the source of my procrastination

certfied plant mom. 

[shittynewyorkercartooncaptions]

[daily-meme]

[theproblematicblogger]

So I have a question for my followers: are there any conspiracy theories you’re 100% convinced are real

[berqamot-deactivated20190704]

Canadian prime minister Justing Trudeau is the illegitimate son of the late Cuban dictator Fidel Castro

[unstumpabledeplorable]

Search your feelings, you know it to be true.

[feminists-against-feminism]

Castro with Treudeau’s parents

holding Justin’s older brother as a baby

Supposed parents are both white, yet Justin has Brown nipples

[ampersand-prime]

See, the nipples angle is just not something I would’ve thought to pursue

[feminists-against-feminism]

1000$ says his brother, who actually looks like his father Pierre, has pink nipples.

[theproblematicblogger]

Do we have a picture of Fidel’s nipples? My searches have yielded fakes and forgeries.

[uncle-jingo]

Do we have a picture of Fidel’s nipples?

Not a sentence you expect to read when are having your coffee in the morning

[lickrock]

I can’t believe the first thing I searched for this morning was “Fidel Castro’s nipples”. But I did:

[ottermoone]

Reblogging just for the nips

[cromerholt]

shitpost

shitpost

shitpost

capitalism is going to fucking murder us all and the world is ending

shitpost

shitpost

furry art

shitpost

[dragon-in-a-fez]

[0jem00-deactivated20200219]

A little Feyre drawing, with her wings, because I lov them

[wandrlust-stark]

scoop trooooop

[user87262893]

[mysharona1987]

[exeggcute]

these shitty "literature hot takes" on twitter are giving me a fucking aneurysm. "nobody should read books older than 100 years old" is easily the most idiotic knee-jerk reaction I've ever heard of but everyone is eating it up because nobody wants to be intellectually challenged by anything more difficult than harry potter

[exeggcute]

literary education is piss poor at the K-12 level, and I don’t think it’s helpful or productive when this education begins and ends with “xyz is a canonical work and therefore it is a masterpiece that you must enjoy” but there’s a fucking reason this shit is taught—because its influence on literature and culture is enduring! there does need to be more contextual education on the historical and cultural significance of certain works, which isn’t a value judgement that these words are “good,” only that they’re influential. but also acting like anything old must be worthless is complete brain rot considering how much pop culture even today draws upon literary tropes and traditions, fairy tales, folklore, all of that stuff. are you really going to tell me that shakespeare is washed-up and useless to the modern reader and then go watch the fucking lion king remake without a hint of irony 

[hydro-homies]

The long game

[sistertaxon]

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

[thesylverlining]

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

[kittyknowsthings]

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

[systlin]

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

[totohoy-blog]

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

[systlin]

I mean. 

“WHAT THE FUCK STAY AWAY FROM THE ROCKS.”

“FUCKER THEY SAID THEY HAVE FETTUCCINE CARBONARA AND HOT GARLIC BREAD OVER THERE HANG ON BITCH.” 

[musicalhell]

This is true; Odysseus heard them promising him knowledge of the future.  So the next time you see artwork like this:

Remember those sultry naked chicks are saying “We’ll tell you the winning lotto numbers.”

[fuckstaffposts]

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

[rpluvsyj]

This post is a blessing

[wittyusername97]

Congratulations! Odysseus! You’ve been selected as a winner for the free $1000 Amazon Gift Card, Apple iPhone X 256G or Samsung Galaxy S8! Claim your prize now!

[kitvalkyrie]

Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

[somenoneelse]

wait a second… does that mean the wax Odysseus’ men sealed their ears with to not be beguiled by the sirens was the first adblock in history?

[quietchanges]

we’re either gonna be the generation that revolts & saves the planet OR the elder gen of a post-apocalyptic society, so like, either way, suit tf up y’all we’re in for a wild ride

[omghotmemes]

The real villain

[lake-erie]

hawaiian shirt + dark bags under eyes is a good look… it says yeah i would really love to be carefree and relaxed right now but certain circumstances have made that impossible

[weepycat]

[pinkfemmeprincess]

Men Speaking Nearby, colorized, c. 2019, artist unknown

[triedandtrued]

[snout]

being a macroorganism is so stressful. i want to know what my cells are doing. I don’t like how unsupervised they are

[weepingwitch]

my cells govern themselves, I’m mostly just a figurehead

[revolution-girlstylenow]

my body is a constitutional monarchy and i am its powerless queen