Some sort of unoptimized wizard/druid multiclass

30 yrs old, female, paramedic (captain), autistic, pre-med non-traditional student, admirer of birds and moths

[todaysbird]

Can we hear about your Jolenes 🥺

oh yeah, the Jolenes!

so I’m an envirosci major and in high school i started taking some courses through our local community college. for my biology lab, one of our experiments was a common one; we raised brine shrimp in water of varying salinity to show how the salinity impacted the shrimp’s development. after the experiment was complete, we were instructed to dispose of the shrimp by pouring bleach into the containers.

for those who don’t know, brine shrimp are Sea Monkeys; they’re almost invisible, tiny little shrimp that can’t really have a pet relationship with you, but you can keep them! i did not want to destroy my shrimp. so i simply opted not to.

and then i used the rest of the packet of eggs i’d been given. Ten. Thousand. Eggs.

this is my only remaining documentation of Jolene:

The cloudy water? Yeah, that’s Jolene. All 10000.

Anyway, the shrimp lived a happy, if not very productive life for around a year (!!!), dying off and breeding so there was always some activity in the tank. it was honestly a huge pain in the ass. I don’t recommend having this many brine shrimp for any reason. The photo of the tank here didn’t include other objects I added for Shrimprichment; they had it pretty good. I hope, at least. There’s not a lot of resources on keeping brine shrimp as pets outside of Sea Monkeys, because why would you?

At some point, my brother dropped something in the tank, and the Jolenes went out with a bang. Which did make me sad, but it was also kind of a relief, because I was moving (14 hrs by car) and at that point had convinced myself I needed to move gallon jugs of Jolene with me, as there was really nothing else to do with her other than dump her; there’s not a huge brine shrimp rehoming community. Rest in peace, sweet Shrimp Cloud.

[aqua-cultured]

hey @aralintheobsessive what the fuck?

[aralintheobsessive]

#so was it brine shrimp shaped or regular shrimp shaped?#that's fucked up lmao reportedly, brine shrimp shaped yup sure was fucked up. no satisfory explanation was ever found that I know of. The giga-seamonkey simply lived out it's lifespan. Alone in it's little magic castle tank.

[jamielovesjam]

Briana Boston didn't threaten anyone.

When my grandmother was sent a death threat through text message, I reported it to the police. The officer told me that "it's not considered a death threat unless the message mentions a weapon and a deadline".

As a result, they didn't do anything. Not even a verbal warning to that person.

Or, there's a double standard when it comes to billionaires and big corporations. Who'd have thought.

[phinarei]

I'm going to keep screaming from the rooftops:

They are treating these CEOs as if they're members of our government. The cops don't touch threats unless they're made against political leaders. They don't shut down cities for a manhunt unless the victim is a political leader. They don't charge people with terrorism unless the target is political. They are admitting publicly that CEOs and corporations are the ones running this country.

Briana Boston is pretty much being charged with threatening the crown. And that should scare the hell out of people.

[voltaspistol]

[tunneldweller]

[ID: thread by @\parkroseperma.bsky.social:

If what Brianna Boston said is a legitimate threat that warrants charges and $100k bond, every man who tweeted "your body, my choice" needs to be in prison.

Remember ladies, when the cops tell you there's nothing they can do until he actually hurts you, that only applies to women, not corporations.

end ID]

[payasita]

motorcycle guy in FULL teddy bear kigarumi on my commute home. 5pm, winter, hood Over the helmet and not flapping in wind (secured somehow???). bumper to bumper traffic on country road. if they were wearing shoes they were Inside the booties and i still cant decide if thats impressive or upsetting

[payasita]

i think i was born with some kind of innate mortal terror that this person just wasn't

[squish-this]

I don’t know what Daniel Radcliffe is doing these days and this clip doesn’t help but here’s my thoughts on the matter:

[apocalypticvalraven]

After getting that Harry Potter bag as a kid, he's now doing whatever he wants, and I love that for him

[chazkuangshi]

I think there's something to be said that saying the words "Deny, Defend, Depose, you're next" to an insurance sales rep can get you arrested for 'threats of mass homicide' or whatever with a threat of 15 years in prison

But when I was a manager in a fast food restaurant I've had customers throw food at me, demand for my personal phone number with an added threat of "Well I'll just have to FIND it", customers charging past the front counter to physically intimidate me and my coworkers, screaming and swearing, demands to know what time I get out of work, demands to know when my manager would be at work as a threat, people sitting in their car waiting for me to finish closing because they were angry at me, causing me to stay in the office watching the camera waiting for them to drive away...

But none of those incidents are arrest-able offenses, not one, any time I called the cops on any customer I would just hear excuses like " "there isn't anything illegal about calling a restaurant", that nothing physical happened and therefore there's nothing they could do, to call back and let them know if anything else happens

Idk, just think it's A TEENY TINY BIT ODD

Cop in the news goes "words have consequences" as if people don't berate and threaten fast food and retail workers every day

[shrineart]

EXACTLY.

Like I said we literally had someone make a national threat and everyone laughed it off at my work.

I've heard people get threatened with all kinds of shit and no one cared. It was just something you had to "leave at work at the end of the day" something you had to "move on" from.

But lo and behold when CEOs and rich people feel threatened suddenly it's a fucking huge ass emergency. Suddenly, it's something they can take you to jail over.

[ashgunnywolf]

Honestly, with all the tradwife cooking trash circulating, it only makes me love B Dylan Hollis more for baking vintage recipes while being openly gay, making sexual jokes, and screaming at the ingredients. He's the antithesis of every soft-spoken cishet woman cooking for her husband and children. You don't have to be an idyllic cottagecore housewife to cook.

[bluenightcomedies]

⭐since nobody else did, i wanna point out that it's not just vintage recipes, most of what he does is depression-era cooking, which was made by poor people for poor people in a period of severe poverty, intended to be easy and cheap but still tasty and filling. so he's also a good source of recipes most ppl can afford and make :3

icebox pies are our personal fave!

[mousedetective]

@strangedreamings

[strangedreamings]

He once said he beats the ingredients with just a utensil instead of a mixer because he knows not everyone can afford one.

[existennialmemes]

BCBS: Yeah if your surgery takes longer than our admin staff with no medical training thinks it should, you have to pay out of pocket for the anesthesia.

UHC CEO: [assassinated in the street]

BCBS: ... You know we were just joking about that anesthesia thing ha ha we would never. We love keeping our brains inside customers happy.

[animentality]

[magnoliaalchemist]

[whatevergreen]

The Polk County Sheriff's Office deliberately misled people into believing that Briana Boston had been released without charges. They shouldn't be allowed to get away with it.

[assiraphales]

you guys made luigi mangione trend for days and I need to see the same energy for brianna boston. she is a 43 year old mother of three who ended a phone call with blue cross blue shield (after being denied a claim) “delay deny depose, you people are next” and is now being held under a 100,000$ bond and could face FIFTEEN years of prison if charged. she has no weapons, her record is clean, and yet she is being held behind bars. they are afraid of the public and are trying to subdue. do not let them!!!! be outraged that our freedom of speech is being threatened!!!!! deny defend depose! free brianna boston!

[megmelodia]

Good news, she is out with all charges dropped

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

This is apparently false (a lie, given the Polk Co Sheriff's reporting), she has not been released without charges, she has been placed under house arrest pending trial

https://www.wfla.com/news/briana-boston-case-how-would-attorneys-defend-against-threat-accusation/

Do not take your eyes off her case. The announcement that she had been "released without charges" is almost certainly an effort to disrupt the immediate groundswell of public sympathy this exhausted and persecuted single mother is receiving.

[kaijuno]

My dad has bees. Today, I went to his house and he showed me all the honey he had gotten from the hives. He took the lid off a 5-gallon bucket full of honey and on top of the honey there were 3 little bees, struggling. They were covered in sticky honey and drowning. I asked him if we could help them and he said he was sure they wouldn't survive. Casualties of honey collection I suppose.

I asked him again if we could at least get them out and kill them quickly, after all he was the one who taught me to put a suffering animal (or bug) out of its misery. He finally conceded and scooped the bees out of the bucket. He put them in an empty Chobani yogurt container and put the plastic container outside.

Because he had disrupted the hive with the earlier honey collection, there were bees flying all over outside.

We put the 3 little bees in the container on a bench and left them to their fate. My dad called me out a little while later to show me what was happening. These three little bees were surrounded by all their sisters (all of the bees are females) and they were cleaning the sticky nearly dead bees, helping them to get all of the honey off of their bodies. We came back a short time later and there was only one little bee left in the container. She was still being tended to by her sisters.

When it was time for me to leave, we checked one last time and all three of the bees had been cleaned off enough to fly away and the container was empty.

Those three little bees lived because they were surrounded by family and friends who would not give up on them, family and friends who refused to let them drown in their own stickiness and resolved to help until the last little bee could be set free.

Bee Sisters. Bee Peers. Bee Teammates.

We could all learn a thing or two from these bees.

Bee kind always.

[animentality]

[skunkes]

[commoncoldz]

[hatsune-yeetku]

The holy trinity

[butternut-soda]

Important addition!! https://www.reddit.com/r/inthenews/comments/14bpckz/a_white_supremacist_took_mdma_for_a_study_and_it/

[good-fwiend-in-wome]

jesse we need to cook empathy jesse

[nina-floret]

Shrooms also do that

[kira-serialfaggot]

Its time to join the war on drugs, on the side of drugs

[dumplinglove]

ur government assigned gender for the day is the first thing u get when u click this link to a randomised wikipedia article. NO REROLLS . i am the  trollsteineggje mountain in norway

[sandersstudies]

When a “funny” dude likes you and anytime he sees you anywhere he will be like “yoooo wassup it’s Jelissa!” (Or whatever) like “omg Miranda is here whaaaat” for literally no reason why do they do that

[sandersstudies]

They are more likely to do this the more meek and shy they perceive you too. They are less likely to do this if they think you’re loud and confident. Idk what it is it’s not even necessarily bad or annoying it’s just like why.

[sandersstudies]

This is a VERY sweet take and I hope it’s sometimes true

[sandersstudies]

Okay I thought this behavior was annoying before but now it’s actually quite endearing thank you extroverts who want introverts to feel included.

[digidiskette]

There was a stoner I liked very much when I was playing age of Conan some ten or more years ago. He would roll up into the vent, yell my name and rip a fat one on mic before vanishing again. Always made me feel special. It was like a dog that would greet you by barking as loud as possible and wagging his tail so hard it leaves a dent in the wall when your car rolls up. Everyone was luke warm to cold on him but he was my fucking buddy and I loved him because he made me feel wanted which I sure as shit wasn’t getting at home!!

Eventually I made the decision to start emulating behaviors that made me feel happy and started doing that in other places. To this day my whole discord chants the nickname of whomever joins the call, like a pack of seagulls who just locked eyes on a delicious spare French fry. There’s nothing quite as amazing as walking into a room and hearing a chorus of loved ones drawing out your name like they were going to sweep you off your feet if they could, slash like a pack of feral dogs ready to bowl you the fuck over.

[zathorn]

I've reblogged this before but fuck does this last story really make it