[texasenchantment]

The fact that I’m legally an adult is hysterical

[nosdrinker]

*saves game six times just in case*

[the-sad-boy]

My thoughts before anything: maybe if i wasn’t ugly

[sickbitterandcoveredinglitter]

Bug-free™ season is over and I am Afraid

[demilypyro]

r u straight?

[demilypyro]

[tartts]

if I don’t get bit by a vampire and turn into a gorgeous immortal woman with questionable morality, irresistible charm, and enthralling mystique then what’s the point

[wlwkara]

shout out to phones for pausing music when u unplug headphones bc im really not out here to blast waterloo by abba to a train full of people

[6ae]

me: *drinks coffee* me: falls asleep

[swarnpert]

some 16 year old who buys crystals off the internet and wears overalls: mom, you’re just grounding me because your mars is in venus so youre prone to bouts of anger, and your pisces sun taurus moon aries rising boss demoted you during a waning moon

[bob-belcher]

[marvel-blog2]

i really need to stop saying ‘mood’ to literally everything. first it was ‘relatable’ then it was ‘same’ - i need to actually give thoughtful responses to someone instead of instantly relying on the word crutch of just throwing ‘mood’ out there as if it’s a replacement for thoughtful human interaction

[aplpaca]

kinda funny when english teachers say stuff like “i can tell if you didnt read the book” or “i can tell when people bs their paper”

no you cant.  you can tell when people are bad at bs-ing their paper.  i didnt even read the sparknotes and i barely skimmed the wikipedia and you gave me an A.  you kneel before my throne unaware that it was born of lies

[ripvaccinated2017-2021-deactiva]

yall gotta stop remaking every two fucking weeks like youre on fucking tumblrs most wanted like WHY are you running

[dankmemeuniversity]

[lunaeregia]

do y'all know how healing it is to block people who are even mildly annoying

[merrigold]

a quiet place (2018)

me: *my joints crack, killing me instantly*

[snorlaxatives]

do you ever just randomly get in the mood to play the sims??? like i’m sitting here at work just minding my own business and my brain is just like “i wish we were playing the sims right now” and i’m like “damn brain… me too”