We're All Mad Here @mechanicmama - Tumblr Blog

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sj0

you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog

hersheyhipster

Couldn’t risk it.

justjengie

didn’t realize they change colors. now I know o gotta wish.

pinayputa

THIS SHIT IS REAL I GOT THE JOB I WAS NUTS ABOUT BC I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY maybe it’s a coinkidink but it okay just take the necessary steps to achieve what you’re wishing for and YOU CAN DO IT

archive95205-blog

shaniae

Reblog in 10 seconds and $1700 will come your way

trainhardrunfast

I have nothing to lose and 1700$ to gain

hyrude

this is the text of good fortune, reblog in 60 seconds and $1200 will spontaneously materialize in your bank account🙏🙌💪🏻😤

jahmyaa

Blame this guy named tony for this ok😭

phontsforevs

i feel the need to reblog bc i just scrolled past this kind of post and my life is hell lol so hi

raspberrythin

Just doing it so my check won’t be $1 when I get it

thexanadream

i don’t trust myself enough to scroll

iraprince

HI IT’S ME AGAIN

YOU’RE FUCKING UP YOUR TEETH AND YOUR MUSCLES AND SHIT

iraprince

WHEN I CATCH YOU WITH ONE OF THESE I STEAL A FEW MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE FORCE. WHEN YOU ARE NOT CLENCHING WHEN YOU SEE ONE OF THESE, YOU GET TO STEAL A FEW MINUTES BACK. WE’LL SEE WHO’S LEFT STANDING IN THE END

karazrel

thor + ptsd symptoms

rex-luscus

Does anybody else think “man, I’d do so many things if I felt better” but once you feel better you don’t do anything cuz you just want to chill and enjoy not feeling bad?

injuries-in-dust

Give a bored human a screwdriver and you’ll find a pile of scrap where your ship used to be, with a proud looking human sitting nearby.

injuries-in-dust

“Boredom is a dangerous thing to a human.”

“I don’t understand,” Chuul’s mandibles clicked nervously, “why not simply take the tool from the human.”

Minxx’s antennae stood straight up, a sign of shock, fear, or surprise, “You don’t simply take something from a human. If you do they will either turn the ship upside down trying to find it again, or they will replace it with something else that will lead to more destruction.

“I speak quite literally by the way. Human-Mark used to have a tool he called an “Hex Key” he used it to remove the doors to the clothing storage areas in his quarters because he was bored. When he lost it he literally turned the ship upside down by reversing the gravity.”

Chuul’s tentacles curled up defensively, “Gravity controls are locked, how-”

“No one knows how.” Minxx shook her small wings as the memory of suddenly falling upwards returned to her. “but his reasoning was that the tool would fall out of whatever hiding place it had come to rest within. He had not considered that all tables, chairs, equipment, and personnel, would also fall. It took weeks to clean.”

To be fair to the human, Mark had only intended to reverse the gravity in his own quarters but had, quote, “pushed the wrong button.” A sentence which would send fear through any intelligent creature in the known galaxy. To be completely unfair to the human, there were still stains on the ceiling in almost every room of the ship from dropped food, chemicals, various other liquids, and even a couple of empty bowels. Some races just didn’t find the idea of resting comfortably in their sleeping quarters, only to be suddenly awakened as they fell ten feet toward a ceiling which had now become a floor. Mark was no longer allowed near environmental controls.

Minxx continued, “He did not find this “Hex Key.” However, he did find the screwdriver and it seemed to please him when an owner was not located. The captain let him keep it since it seemed that it would keep him from doing any more strange things to locate his original lost tool. We did not consider-” she trailed off as her wings quivered again.

There was silence between them for a few moments, Minxx was almost unwilling to continue and Chuul was almost too afraid to press for more details. Slowly, but surely, Minxx calmed herself enough to speak again. “we did not consider what he may be able to do when armed with a leverage optimiser.”

“We were given shore leave while the ship was being fixed after the gravity incident. Thank goodness the captain took out act’s-of-human insurance or it would have cost the profits from our next five cargo hauls.” The premiums were high, but it was worth it. “After 14 rotations, human-Mark began to complain over the lack of stimulation, he called it “bored.” On the 15th rotation he disappeared for some time and he had hoped he had found some new activity to occupy his time.”

Chuul did, but at the same time didn’t, want to know, “Had he?”

Minxx waved her antennae in confirmation, “he had. He was located in one of the cargo holds, using the screwdriver to dismantle one of the mining probes. To, quote “see how it worked.” It was almost 90% deconstructed.”

Mark had claimed it was almost 10% REconstructed, as he was trying to put it back together again, but couldn’t quite remember where all the parts went. In Mark’s words, the captain was a “glass half-empty kinda guy” (whatever that meant) and wrote DEconstructed on the claim form for a replacement probe.

Chuul’s natural camouflage kicked in and they took on the colour of the chair they were sitting on. “Those probes have no screws for the leverage optimiser to use, how did he-”

Minxx’s wings shivered again, “no one knows how. He just did.”

Chuul was silent for a moment. He’d never served on a ship with a human before. He’d heard they made things “interesting” and if you ever got into trouble, a human was the very best thing to ever have on your side. It was why they were so many job opportunities for humans in the alliance. All the same…the thought of a human causing such damage and destruction just because of a lack of mental, or physical, stimulation was a more than a little frightening. What if the human wanted to see how the engines worked, or the weapons?!! “Maybe I should transfer to another ship.”

Minxx’s antennae curled, a smile to her race. “You are safe. The captain has found a way to occupy our humans free time. During our last stopover, he commissioned a shiny orb be constructed.”

Chuul coked their head, “what is a shiny orb?”

Minxx’s curled antennae moved up an down; a sign of mild laughter. “It is nothing. A sphere made of shiny metals, humans do like shiny things, roughly two feet diameter made of a collection of gears, levers, screws and switches which appear complex and should have a function, but do entirely nothing. The captain handed it to Human-Mark and stated: “see if you can fix this.” and Mark has been “tinkering” with it during his off-duty hours for almost 24 rotations now. He can take it apart and rebuild it as many times as he likes, but it will never perform any task.”

Chuul was just thinking about how their captain must be a genius, when the door to the mess hall opened and Human-Mark entered. He was carrying the shiny orb under one arm, and his screwdriver in the other hand. He looked around, seemingly not noticing any of the crew members. He smiled when he spotted an empty liquid container and sat down at the table with the cup.

Chuul and Minxx watched curiously as Mark set the orb on the table in front of the cup. He used the screwdriver to tighten one small screw and flipped a switch. At once there was a whirring and clicking of clockwork, a blinking of lights hidden in the depths of the machine and even a TING from a small bell. Then a small funnel-shaped piece of metal opened up in the side of the machine and poured a small amount of hot, black, liquid into the cup.

Mark jumped to his feet, pumping the air and yelling loudly enough to send Chuul’s camouflage reflex off again. He grabbed the orb, abandoning the cup of steaming hot liquid, and moved to the door.

Minxx stared after them, “Human-Mark?”

Mark only paused for a second in the doorway. He was prominently displaying his predatory teeth. Chuul had read about these “smiles” but it was still disturbing to see. “Can’t stop Minxy. I gotta let the captain know I fixed his coffee maker.”

With that, he left. Leaving Chuul and Minxx frozen in place, dumbfounded.

Wherever Chuul was going to transfer to, Minxx began to hope she could get a posting on the same ship.

callmebliss

diesel-park

@what-are-even-humans

knit-mage

I need this

tamaharu

okay but like. carrie white was in the right

tamaharu

traumatised girl is bullied by her peers and relentlessly religiously abused by her mother and just wants to be a normal well liked girl? faces an event no one warned her about that scares her and in reponse her peers and mother terrorize her? and begins developing powers she doesnt understand and cant control? and another girl employs her boyfriend to help her feel normal except the girls that bullied her continue to traumatize her on what she felt was the best night of her life by killing the boy she was with and drenching her in the thing that rehashes the initial, horrific catalyst? carrie white didnt do anything wrong

waitinghopingliving

Carrie White: *brutally kills all of her tormentors with her psychic powers*

Me:

drownedinlight

So I reread the book lately for my podcast, and what’s interesting is that Carrie doesn’t even set out to kill anyone at first. She wants to make the sprinklers go off so that everyone else gets drenched the way she did. Carrie actually leaves the prom, goes and lies on the front lawn, then thinks, “Hey, I have psychic powers, and I can totally accomplish this reverse prank.” The only thing is the use of her psychic abilities degrades her ability to reason (no, really, that’s something King explicitly wrote out). So when she locks the doors on everyone and then sets off t he sprinklers, it causes an electrical fire. But Carrrie’s doing so much psychic work (you could say “carrying such a heavy mental load”) that she’s unable to reason beyond the fact that the fire will also punish these people who just laughed at her for getting covered in blood. And once that happens, Carrie’s like, “hey, fire’s such a great idea. You know who could use more of it? This entire fucking town.”

ursulaklegun-deactivated2024122

Keiko is a legend

intangible-rice

When I was 17 my appendix ruptured because I thought I was just having period cramps and didn’t go to the hospital so don’t tell me PMS symptoms are no big deal

lingering-spirit

this actually happened to me during my math final and i didn’t think anything of it and when i was later admitted to the hospital my math prof was asking me ‘you didn’t have to take the final! why didn’t you tell me it hurt?!?!’ and i told him i’ve had cramps worse.

he gave me 100

kadenonio

This is actually an extremely common occurrence simply because in sex ed they don’t teach you how to tell the difference between menstrual cramps and other more serious pains. The way to tell the difference between cramps and appendicitis is that while menstrual cramps are generalized toward the middle of the stomach below the belly button, pain from a swollen or burst appendix will start in the middle of the stomach and relocate to only the lower right side, even lower than menstrual cramps, and is a very localized pain. It also comes on extremely suddenly and will worsen over time or when you make a sudden movement, like a cough or a sneeze.

Basically, if you’re feeling any sort of pain, even if it’s menstrual cramps, don’t hesitate to tell the school nurse or a parent, or if you’re out of school and home even make a doctor’s appointment. Chances are if your cramps are that bad there’s something they can do to improve that as well.

vandigo-deactivated20180131

I am boosting the shit out of that reply, because I am twenty-fucking-five years old and did not know how to tell the two pains apart

teacupdream

Adding another diagnostic tool! This is something we use in the ER called the rebound test. Basically, appendicitis and cramps react differently to certain things. If you’re still not sure if you have cramps or appendicitis, take two fingers and press them into your abdomen where the pain is (try repeating this on the lower right quadrant of the abdomen just to be sure.)

When you press in firmly, it will probably hurt. Here’s the test: LET GO. Does it get better or get worse? Appendicitis will immediately hurt worse when you let go. Cramps will not. Go to the ER if the rebound test makes it worse!

rainbowrowell

THE REBOUND TEST IS REALLY IMPORTANT.

My husband got sent home from the ER with a rupturing appendix. When he came back and was rushed into surgery, the surgeon was super angry – “Why didn’t anyone do the rebound test?!”

deinde-prandium

All great info, but there is another lesson to be learned here: if you’re in major pain, it’s probably important - so don’t let anyone tell you it’s not. There is a documented pattern of women who go to the ER with complaints of pain being dismissed as overreacting…when in reality women have an incredibly high tolerance for pain, to the point that some don’t even realize exactly how serious their condition is. These stories only serve to illustrate this point.

allthyvexations

Reblog to literally save a life.

tvylxrrr

Every time I see this..

yo-daddys-my-bitch

May the 10 of Pentacles bless your account with more money than you can spend. 💵✨

hermes-is-my-homeboy

10 of Pentz came thruuu

violaslayvis

Omg this actually works!!! Thank you 10 of Pentacles!!!

borkdork

I could seriously use this money right now….

ashashi-corner

Please give me my refund of 400$ soon…

hermes-is-my-homeboy

I feel obligated to reblog this every time it shows up in my dash

hermes-is-my-homeboy

No bragging, just 100% floored and grateful. Work hard, maintain a positive attitude, and believe that anything can happen.

virgocity

So I reblogged this exactly a week ago because I thought it was funny and uh lo and behold, a family friend wrote me a big ol’ check just to help me out of a tough financial spot AND my bank refunded me $32 for fees they’d originally taken out. SO UH YEAH. Reblogging this again in hopes that it brings equally good fortune to my followers.