Apparently they had tumblr in medieval times

Sorry to all the history nerds but this will not be historically accurate (if u couldn't tell) My pronouns are he/him but don't tell anyone I have pronouns cause they'll throw me out for "being gay" I am gay but nobody gets to know that

[medieval-homie]

I doth been busy lately

Gnome hunting season was rough

[medieval-homie]

Guards take them out…… to dinner 😏🍽️🌹

[evilknightoathbreaker]

hate when i get sent on a quest of great import only to finally realise at the end of it that it was merely all a test designed to teach me a valuable lesson. like bruh i dont want to become a better person i want to fail ignominiously and then die

[medieval-homie]

the king is cruel, every time I’m sent to battle I hope I die but NOOOO because I used medieval superglue to glue this armor to thineself when I was but a wee lad means I’m a walking wall

[gobblefunk-the-gremlin]

I have a single prisoner in my dungeon.

[wizard-at-large]

[another-goddamn-wizard]

@medieval-homie remember that time we all met in prison

[medieval-homie]

how did you get my medieval tumblr blog name

[satan-offical]

How do I say good boy/ girl if their non-binary? Hypothetically of course

[medieval-homie]

Splendid work being of non descript gender

[jeff-offical]

So fucking done with songs about romance and sex, I'm gonna write a song about fucking pillaging a village or running with the faeries

[medieval-homie]

you and I have the opposite problem, too many ballads are about children getting abducted by fairies and kings burning down villages

I need more songs about getting high on medieval weed and kissing the sons and daughters of important nobles

[jeff-offical]

THAT is an exeception because you are a homie and medieval.

And for you:

Moon is bright Fire is too Cos' tonight I've got it bad for you

Your father's red wine And herbs from the wood Let me have your time Don't say no (You probaly should)

Ehh motivation has run out because kris demure

[medieval-homie]

I will sing this at the next tavern run I do with my fellow knights

Thank you

[jeff-offical]

So fucking done with songs about romance and sex, I'm gonna write a song about fucking pillaging a village or running with the faeries

[medieval-homie]

you and I have the opposite problem, too many ballads are about children getting abducted by fairies and kings burning down villages

I need more songs about getting high on medieval weed and kissing the sons and daughters of important nobles

[ieee-official]

Once you get to a certain level of advanced maths, you basically become a wizard.

[yoneda-emma]

this is what a page of my wizards spellbook looks like

[medieval-homie]

I must inquire about this with my wizard pal

[beardedmrbean]

[medieval-homie]

what’s… what… what does any of this mean? What’s a chat gpt? Why are those people wearing bright orange and yellow hats?

why is that thing so big??

[t4llyyy-deactivated20260529]

chatgpt is sort of like a box which “knows” everything. the bright orange and yellow hats are so that people can see the construction workers more clearly and their heads will be more protected if hit upon by blunt objects. that “thing” is a building which is being constructed.

[medieval-homie]

how strange… thank you kind stranger, may your cows survive this year

[medieval-homie]

Riding my horse right after an ale

heavens that bush resembles a quail

dui? How about you die?

I’ll gallop a hundred miles an hour

If you’re not aware my horse is well fed

I will get your ex-loving head

pulverize this weed (not the good kind)

with my loyal steed

The payback of your greed

STEED

[medieval-homie]

Haven’t you heard? Sir Louis Fuckface got an infection.

OH HEAVENS

(Tbh I’m not surprised 🫢)

[medieval-homie]

me and Isabelle have been rekindling our friendship, her and Lady Gwendolyn are still dating but times our tough so I need as many friends as I can get

[beardedmrbean]

[medieval-homie]

what’s… what… what does any of this mean? What’s a chat gpt? Why are those people wearing bright orange and yellow hats?

why is that thing so big??

[elvis-shrimpley]

Oh!

[medieval-homie]

so THATS who took the name

[kaijuno]

[medieval-homie]

exactly *takes a long huff of my medieval weed cigarette*

[medieval-homie]

me an idiot: the siege is over

the neighboring kingdom: haha fuck no

[medieval-homie]

Yo it’s been a while

there was a siege and shit

👍