♎️

madeleine / 19 / uk

[shit-liberals-post]

[ilovekitty3000]

[utteradoxography]

[oomshi]

[intriga-hounds]

group costume!

[intriga-hounds]

[phantompiper]

This is the cutest damn thing I ever seen

[greglestrade]

some customers: oh my god i’m so sorry i have to ask you a question i feel so foolish for not knowing this already please help me but i’m so sorry forgive me other customers: answer this question before i’ve even asked it or i’ll kill you where you stand 

[kai-ni]

#1 has worked in retail

#2 hasn’t

[sneakyfeets]

my wife’s so cute because we both love animals so much but her way is very pure and genuine whereas my family is:

me, holding up my cat: stinky

wife: no!! don’t be mean!!!

me, swaying him back and forth in the air: stinky bastard man

wife: No!!!!!!!!

my mother, not looking up from chopping veggies: naughty boy. brat cat

wife, distraught: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sneakyfeets]

In case anyone doubted the validity of my claims: 

[beatlesweatles]

The wife:

The mom:

[gothicprep]

i read the title of this post and was ready to be angry abt it but then i read the preview and that jst… completely obliterated my train of thought

[1i73-deactivated20221021]

spongebob: איפה העיקר פה

patrick: i’m so fucking sorry spongebob…..

[anchovy-official]

completely serious question: is this a real post or am I just hallucinating this? can anyone else see this post??

[catwithaknife]

here are my favourite babycenter.com poll questions from the past week

[creamed-toast]

[mooglemain]

this is how my voice sounds in my head

[jumex]

I think about this everyday

[pietriarchy]

I feel like everyone worships avocado and I’m struggling because it just tastes like compressed wet grass lump but nobody will listen and I’m all alone in this world

[lvnnsi]

12/21/16

[spideyjlaw]

oh just a drunk chris evans at the age of ultron prem to brighten up your day

[whatagrump]

drunk chris evan sounds and acts like charlie day in always sunny

[adh-deku]

[actuallyapathy]

pretty bold to imply anything funny has ever happened on big bang theory

[the-memedaddy]

[mhalachai]

Pros: you can grow a new ankle

Cons: It isn’t your ankle

[tandembicycles]

what if we called “flat” soda “flaccid” soda instead

[somecunttookmyurl]

hey, tandem?

[tandembicycles]

I’m out for the evening

[somecunttookmyurl]

ok i’ll wait

[priestofkhonsu]

Tandem, come home and face the horror you’ve created

[tandembicycles]

no

[bob-belcher]