesoberonn]

"He can still be used as a sword against my enemies so long as they/them!"

[bipolyjack]

babys first gay fiction podcast my beloved

[sleepdeprivedsurgeon]

funniest thing to ever happen was when my boyfriend put on the first episode of columbo (which i'd never seen) but he wouldn't tell me what show it was he would only say "you'll get it when he shows up." but a fun fact about the first episode of columbo is that he doesn't show up for 32 minutes and when he does, he silently walks into the room with a cigar and does a little pose and goes "hi i'm columbo."

[birdsareblooming]

sometimes i feel like im climing up this incline again alone but thankully sisypus and the itsy bitsy spider and here with me

[birdsareblooming]

holy shit is that kate bush

[comicaurora]

tumblr I swear to god if your ads on mobile keep opening popup webpages because my FINGER touched them while I was SCROLLING because they are SO BIG that they FILL THE SCREEN AS I SCROLL PAST THEM I am going to MANIFEST SNAKES IN YOUR WALLS

[comicaurora]

if the PAGE-FILLING ADS on your INFINITE SCROLLING MOBILE APP register FINGER MOVEMENT as ANYTHING OTHER THAN SCROLLING I am LEGALLY PERMITTED to HUNT YOU for SPORT