Women fear me, Fish desire me.

icon by @thalliumpatch

[mental-about-you-too]

Jollybaby is to MB as Holism is to ART send post

[tall]

[billymayslesbian]

imagining a universe where porn is a marketable genre so you have to deal with raycon ads while trying to jerk your shit

[torchichate]

You’re an easy slut, aren’t you kitten? Almost as easy as dinner with Hellofresh

[andthepeople]

always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal

[skipsjack]

they're converging

[paperdarkfish-deactivated202008]

interpreting character shippability via what they’d do in a hanahaki au

[orphiclovers-deactivated2026032]

If I was in a fanfiction and started coughing up flowers while working at a flower shop (because this is a flower shop au) I would NOT connect my crush on the tattoo artist next door to the flower cough situation. I would freak the fuck out and think the pollen at work was doing some Last of Us shit to me, quit my job and move FAR away. inadvertently my flame for the tattoo artist would fade with distance, solving my hanahaki situation and proving my 'the flowers were trying to turn me into a plant zombie' theory

[evilvarric666-archive]

Has anyone written a hanahaki fic yet with a scene where the person inflicted is just googling their symptoms and getting increasingly stressed out.

[evilvarric666-archive]

Google search history: coughing, upper respiratory symptoms, found petal in my mouth?, pollen while flossing, coughing up flowers, coughing up flowers webmd, coughing up flowers not hanahaki disease, r/nostupidquestions, r/medicaladvice, diseases other than hanahaki that cause flowers in lungs, flowers in lungs not hanahaki, does hanahaki disease go away, can hanahaki disease kill you, do I have to see a doctor for flowers in lungs, is it possible for coughing up flowers to not be hanahaki disease?, how to cure hanahaki without confessing, hanahaki home remedies, how to treat hanahaki at home, essential oils that treat hanahaki disea-

[inknose]

urgent questions

[everywaythatmatters]

What if you had to pull off an impossible rescue mission on the biggest most fucked up space station you’d ever seen. And there weren’t even any trains

[teaboot]

Names that are normal for old people but weird when you're a baby:

Bartholomew

Dolores

Norman

Harold

Magnolia

Names that are normal for babies but weird when you're old:

Maddison

Tanner

Skylar

Mckenzie

Logan

Names that are normal for old people and normal for babies:

Elizabeth

Mary

Michael

Finnegan

Peter

Names that are weird when you're a baby and weird when you're old:

Radish

Kerosene

Australopithecus

Anthill

Hegemony

Names that are weird when you're normal:

Balthazar

Romulus

Clandestia

Persephone

Kremulon

Names that are normal when you're weird:

Al

[yearofdoodles]

The reveal that secunit is writing its bitchy little diaries in real time while hanging out in three's consciousness was so funny to me 📝

[milflaralorvan-deactivated20231]

when you see your little kitty walking toward you at a leisurely pace and say "hi baby!" bc you're excited to see her and she starts trotting a little bit faster 'cause she's excited to see you too. that's what life is all about i think

[molabuddy]

i Really love when two characters are really quite similar but in such a way that they just hate eachother onsight.. dog barking at a mirror type beef

[sillyuhhh]

it's them your honor

[lemonsweet]

[explodingthunder]

(peer reviewed tags by @chortlebot)

[chososhoeso2]

I like both of those ideas but I imagined some priest kind of doing a sniper blessing as the baby flew by and the precipitation in the air acted as holy water.

Here's a shitty rendition I made in ms paint on my work laptop:

[dawn4ngel]

[bbcwhereareyou]

[punchholesinthesky]

[lustcannibalism]

not to be vague but.

[lustcannibalism]

okay sure it’s your post now