Thighs? Thighs.

Hey, you found my blog! Apparently I can't make my description very long because tumblr breaks. I'm Australian and have a habit of making way too many bad jokes. Feel free to ask for any other info.

[actual-haise]

[nz45south]

I present to you a drama, comedy, horror. This story killed me three times.

[vampire-crimson]

"for the first time"

[waspsalad]

The long-tailed tailor

A crafty and fluffy kobold, skilled with a needle and thread! She’s up for grabs; her auction can be found here: https://ych.art/auction/195240

[nealashitposts]

So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry. So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful. She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal. He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet... "Oh you have a dick?" "... yeah." He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says "Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"

And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride. My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can please my girl but I'll show them!"

[anosci]

so, boobs, huh? that's definitely been the talk of the town lately. you should consider getting yourself a pair if you haven't already.

[anosci]

(you can equip boobs in your armors menu)

[melodyquill]

*frantically looking for keybinds to access the menu*

[melodyquill]

Catgirl who tries to cheer you up by bringing you a dead bird then making it dance around

She's a nekomancer

[just-roman-around]

What is your fvorite eeveelution, no nuance, no Eevee :3

Flareon

Jolteon

Vaporeon

Leafeon

Espeon

Umbreon

Glaceon

Sylveon

Voting ended onApr 26, 2025

[galionne-vibin]

Spin this wheel to get a word and this wheel to get an animal. Congrats, this is now your new MGS codename.

Do you like it?

It's great! I love it!

I like it!

It's okay I guess

Uh...

The codename guy hates me

Voting ended onFeb 22, 2025

Reblog with your codename btw I'm curious-

(I'm Acid Cobra)

[the-long-dog]

❤️

[pankendev]

you see people describing themselves as "loving food" or "loving music" and you scoff because who doesn't? and then it turns out there's people who genuinely do live in silence with a mayonnaise sandwich for every meal. world is so vast

[melodyquill]

Every Saturday morning, on my way to volunteer at cat adoptions, I stop by Baker's Delight and get a fresh white tin vienna with sesame seeds, then every day that week I'll have peanut butter or nutella sandwiches on my drive to work. On the same day I buy it, at maximum freshness, I might literally just butter a piece of bread and have it on its own. Hell yeah.

I don't have or need a huge amount of routine in my life, but this is one thing I won't flex on. I love my bakers delight bread and if anyone says "but it's BORING to have the same thing every day," I say fuck 'em. Everyone has different views on just about everything under the sun. If that mayonnaise sandwich makes you happy, be happy. If that distresses someone else, that's their problem.

[melodyquill]

heehoo, I am not an artist.

As soon as Jay posted the 'anything goes' Melodi fanart contest I was like "I know EXACTLY what to draw."

[luvtonique]

Jay's Path of Exile 2 PC Code Fan-Art Raffle Thingamajig With a Long Name!

Hey there! Ho there!

I have 2 PC codes for Path of Exile 2's Early Access! (Important note: These are not the only prizes this is just sorta why I thought of the contest. Other prizes are Art [from me], Music [from me] and potentially a character to be designed and put into Melodi, the game I'm making.)

I'll be giving away both of them (and other prizes) in a raffle! Here's how to get entries into the raffle:

For 1 Entry: Simply reblog this post (and have your DMs enabled so I can tell you if you win)! For 10 Entries: Draw fan-art of literally any of these characters from my upcoming game, Melodi!

Rules about the fan-art: None! They do not have to be drawn well, all they have to be is recognizable as the character. You can also be as horribly offensive or cringe as you want. I will not disqualify ANYONE. You may even draw porn, you may even self-insert your OCs, you may even break canon, you may even draw gore, you may even draw the elves with nipples, there are NO LIMITS.

For Drawing 1: Deadline is December 17st. I will pick one person from the Reblogs and Art pool at complete random.

For Drawing 2: Deadline is December 24nd. This drawing will only be for people who drew fan-art that I feel is above and beyond the others. I will be collecting the best fan-arts from the start to the end of this and will show them to a group of friends. We will vote amongst ourselves on who the winner is.

All fan-art will be posted in my Discord with a link to your blog!

Entry Directions and Rules:

Post your art on Tumblr or Twitter under the tag #MelodiArtRaffle You may draw multiple pictures, but will only receive bonus entries (1-5) if the art looks like effort and care was put in. If I cannot DM you when you win, I will re-roll and give the code to someone else instead! Tell those artist friends of yours! (Important: You will not be told how many entries you have.)

If there's a substantial amount of entries I will add additional prizes such as art of your OC, songs written for you, etc.

Bonus: One piece of fan-art that is absolutely above and beyond all others in my eyes may be selected to have an NPC character designed to be immortalized in my upcoming game, Melodi (this will only happen if one particular piece blows me away).

That's it! Have fun!

(PS: Don't have a Tumblr/Twitter or want to post your art directly to me? Join my Discord, link above [pink line], and DM me directly with your art! My DMs are always open and I will reply to all entries no matter how cringe and low effort!)

[gouinisme]

do you

shower in the morning

shower in the evening

secret third thing somehow

Voting ended onDec 12, 2024

tell me why you bastards

[clonerightsagenda]

I witnessed something wonderful on my walk today.

We went down to the park, where the lake drains under a footbridge into a stone-lined gully that someone generous might call a creek. Usually it’s a trickle at best, but it poured last night, and the water was still moving pretty briskly. 

As we got closer, I heard kids yelling, so we went over to have a look. I was nervous, because earlier this summer we’d seen a mother cat and her kittens hanging out a few times in the (then bone dry) spillway. We hadn’t seen them in over a month, but I didn’t want to think of them being there when the water started coming down.

Instead, when I looked over the side of the bridge, I saw a skinny kid (maybe 8-10 years old) carrying an enormous catfish clasped in both arms.

The catfish had to be the length of this kid’s torso, and it was flopping around trying to escape, but the kid doggedly kept climbing over mud and slippery rocks until he reached the lake and chucked the fish in. And behind him came… another kid, holding a fish.

When the lake flooded, it must’ve washed a bunch of these catfish downstream, where they collected in pools. Now the water levels are starting to go down, and the fish are trapped, doomed to dry up and die. Not on these kids’ watch. As we watched, they rescued four fish, and one of the adults present said there were at least six left. The kids showed no sign of stopping. This is the kind of thing you love as a kid, a life or death mission you can throw your heart and soul into while getting gleefully covered in muck and slime. I was tempted to offer my assistance, but this was their Quest, and I did not want to impose.

When we continued on, the Great Fish Rescue was still going strong. Godspeed, kids. In a time of such great discord and meanspirited behavior, you will live on in my memory as a beacon of goodwill. 

[themythicalcodfish]

the children will grow up and move on and in the time of their greatest need will be attended by an utterly massive catfish

[into-the-weeds]

Researchers "Translate" Bat Talk. Turns Out, They Argue—A Lot

A machine learning algorithm helped decode the squeaks Egyptian fruit bats make in their roost, revealing that they

They found that the bat noises are not just random, as previously thought, reports Skibba. They were able to classify 60 percent of the calls into four categories. One of the call types indicates the bats are arguing about food. Another indicates a dispute about their positions within the sleeping cluster. A third call is reserved for males making unwanted mating advances and the fourth happens when a bat argues with another bat sitting too close. In fact, the bats make slightly different versions of the calls when speaking to different individuals within the group, similar to a human using a different tone of voice when talking to different people. Skibba points out that besides humans, only dolphins and a handful of other species are known to address individuals rather than making broad communication sounds. The research appears in the journal Scientific Reports.

[aroundmeblackbats]

forty arguing bats

[hevcrap]

[wiggerbeefer]

Bats be like

[shamebats]

Link to original

[thechekhov]

I need to run a survey really quick. This isn't serious, but I need people to cooperate and not cheat for the sake of it because it'll skew the results.

Imagine you wake up tomorrow and you realize you (and everyone else in the world) can turn into an animal (And back into a human) at will.

Please go to this link to see what animal it will be for you:

Random Animal Generator

Generated a random animal species: A goat, armadillo, orangutan, porpoise, cheetah... Nearly 200 different animals!

(this is random, and yes, you only get one, no redos)

With this in mind, please reply to the following questions as truthfully as possible based on your current situation. (Not an ideal fantasy one.)

How do you feel about this, in general?

Good! I like this animal.

Okay. I'm not thrilled but not disappointed.

Meh. Not the worst.

Not great. I'm pretty disappointed.

Horrible. This is my worst nightmare.

It's complicated./I'm conflicted.

Voting ended onAug 17, 2024

[thechekhov]

How often would you turn into this animal?

Pretty often, just for fun.

Pretty often, for a specific task.

Sometimes, just for fun.

Sometimes, to do something a human cannot.

Rarely, but still for fun.

Rarely, only if I absolutely need to.

Voting ended onAug 17, 2024

[thechekhov]

How open would you be about what animal you are?

I'd tell anyone and everyone!

I'd tell my friends and family.

I'd tell my closer friends and family.

I'd try to keep it mostly secret.

I'd prefer not to tell anyone, ever.

Voting ended onAug 17, 2024

[thechekhov]

Would you want to get to know other people who also transform into the same/similar animal?

Yeah! I'd join a subreddit or a club for sure!

Probably. I'd like to know what makes us similar.

Eh, only if it comes up in conversation naturally.

Not really. I don't think it'd connect us in any way.

No. It's not a good metric for friendship.

Voting ended onAug 17, 2024