Late Night Streams of Consciousness @meanderingchild - Tumblr Blog

you are out with a friend when suddenly you blink and everything around you looks ruined and everyone looks like statues. A frail old man looks at you and weeps while he says “After 84 years, I finally was able to wake someone up”

pepessilvias-blog

isa-ghost

I HATE THIS

heroofthreefaces

“HE’S CALLING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE”

firjii

don’t like that

cundtcake

Botanical Sexism Cultivates Home-Grown Allergies

Arborists often claim that all-male plants are “litter-free” because they shed no messy seeds, fruits or pods. In the 1949 USDA Yearbook of Agriculture, which focused on trees and forests, this advice was given to readers: “When used for street plantings, only male trees should be selected, to avoid the nuisance from the seed.” In the years following, the USDA produced and released into the market almost 100 new red maple and hybrid-maple-named clones (cultivars), and every single one of them was male.

It took a number of years for these new trees to mature enough to start to bloom, but eventually they did and with them came more city pollen and the “epidemic of allergy and asthma.” Many of these same trees are still alive and well and getting even larger, and the bigger they get, the more pollen they shed.

Allergies are rarely triggered by small amounts of an allergen; they are initiated by an overdose. Small amounts of pollen exposure are actually good for us, but if we have highly allergenic trees or shrubs in our own yards or lining our streets, we will soon enough be over-exposed. In order to put the brakes on America’s allergy epidemic, we need to reverse the trend toward male-dominated landscapes and stop selling and planting any more of the most allergenic trees, shrubs and grasses in our cities.

and the kicker:

Female trees produce no pollen, but they trap and remove large amounts of pollen from the air, and turn it into seed. Female trees (and female shrubs also) are not just passive, but are active allergy-fighting trees. The more female plants in a landscape, the less pollen there will be in the air in the immediate vicinity. By relying less on males and paying more attention to the allergy-potential of all the plants in our urban landscape, all of us may one day breathe easier.

capsgirl19

ain’t this what happened to the fuckin ents

riggedforsuccess

caps youre the funniest fucking person alive

xxziggystardust

dnotive

HEY. HOW DID YOU GET SO BIG.

WHAT KIND OF DOG ARE YOU.

I HAVE QUESTIONS FOR YOU.

brownjet-archive

aren’t you just as pretty as a magnolia in may?

roboco-san

I think the goose game is so successful because it captures a fundamental human desire to be absolutely but harmlessly bastardous

roboco-san

it's the same reason we gleefully smash pots in zelda games

roboco-san

sometimes you just need to be a moderate to severe nuisance

sugarkat

we are all poltergeists in meat suits

roboco-san

what a horrifying way to phrase this thank you

happifying-things

🎥 by teistom

feistyredhead79

Oh, I wish this had sound!

windows5

grubarchived

this stream was so funny because if im remembering right hbomb was THE ONLY PERSON with the guts to murder a congresswoman

jenjensd

How could you leave this in the tags?

bulbabushka

Pretend ur invasive self hating thoughts r being said to u by a 13 y/o boy on xbox live trying to get a rise out of you like “Your girlfriend dumped you because you’re ugly” that’s nice tim isn’t it past ur bedtime

hellfucingshitfuck-deactivated2

also, if you have intrusive violent thoughts, pretend they’re being said to u by an annoying backseat driver

“drive into that pole” thanks karen or i could not do that

emmmpty

Perfect

the-neon-pineapple

you can also pretend that the Super Paranoid thoughts are being said by that conspiracy theorist in your history class

“maybe they poisoned you” maybe you should fuck off, geoffrey-with-a-g

venusian--eye-deactivated201606

OHH MAN I DO THIS SHIT EVERY DAY

dapperpea

My favorite for intrusive anxious thoughts is to pretend Spock’s behind you with an answer.

“did I lock the door-”

captain you have locked the door every day for over ten years, and it is very hard for most people to break even subconscious habits, so you most definitely locked the door

zetsubonna

I told my new psychiatrist about how I learned this from y'all and his eyes lit up. He didn’t smile but he did nod a whole bunch of times, it was great.

merelyimmortal

I like to pretend that my intrusive thoughts are being said to me by a super uptight religious white lady

“god hates you because you don’t believe in him” “your failures are too great to be forgiven by anyone” “everything you do is wrong and you are going to burn in hell”

thanks for the input brenda but fuck right off

thatoneqprblog-blog

I would just like to say that I love you all for this idea.

constructionpaperandtears

thefeelsawaken-deactivated20170

This is so special.

part2of3

Star Trek DS9 S04E10: Homefront

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

Every time someone tells Worf about Greek Mythology he’s just like “The humans know where Zeus lives. Why do they simply not raid Olympus and slay him for his misdeeds”

keeper-of-the-flames

YES

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

“If a god were to hypnotise my wife into having sex with a bull and giving birth to a Bull Child I would kill that god in no uncertain terms

RIP to King Minos but I’m different”

nicollekidman

natalie portman radiates such a terrifying energy i can’t describe it….. it’s not exactly evil but it’s not warm either…. i feel like she could unhinge her jaw and drag me into the ocean like a kraken but she wouldn’t bc it’s undignified

dancinginthesetrees

Wanna know why?

“Oscar-winning actress Natalie Portman told the crowd at Saturday’s Women’s March in downtown Los Angeles that she experienced what she calls “sexual terrorism” as a 13-year-old after the release of the film The Professional.

Portman described her pride and excitement in releasing the film, only to encounter sexually explicit messages both directed toward her and made about her.

”I excitedly opened my first fan mail to read a rape fantasy that a man had written me,” she recalled. “A countdown was started on my local radio show to my 18th birthday, euphemistically the date that I would be legal to sleep with. Movie reviewers talked about my budding breasts in reviews.”

The experience, she said, changed the way she expressed herself publicly, in order to limit the ways she could be objectified by others.

”I understood very quickly, even as a 13-year-old, that if I were to express myself sexually, I would feel unsafe,” she said. “And that men would feel entitled to discuss and objectify my body to my great discomfort. So I quickly adjusted my behavior. I rejected any role that even had a kissing scene and talked about that choice deliberately in interviews. I emphasized how bookish I was and how serious I was. And I cultivated an elegant way of dressing. I built a reputation for basically being prudish, conservative, nerdy, serious, in an attempt to feel that my body was safe and that my voice would be listened to.”

Video of the speech here: https://www.vox.com/2018/1/21/16917130/natalie-portman-womens-march