Can you elaborate on your Obikin post? I would like to hear about what you have to say about how it would be realistically in canon. Also I'm curious about what you think of Obi-Wan's and Padmé's relationship, i mean I read about your posts but also I want some deeper insight into it. particularly in the context of Obikin or/canon because i don't think they are friends as some fans thinks. made worse by the Kenobi show (which I liked but also the character assassination of Anakin there killed me)
Thank you! This is honestly one of my favorite things to ramble about because I think fandom tends to flatten Obi-Wan and Anakin's relationship into something much simpler than what the films actually present.
The short answer is that I don't think Obikin would realistically work in canon, not because they don't love each other but because they love each other in fundamentally incompatible ways.
A lot of fanworks imagine that if they simply admitted their feelings, everything would magically fall into place. Personally, I don't buy that. In fact, I think confessing would probably make things worse.
Obi-Wan's identity is inseparable from the Jedi Order. People sometimes describe him as someone who would abandon everything for Anakin, but I honestly don't think that's supported by the films. Obi-Wan spends almost his entire life trying to become the ideal Jedi. The Code isn't just a set of rules to him, it is the framework through which he understands himself, morality, and the galaxy. Loving Anakin already creates guilt because it brushes against attachment; a romantic relationship would amplify that conflict enormously. I don't think Obi-Wan would suddenly stop believing in the Jedi because he fell in love. If anything, I think he'd try even harder to suppress it.
And Anakin... well, Anakin is almost the exact opposite.
He's incredibly emotionally direct. When he loves someone, he loves them with everything he has. He's not good at compartmentalizing his feelings, nor do I think he'd want to. If Anakin loved Obi-Wan romantically, I genuinely think he'd want to be able to hold his hand in public, argue with him, make up with him, build a home with him-- just exist together without pretending they were strangers every time another Jedi walked into the room.
That's fundamentally incompatible with Obi-Wan's worldview. Because for Obi-Wan, the relationship would almost certainly have to remain hidden not just because of the rules, but because he genuinely believes those rules exist for a reason. For Anakin, secrecy has always been synonymous with loneliness. We already see what hiding his marriage to Padmé does to him. I can't imagine that dynamic becoming healthier with Obi-Wan, especially because Obi-Wan would likely carry an enormous amount of guilt over it.
Ironically, I think the relationship would also have a strange pseudo-incestuous quality to it that neither of them could really escape. Not because they are family by blood, obviously, but because the emotional roles they occupy are already blurred. Obi-Wan is simultaneously Anakin's teacher, commanding officer, guardian, older brother, and (whether Obi-Wan is comfortable admitting it or not) the closest thing Anakin has to a parental figure after Qui-Gon's death. Anakin himself says, "You're the closest thing I have to a father." (Please bear with me constantly using this as an example lol) which tells us how Anakin understands the relationship. Trying to transform that into a romance would require untangling years of emotional dependency, authority, and familial attachment. And I honestly don't know if either of them could do that, there'll always be a dubious vibe in it.
There's also the unavoidable power imbalance. Even if Anakin is an adult by Aotc, Obi-Wan has been one of the defining authority figures in his life since he was nine years old. Their relationship begins as one where Obi-Wan has almost complete institutional, educational, and emotional authority over him. That's not Obi-Wan's fault (it was simply the structure of the Jedi Order( but it would make a romantic relationship incredibly complicated. Healthy relationships require both people to be able to meet each other as equals, and I don't think Obi-Wan and Anakin ever truly do that while the Order exists.
People sometimes compare Obikin to Anidala because they're both forbidden relationships, but I actually think they'd fail for completely different reasons. Padmé and Anakin choose secrecy because of political consequences and because of the Jedi Code. Obi-Wan would choose secrecy because he sincerely believes the Code is right. That's a huge difference. Anakin wouldn't just feel like they were hiding from the Jedi—he'd eventually start wondering whether Obi-Wan was hiding him. Given Anakin's abandonment issues, I think that distinction would slowly eat away at him.
I also think they'd argue constantly. Not because they dislike each other, but because their communication styles are almost perfectly designed to frustrate one another.
When Obi-Wan is upset, he withdraws. He intellectualizes. He falls back on duty and restraint. When Anakin is upset, he wants to talk now. He wants reassurance now. He wants to know exactly where he stands.
Obi-Wan often thinks giving someone space is respectful. Whereas Anakin often interprets distance as rejection.
It's a very terrible combination.
The tragedy of their relationship is that they're often responding to entirely different conversations. it's why I always come back to the "You're the closest thing I have to a father." / "Then why don't you listen to me?" exchange. I think it summarizes their entire relationship in two sentences. Obi-Wan hears, "You're my authority figure." Anakin means, "You're my family." Neither of them responds to what the other is actually trying to communicate. They're having two completely different conversations without realizing it.
I think that disconnect would only become more painful if romance entered the equation.
As for Padmé and Obi-Wan, I actually think fandom tends to exaggerate how close they are. I don't dislike the idea of them being friends, but I don't think canon really gives us enough to call them close friends. They're certainly allies, trust one another professionally and have a level of respect for each other. They share concern for Anakin. But friendship requires intimacy, and I don't think we ever really see that.
Most of their interactions revolve around Anakin, politics, or the current crisis. We don't really get scenes where they're simply spending time together because they enjoy each other's company. Compare that to Padmé and Sabé, or Padmé and her handmaidens, or Obi-Wan and I say maybe Quinlan. Those relationships feel much more naturally reciprocal. Whereas, Obi-Wan and Padmé's are not, to me, a soft little friendship duo with a ton of private emotional closeness. Their connection is real, but it is limited.
Not only that but I've always felt that Obi-Wan and Padmé's relationship is almost entirely mediated through Anakin.
They both care about him.
They both worry about him.
They both love him, albeit in completely different ways.
He's the bridge between them.
Ironically, I think they also misunderstand each other. Obi-Wan underestimates how important Padmé is to Anakin until it's far too late, while Padmé underestimates just how deeply Obi-Wan cares about Anakin because Obi-Wan expresses that care in such restrained, almost impersonal ways.
One thing I always find fascinating is Revenge of the Sith. People often point to Obi-Wan saying, "Anakin is the father, isn't he?" as proof that he'd known about the marriage all along. But I'm not really convinced... To me, that scene reads less like confirmation and more like realization. He's putting together pieces that suddenly make sense. Everything clicks in that moment. And even then, Obi-Wan's immediate concern isn't outrage that Anakin broke the Code. It's stopping a galactic catastrophe. That tells me that, despite everything, Obi-Wan still prioritizes duty over the deeply personal conversation that probably should have happened years earlier.
I also think Padmé matters a lot in the Obikin/canon conversation because she is one of the few people who can stand between Obi-Wan and Anakin without being swallowed by their dynamic. But what makes that so compelling is that Padmé sees Anakin as a person first, while Obi-Wan tends to see him through duty first. That does not make Obi-Wan cruel, but it does make him a bad fit for the kind of reassurance Anakin needed. Padmé is one of the few people who can speak to Anakin with softness without immediately turning him into a problem to be managed. Obi-Wan, by contrast, almost always returns to structure, restraint, and the Code. That is part of why I think the Obi-Wan/Anakin dynamic is so tragic even in canon: they love each other, but they do not love each other in the same language.
However... the Kenobi series complicated this for me. Just as you said, it did kill Anakin's character.
I enjoyed parts of it, but I struggled with how it handled Anakin. Some scenes felt like they leaned much harder into "Anakin was always aggressive and unstable," whereas the films present a much more layered young man—impulsive, yes, but also deeply compassionate, idealistic, funny, awkward, brilliant, and capable of extraordinary kindness. Sometimes it felt as though the tragedy was simplified into "Anakin had anger issues," when I think his fall is much more psychologically and emotionally complex than that.
Ultimately, I think that's why I don't really buy soft, domestic Obikin as something that could naturally exist within canon.
Could they have loved each other? Absolutely.
Would that love have healed either of them? I honestly don't think so.
If anything, it would probably expose every unresolved wound they already had.
Obi-Wan would love Anakin while feeling guilty for loving him. Anakin would love Obi-Wan while constantly wondering whether Obi-Wan loved the Jedi Order more than he loved him.
So while soft, domestic Obikin is adorable in fan art and AUs (which I'll happily read without complaints) I don't think canon supports it very well.
Canon Obikin isn't really a romance that could simply happened, and even then, would it really make a difference in their already unstable relationship?
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