Angels Like You (Can’t Fly Down Here With Me)
Summary: Distance can change a relationship, for Reader, it means the end of a promised forever..
Theme: Angst, it’s just angst, like no happy ending in sight, im sorry
(This is my first angsty drabble so if you have any feedback it’s appreciated)
When you first met Wanda, you could’ve sworn that every single planet and star in the universe had aligned. At the first sight of auburn hair and bright, green eyes, you knew that any walls you had tried to build around your heart would immediately come crashing down. You had heard the stories about Wanda. All the whispers of the girl who just wanted to love and be loved but always found herself starting a new chapter alone. And although all the signs told you there was no easy road with Wanda, you couldn’t help but feel drawn to her. You knew you were a lost cause once you felt her mischievous gaze on you and felt the butterflies erupt from the deepest depths of your soul. Wanda was new to you but somehow felt like the home you always knew. From that very moment, you knew that she was who you wanted to spend forever with. But now that forever is standing in front of you, face contorted with hurt, hands shaking and eyes filled with dread, trying to tell you about how nothing good can last forever.
You’re watching her, a million thoughts running through your mind. You’re trying to understand the words she just spoke to you, a whisper so quiet you could barely hear it above your heart crashing in waves against your chest. You watch as she lifts her gaze to look you in the eyes, and you don’t need her to repeat what she said, you can see it in those tear-filled eyes. You can see the sorrow, you can see the regret, you can see the sympathy.
“Y/N, please...you had to have known that this is something we both felt and saw happening.” Wanda pleads with you. You let out a choked laugh. It’s the only sound you have allowed to escape your throat since the start of this harrowing conversation.
“Really, Wanda? Something we saw coming? Is that meant to make it better?” You can’t hold it in. The words come rushing out before you can even really begin to process what she is implying. The only thoughts flooding your mind is that Wanda is the only one who saw this coming. She felt this all falling apart, while you were still in your own dreamland building hopes and false realities.
“Tell me this Wanda, when did you begin to feel it? Hm? Was it before or after you told me you loved me last night? Or was it this morning, when I woke you up with a kiss on the forehead? Maybe it was during your birthday when I told you that you’re the only person that I will ever want for the rest of this life and the next? Tell me Wanda. Because I don’t think this is something we saw coming. To me, this wasn’t something I had planned!” You ignore the way Wanda flinches at every question you throw at her. You let out a shaky breath, trying to control the ache in your chest that is only growing with each second that passes. It feels like the ground beneath your feet is moving and you know you have to sit before you lose control of your own body.
“That’s not fair. You know it’s not Y/N...” Wanda sighs deeply, you hear the nervous shuffle of her feet, trying to decide whether taking a step closer to you would help the situation or make it much worse. “You have to know that this wasn’t something I planned either. You have to understand that it’s something neither of us could have controlled Y/N...please listen to me Детка-”
“-Don’t you dare call me that Wanda.” You angrily spit. This hurt is quickly fading into anger, an anger that is pointed directly at Wanda. You don’t know how to control it. It starts in your clenched fists, your nails pushing so deeply into the skin of your palms that it almost draws blood. It quickly moves to your chest, burying deeply into the cracks that Wanda is carving into your heart. You feel it grow, until it’s consuming every single part of you and it seeping its way into your mouth and the only way to get rid of the taste is to let the burning words flow.
“You have no right to stand there and call me that Wanda! How dare you look at me and tell me that you don’t want this anymore and in the same breath call me Детка. I can’t believe that you’re doing this to me...” You can’t help the crack in your voice as you lose control. You feel the sobs rock your entire body in great deep tremors, the tears starting to fall uncontrollably. You look up at your love, straight into those deep green eyes that were once so welcoming but now they only show the truth of your demise.
“How could you tell me you love me and promise me forever and then take it away so easily Wanda?” You barely get the question out. It’s too heavy to be spoken as anything more than a whisper.
“Y/N...I’m sorry. This is what has to happen right now, there is nothing that can be done to change it.” Wanda says it with such conviction that it almost convinces you that maybe she’s right. Her fingers twitch slightly, a telltale sign that with those words, Wanda is still trying to convince herself. It’s now that you take the opportunity to really look at Wanda. You see how the tears on her face have dried and left streaks of pain that you wish you could kiss away. You look at the way she is standing, like she doesn’t really want to go and god how you wish she would just run to you instead of keeping this distance. This isn’t the Wanda you want to commit to memory but it may be the only one that you can remember as being honest with you.
Wanda notices you observing her, she knows you can read her better than anyone, she knows that she needs to show you she believes what she’s telling you. So she decides to do what she knows how to do best. You watch as the last remnants of her love for you begin to retreat behind the newly built walls in Wanda’s eyes. You know that this is the last you’ll see of her. And as you watch your love of over a thousand lifetimes slowly turn and walk away from you, you know that there’s nothing you can say or do that will change her mind. You want to scream and beg and fight for her to stay but you know that it will just be a waste of the last glimmer of dignity you have left.
So instead, you watch her go. She only stops once and turns to say, “You don’t deserve this Y/N. I just… I want you to know that it’s not your fault, I ruined everything. And it’s not your fault I can’t be what you need. I’m sorry I turned out to be everything they said I would be.”
And with those words, she’s gone. And you feel the emptiness of the room but it’s nothing compared to the emptiness in your heart. Now there is nothing holding you back from the heartbreak, you close your eyes to escape but it only causes a fresh onset of warm tears to roll down your face. With your eyes closed, all you see is the last image you’ll ever have of Wanda, the image of her walking away with the only forever you wanted. Now all the happiest memories of her are painted with a deep shade of blue and you can’t help but wonder if any small change would have made a difference. If you had loved her harder, held her tighter or kissed her deeper, if it would’ve convinced her to stay. But as you sit frozen in the same spot she left you, you realise that nothing could change the past.
The only thing that wouldn’t change was your love for her.
Wanda would always be your forever, even though you may not be hers.
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