yapper is my moist

r/m/t. Writer. Musician and music enthusiast. kpop blog @dkbtho Album of the Week: The Mathematics of Nature - Matthew Chaim

[mathgeek101]

I shran't (shrimp can't)

[oh-no-its-bird]

Pilot dropped his water bottle underneath the console and it got stuck behind the peddles; They were talking to maintenance and asking them for a giant stick to try and poke it out from under there because obviously, that's a HUGE safety hazard. I finally bullied my way into the cockpit insisting I was small enough to try and just grab it and managed to wiggle under and get it in like 5 seconds flat.

They looked at me in pure awe. I have never felt more powerful.

[oh-no-its-bird]

Artistic rendition

[evidently-endless]

the odyssey (2026)

[wizardarchetypes]

i’m sitting in a big pine tree with branches down to the ground and you can’t see inside and these two small boys like five years old just ran in and stopped in surprise and I told them it’s okay they can play in here too and they immediately started climbing and growling like bear cubs and they’re like ten feet up above me now not even talking just roleplaying bears

[wizardarchetypes]

oh let me be clear I am not here for work. I’m playing too!!

[segamascott]

there's just something so phallic about dick and cock

[messsssmer]

"Whimsy" is truly a wretched term. What maketh thee so carefree?

[fireknightqueelign]

thy mother

[messsssmer]

Art thou for fucking real

[pseudomantis]

requesting my food be prepared "ant style" at every restaurant i go to

[byjove]

“I’m afraid of getting cancer from the cadmium in my painting supplies” I’m not 😌 I love you cadmium yellow. I love you vermillion red. I love you uranium orange, haven’t worked with you but I love you nevertheless. Most of all I love you arsenic green.

[byjove]

This dress could kill you but I completely understand why people in the late 19th century were willing to take that risk.

[byjove]

Here is uranium orange fiestaware, proving that beauty truly is pain.

[byjove]

just found out about London purple 🤤

[bundibird]

I was wondering what was involved with London purple so as to merit its inclusion alongside such stars as arsenic green and uranium orange, and --

Ah, cool, gotcha

[unashamedly-enthusiastic]

Do you like the color of the poison?

[english-history-trip]

You know what was used as yellow dye for almost thirty years between its discovery and its current use?

TNT.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I think a lot about who I am to other people in the world–particular who I am to strangers as a mere concept in their lives.

Today this woman called our information desk and said, “my son’s band is playing tonight. I want to come see him, but he never answers his phone…..I want to be there. Have you heard anything about his band?”

And I felt so bad for this lady but I’m not in the music scene around here so I had to tell her no, sorry.

Five hours later, I’m hiking and run into a group of guys setting up for some outdoor performance, and as I watch them unload the drums it hits me.

“Hey,” I said, “are y’all in a band?”

They said yeah and smiled and I told them “one of your moms called today. She wants to watch you play, but she can’t get a hold of you. Call your mom.”

And they all pulled out their phones and started discussing whose mom it probably was as they presumably dialed their own.

And now, unless we meet again and recognize each other, that’s who I’ll be forever to those guys–some mysterious courier for mom-messages who came out of the woods and told them their mom called.

I didn’t even tell them why their mom called me. Who am I to their mom?? Nobody even asked. They just took my word for it and called their mothers.

Amazing.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

I’M LAUGHING!!! THEY DIDN’T EVEN ASK WHO I AM.

[animentality]

[jezunya]

I don't know where this is from, but I've heard a story about one of the main muppets (like Kermit or Big Bird or someone like that) appearing on an evening talk show, and as they were setting up sound and lights before the interview, they kept having this really awful garbled sound from the muppet they were going to be interviewing, way worse than the host who was sitting right next to them

Finally the crew realized they had actually mic'd Kermit himself, instead of the voice actor

[forest-woman]

[laurierrose]

we need to start legally protecting these like make this kind of bathroom part of the national park system

[genderoutlaws]

An abandoned theater in Rochester, New York. Formerly a pornographic theater, then just a facade after the Walgreens next door gutted it to use as a warehouse. The Walgreens with it's shampoo and baby formula and half of the store locked in cages; the contradictions stare into you. You go because it is the nearest pharmacy, close in walking distance for you and your disabled loved ones.

The Walgreens shuts down and it too, is now just a vacant facade, next to a vacant facade. You stare into the large windows meant to advertise it's contents, now only showcasing absence. A wide open space with torn up floors. You think about how perfect the location could be for low income housing, for squatting, for anything other than standing as a constant reminder of the city's failures to her people. The parking lot is empty, save for the occasional cop car, to ensure no one uses the lot or the building for anything at all. The cop ensures the space will stay as useless as himself.

They add letters to the theater's marquee; a reminder and encouragement of surveillance. "If you see something, say something. In progress call 911, over and done call 311." They board up the doors, ensuring that the space will stay in it's intended form: empty, useless, an eyesore that reminds everyone of their place. The freshly boarded up door has been emblazoned with a message from those who lack.

"A man would shelter, if he could / in the nook behind this new plywood / the building, abandoned / the man is too / how I wish you'd imagine / that it were you."

[anxeious]

[2peachy]

[loveridden1999]

[chirasul]

we got a full redbox and now we're playing go fish with the redbox movies

[chirasul]

I would never pay money for a redbox. if you ask politely and are very very persistent (i.e. annoying) they will let you take it away

here's my dad and i taking it away

a redbox makes a wonderful addition to your patio

[fishmech]

for those wondering why they're free to take now, it's because the company that made those "chicken soup for the soul" books bought them a few years ago and then completely collapsed so bad they couldn't afford to dispose of or even take the blu rays and dvds out of their kiosks all over.

so any of them is free game because they're all located on other business' property and they usually don't want to have to pay to get rid of them either. so asking the store manager usually gets you the ok to pull it out and keep it.

[chirasul]

there was a period of time right after their bankruptcy where you could put in any debit or credit card and it would spit out movies without charging you. you could even put in like an expired or deactivated card, or a visa gift card with a $0 balance, didnt matter, they'd just start spitting discs out. a lotta people raided redboxes for movies for a couple months, with some people doing what me and my brother and my dad did here, taking the whole box and signs and marquees as well. because managers sure as hell don't want a big abandoned piece of trash on their sidewalk disappointing customers. BUT they're also often too cheap to pay someone to remove it. so they just sit there.

luckily there are no shortage of freaks like us who will just take them away on our own volition. we did it all "by the book", too: we set up cones and caution tape, disconnected electricity properly, used an angle grinder to grind down the bolts in the concrete so nobody would trip on them, then cleaned everything up afterward and sealed off the electrical panel so the store would know everything is safe and tidy. though they were hesitant when we were first contacting them, they were honestly very relieved and grateful when we finally took it away, especially once they saw that we "knew what we were doing" (we don't) and look like we've "done this before" (we haven't).

the fun part: the reason why this redbox, in particular, was completely full and unraided is because the computer hardware inside had failed some months before the bankruptcy, and a failing company sure as hell wasn't gonna send a tech out to our podunk dipshit city to fix it, so it was impossible to rent movies or take any discs out. plus, for who knows how long, people were returning old redbox discs to this machine and not taking any out, leading to a much higher variety of movies than your average redbox.

there is a thriving community of redbox hackers and modders out there, as well, creating open-source software for repurposing the machines and not letting their very interesting and robust disc-management hardware go to waste. this one belongs to my brother (who was very annoying persistent and did all the legwork of contacting managers and securing permission) who is a programmer by trade and will be hacking it into a family-access movie library, with whatever discs we want. i mean the machine is completely weatherproof and has a built-in AC unit, it would be such a waste to not try to turn it into something cool.

if we get another one, i'm gonna try to mod it into some sort of art or zine vending machine. the disc boxes are just the right size for small print art or stickers. would make a great "little free library" too.

remember: the rules are made up. act like you belong there and you can get away with anything. this applies to your own life

[bafahy]

[scribeherself]

people will say “they’re only friends” and then show me two people who would crawl through broken glass to hear the other laugh once. two people who have memorized each other’s coffee orders, fears, childhood stories, and emergency contacts. two people who would haunt each other’s houses as ghosts. be serious.

[scribeherself]

Just an FYI—the original intention of this post was to challenge the way people say only friends, as though friendship is somehow lesser than other forms of love. As if being deeply known, cherished, and chosen by another person could ever be a small thing. Normalize profound platonic love. Some of the most fulfilling, transformative, and enduring relationships we will ever have are friendships. 🫶🏼

[dduane]

”‘Just’ friendship? A poor modifier for so high and honorable a state.”