It's the Works :^)

I’ll be here forever ( ͡❛ ͜ʖ ͡❛) . 22

[friendly-asteroid]

Who wants to see my cat totally brave and not at all scared at the vet

[friendly-asteroid]

Excellent. Here she is, being super brave:

[totallyuniquelily]

[marian-devotee]

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

[marian-devotee]

My little brother insisted if I was going to post about him, he wanted a cut of the "profits". When I explained to him that Tumblr isn't monetized, and is pretty pointless, he and my older brother pointed out that he'd still be bringing me "fame and notoriety" if the post got "big". So we agreed, if the post hit 10k notes, which seemed extremely farfetched and silly at the time, I'd take my little brother out for sushi (his favorite food) and let him eat as much as he wants.

I guess God wanted the little robot to enjoy some sushi 🍣 🥲

[thetruerarkher]

[luxwing]

GAMING NEWS !!

expensive

[luxwing]

[crackedpolishedblackstonebrick]

posts funnier with timestamps on

[slutatron-3000]

snoopy in the reverse bear trap <3

[hajsndskskmsnxndn-deactivated20]

[henstomper]

hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad

[impossiblepackage]

stupid fuckin post. People have been making beer since before they even knew how to write and you think that they don’t like the way it tastes?

[henstomper]

damn all that time and it still tastes really bad. huge L tbh

[toskarin]

ahaha you sly dog! you bastard! [getting a little too comfortable] you wretched fucking animal

[evilwizard]

just a heads up. im gonna do a big curse soon

[evilwizard]

okay so honestly i wasn’t expecting they’d be able to hide the body for this long

[evilwizard]

LINDSEY GRAHAM ?

[plumknodel]

[howdoichangethis-deactivated202]

shut up im MLM fuck you

[slutty-satan]

IDC about your essential oils

[twiggy-boy]

You know, every time I draw something stupid, I think to myself "surely I can't top this!" And then somehow I draw something even dumber

Edit: NOOO NOO WHY IS THIS GETTING NOTES??? STOP IT!! ONLY LIKE 10 PEOPLE WERE SUPPOSED TO SEE THIS AND THEN ID BURY IT UNDER MY REPOSTS NOOO

[hungry-mongoose]

*nibbles post*

[twiggy-boy]

Dear god it's reached a whole different species

[captain-price-returns]

You’re years too late to be recognizing the threat of US government mass surveillance, bud.

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

well thats upsetting.... link

[dogpuppy]

At the local hamburger shop and they said yelled out “order 167!” And three middle school age kids yelled in perfect unison “ 6 7!” Life is sometimes so beautiful

[moisterpeggingchampion]

If you reference 67 you deserve to be executed on the spot tbh

[dogpuppy]

If I was king for a day the first thing I would do would be to sentence you to a life full of love and understanding.

[victusinveritas]

[phen00b]

[3000s]

wait a minute..... these arent my memories

[3000s]

ughh. why does my head hurt

[ryan-sometimes]

Working an office job will truly make you have the wildest enemies, bc why is my nemesis rn a woman I’ve never met and who exclusively haunts me by sending diabolical emails, and also a specific guy who left my company before I even worked here and made the system so fuckass that it ruined procedures for like a year

[ryan-sometimes]

Yesterday my nemesis (woman I’ve never met and whose face I’ve never seen) sent my office an email so rude, basically saying we had fucked up every project she ever ordered from us, one of the worst emails I’ve ever read in my life.

And it pissed me off so badly that I spent the ENTIRE WORK DAY today compiling evidence from every project my team has ever done for her, pulling past emails she’d sent us, putting together an entire case proving that she had been the problem all along. That she got projects mixed up, that she’d made requests that were nonsensical, literally everything you could possibly imagine. Screenshots of emails, reports we’d submitted, EVERYTHING.

This woman in particular has been terrorizing my team for years, her name is almost a slur in my office, I had simply had ENOUGH of her.

I put all of this evidence together and sent it to all of my bosses at 4:30pm. Then I took a long break to eat a sweet treat and drink some tea.

After my break, my bosses all called in an emergency meeting with me and they said they read my report and fucking loved it. And I sat on a teams call with my boss’ boss as she wrote my nemesis the scathing email I had always fantasized about sending, using the evidence I’d compiled, and hit send.

It was the most satisfying workday I’ve had since I got hired.

[winnie-wine]

[jewfrogs]

kids were roleplaying with minecraft figurines and one of them had their figure go up to the other and say “i’m in love with you” and the other one replied “sword slash to the chest. and you’re on fire”

[randomfae]

[myothertardisisonthemun]

[insecuregodcomplex]

[junior-theabgshark]

[paranormal-taters]