Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Look buddy, i’m just trying to make it to Friday.
reblog if its friday and you made it

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@maxdoesntlikethisname
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Look buddy, i’m just trying to make it to Friday.
reblog if its friday and you made it
im not like other teenagers, im 51
if australia can be in Eurovision why can’t america?
because we don’t like america and we have to hear from them every other day of the year
you know what’s always bugged me? when a character is faced with some magical two headed being or some shit and one always lies while the other tells the truth and to figure out which is which the character’s like “which one of you is the liar” or something like bruh literally all you gotta do is be like “what’s two plus two” one of them’s gonna say four and the other one is gonna say 83 or some shit. there you go. answered. go on with your magical quest to defeat david bowie.
this has forty notes. that’s forty more notes than expected.
THIS IS A VERY GOOD POINT and deserves more notes
LISTEN i don’t normally engage in Discourse but this information is DANGEROUSLY MISLEADING!
the point of the riddle isn’t to figure out which one is lying, in fact, knowing which one lies and which one tells the truth is irrelevant. What you want is the correct answer from the magical beast/two guards/etc. Usually this means knowing which path to take. For that, you HAVE to ask it “if i ask the other head/guard/etc which is the safe way to go, what will they tell me?”
if you asked the truth-telling one, they’ll tell you the wrong way, because the liar will always mislead you. if you ask the liar, they’ll tell you the wrong way, because they’re misleading you, so
ALWAYS do the opposite of whatever answer you get.
“who cares this is a stupid tumblr post this doesn’t matter irl–”
WRONG AGAIN! story time:
A few years ago a friend threw a halloween party, and since he dressed as the Riddler, he decided to have a riddle contest.
now, i’ve been preparing for a riddle contest my entire life, since i first read the hobbit and it got bilbo out of trouble. for some reason, i assumed riddle contests were as inevitable as quicksand.
I answered the first riddle easily (it was one of the ones from the hobbit) and then i had to answer the next one to win a bottle of top-shelf rum. it was a variation on the two-guard riddle, only i had to choose one of two paper bags. one had crappy cheap vodka, the other the nice rum.
the host and his friend did the classic one lies one tells the truth thing, and of course before i asked everyone started shouting “ask him what color your hair is!” and stuff like that, but i already knew what to ask, so i shushed them and won the rum
remember, kids, it doesn’t matter which one is lying and which one is telling the truth. all that matters is you get the correct knowledge to move you forward, win your rum, and make you seem like a superhuman riddle-solver to a crowd of drunken party guests.
always be ready for a riddle contest
Here’s a thing that usually doesn’t come up when people try to criticise this riddle as well. One of the conditions of the riddle is typically that you only get to ask one question. You arrive at the liar and the truth teller and you need to find out which bridge is safe and which one will collapse when you’re halfway across.
They tell you that one of them always lies and that one of them always tells the truth. And they tell you you can ask them one question.
If you ask “What’s two plus two?” than great. You know which one lies but you also still don’t know which bridge you can cross and can’t find out.
You played yourself.
i can get the answer in zero questions. block all the other exits, light them on fire, and see which way they run.
^ Look at Alexander the Great up here, cutting the knot and all.
Good News: Our Children Have Some Terrific Ideas for How to Get the Big Ol’ Boat Unstuck From the Suez Canal
Lyra's got the right idea I think
Why does the entire rest of the internet think tumblr is “dying” or “dead” when I have seen absolutely no drop in activity level on here ever
Would you rather twitter and reddit people move back here? I think it’s good people think we’re dead
Just because your feelings are valid, this doesn't mean that every possible reaction to them is. Yes, it's okay to be angry - but it's not okay to take it out on someone by breaking their stuff. Yes, it's okay to be jealous - but it's not okay to sabotage relationships. Yes, it's okay to want attention - but it's not okay to lie to get it. And so on. Your feelings are always valid, but you still have a responsibility for how you choose to express them.
Astronaut readjusts to life back on Earth
> Don’t give him a baby for a while.
HE GRABS THE CUP BUT THEN HE DROPS THE PEN 0.0003 SECONDS LATER
AND HE LOOKS UP AT THE CEILING INSTEAD OF AT THE GROUND WHEN HE CAN’T FIND THEM
I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING HE JUST DROPS IT
IT’S NOT FUNNY IT’S VERY LOGICAL THAT HE WOULD HAVE ADJUSTED TO LIVING LIFE WHILE HE WAS IN SPACE BECAUSE IT’S DIFFERENT FROM EARTH BUT I CAN’T FUCKING BREATHE
*THUNK*
i love it so much every time i see it
“ugh stupid gravity”
IM FUXKING CSHAKING
I haven’t seen this post on my dash in *years* bless this
Bless, this is absolutely amazing
I love this. It’s so gestural and he’s so exasperated about gravity.
The perfect comedic timing of the NASA logo.
Predator (1987) | dir. John McTiernan
I started screaming to myself BUT THEN WHO DID THE ART BASED ON THE SCREENSHOT? And I realised I can find out, so I did.
https://www.deviantart.com/miloslavvonranda/art/EPIC-handshake-by-Dillon-and-Dutch-325709082
The artist’s handle is MILOSLAVvonRANDA and he is Czech.
Unfortunately I can’t find him on any other accounts and, like any sane person, he stopped being active on DA a while ago.
The Incredibles 2 (2018)
figured out what all my posts were missing! it was the sun wearing shades in the top left corner
genuinely moved by this clip of pingu being comforted during a panic attack
why are hummingbirds so dumb
The Holy Trinity
THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN
I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS
DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ?????
That last fatal scream tho
THE TERROR IN HIS SCREAM OH GOSH
i’m crying
I will always reblog this on the off chance some other poor soul has been searching for it
IT’S BACK
HOYL SHIT ITS B A CK
IT’S BACK?? ON MY DASH?
re-blogging again xD
what was that we were just saying about still having posts circulating from ridiculous numbers of years ago? 😂
Unmute
Unmute
OH MY FUCKING GOD
CARL
cArL FUCK!
DON’T YOU DARE SHUT THE FUCKIN’ DOOR, C A R L
MY A S S
Y’all laughing but this is how 2020 gonna end.
I’M GONNA KILL THE FUCKING HUMANS AND I’M GONNA START WITH YOU CARL
World Heritage Post
Map of the US by a truck driver who has seen most of it…