Nothing More or Less @meredithftw - Tumblr Blog

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

should-be-sleeping

I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal 🐸 despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.

justprettygay

should-be-sleeping

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

toney-starks

calamardoybobesponja

1yellowpepper

Ok def was not expecting this level of relatability

tchaikovskaya

*submits this to the library of congress as a culturally, historically or aesthetically significant film*

fluffybunnyrowan

[video description and CC: Leslie Jordan holds a leather journal and talks to the camera with a sweet Southern accent. He says “Well hello fellow hunker-downers, coming to you high on half an Ambien. [laughs] My doctor prescribes 10mg when I can’t sleep, and I get so wound up over all this! But I only took half, otherwise I’d eat everything in the house.

But look, another way I calm down is I write in my journal! [opens up journal and flips through, showing writing and stickers on every page]. And I put little stickers, I decorate! I’m a high school cheerleader stuck in a 65 year old male body.

My Violette stickers came today, look! Aren’t they beautiful? [holds up sticker sheets of fruits/vegetables, children in fancy dress, cats, and rabbits as he talks]. I think i fell out of the womb and landed in my mother’s high heels. I just like things pretty. I think homosexuals were put on this earth, just to make things pretty! Rabbits.” /end]

maziekeen

dylnsohbrien

expiredpersona

medranochav

PERCHED💅🏼

somewhereinthedetails217

We should all be in fear of anyone strong enough to balance and literally support their entire mass in that pose on tiptoes.

dr-gloom

She ain’t even wearing a decent heel support like the lady behind her. No, this queen is wearing goddamn stilettos. You know how hard it is to walk in stilettos, let alone balance your weight on one foot? And she’s doing more than that, she’s literally resting all her weight on that foot. This is insane, she could kick all of our asses.

studying-inwonderland

Shes smiling.

wickedwonderlandd

She knows the power she wields

wastedpotentialsblog

bananabread108-deactivated20220

I laughed waaaay to hard at this

blasting-silence

Amazing Nature Phenomenons

ᴋᴀᴡᴀʜ ɪᴊᴇɴ (ʙʟᴜᴇ ᴠᴏʟᴄᴀɴᴏ) ɪɴᴅᴏɴᴇsɪᴀ

ᴛᴜʀǫᴜᴏɪsᴇ ɪᴄᴇ: ʟᴀᴋᴇ ʙᴀɪᴋᴀʟ-ʀᴜssɪᴀ

sᴜᴘᴇʀᴄᴇʟʟ sᴛᴏʀᴍ

ɢʀᴇᴇɴ ғʟᴀsʜ sᴜɴsᴇᴛ

sɴᴏᴡ ᴄʜɪᴍɴᴇʏ: ᴍᴏᴜɴᴛ ᴇʀʙᴜs-ᴀɴᴛᴀʀᴛɪᴄᴀ

sᴋʏ ᴘᴜɴᴄʜ

sᴛʀɪᴘᴇᴅ ɪᴄᴇʙᴇʀɢs:ᴀɴᴛᴀʀᴛɪᴄᴀ

ʟɪɢʜᴛ ᴘɪʟʟᴀʀs

sᴀʟᴀʀ ᴅᴇ ᴜʏᴜɴɪ (ʀᴇғʟᴇᴄᴛɪɴɢ ᴅᴇsᴇʀᴛ) ʙᴏʟɪᴠɪᴀ

ᴍᴀᴇʟsᴛʀᴏᴍ

ᴇʏᴇ ᴏғ sᴀʜᴀʀᴀ:ᴍᴀᴜʀɪᴛᴀɴɪᴀ

ғɪʀᴇ ʀᴀɪɴʙᴏᴡ

ᴘᴏʀᴏʀᴏᴄᴀ (ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴇɴᴅɪɴɢ ᴡᴀᴠᴇ) ᴀᴍᴀᴢᴏɴ ʀɪᴠᴇʀ-ʙʀᴀᴢɪʟ

ᴀᴜʀᴏʀᴀ ʙᴏʀᴇᴀʟɪs

ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ ʙʟᴜᴇ ʜᴏʟᴇ:ʙᴇʟɪᴢᴇ

ʀᴀɪɴʙᴏᴡ ᴇᴜᴄᴀʟʏᴘᴛᴜs ᴛʀᴇᴇs

sᴛᴏɴᴇ ғᴏʀᴇsᴛ:ᴍᴀᴅᴀɢᴀsᴄᴀʀ

ᴄᴀᴛᴀᴛᴜᴍʙᴏ ʟɪɢʜᴛɴɪɴɢ (ɴᴇᴠᴇʀᴇɴᴅɪɴɢ sᴛᴏʀᴍ) ᴠᴇɴᴇᴢᴜᴇʟᴀ

ᴍᴀᴍᴍᴀᴛᴜs ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅs

ᴡʜɪᴛᴇ ʀᴀɪɴʙᴏᴡ

ᴜɴᴅᴇʀᴡᴀᴛᴇʀ ᴄʀᴏᴘ ᴄɪʀᴄʟᴇs

ʙɪᴏʟᴜᴍɪɴᴇsᴄᴇɴᴛ ᴡᴀᴠᴇs

ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ ɢʟᴏʀʏ ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅs

ᴠᴏʟᴄᴀɴɪᴄ ʟɪɢʜᴛɪɴɢ

ɴᴀᴄʀᴇᴏᴜs ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅs

ʀᴀɪɴʙᴏᴡ ᴍᴏᴜɴᴛᴀɪɴs:ᴄʜɪɴᴀ

ʟᴇɴᴛɪᴄᴜʟᴀʀ ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅ

myownworldstayout

icouldhaveabettername-deactivat

Please take a look at how beautiful Earth is

anoctopus

The “underwater crop circles” are made by males of a certain species of pufferfish in order to attract mates.

fierceawakening

Neat!

catboyphobic-deactivated2021021

Super important video

i-have-no-gender-only-rage

One of the funniest failures of US school system is the fact they are legally obligated to teach us all the states but they never actually show how big Alaska is like I have actually had teachers tell me that Texas is the biggest state. We have all just convinced ourselves that Alaska is that small shrunken down thing on most US maps and the people that know it's the largest state can almost never accurately describe how large it is.

For context here is a picture

captainlordauditor

what

guardianofscrewingup

It has a national park that’s bigger than maine. Or Switzerland. A park.

I lived in Alaska for two years and I will never get over the sheer overwhelming bigness of it.

Nights where the sky is clear you can see clusters of stars or the Northern Lights dancing. When the lights are rippling especially strong and fast you can hear a static crackle in the air. When the moon is out after it’s snowed, you don’t need flashlights to see. Everything glows and glimmers like polished quartz.

But when the sky is clouded over so you can’t see the stars, you can kind of almost sense the mountains towering over you and helping to block out the light, these giant monoliths acting like this void darker than your soul. I’ve never experience night like Alaska night.

Everything is big, the mountains, the sky, the valleys.

And the dark.

thedeliverygod

what the fuck

the-gayest-dovah

Alaskan Gothic

zainyyyy

Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go

shanastoryteller

in the sixth months after graduating from college, with my very expensive degree from a good college, i ate nothing but bread. i worked at a bakery / cafe / restaurant and got half off one meal per shift but it was still too expensive even then. but at the end of every night we would throw out all the bread loaves that hadn’t sold, which was most of them, every night. we would fill up ten boxes to give away to a shelter and then we could take anything we could carry, and i couldn’t afford a half off deconstructed sandwich, but i could fill the cabinets of my apartment with bread. everyone who worked there was just like me, subsisting on discarded, overpriced bread.

(when the managers’ backs were turned i was taught to leave the trashbags of bread behind the dumpster rather than inside it, because it was locked after everyone left to prevent people from stealing from it. we would say we were going out to stack chairs and instead stack prepackaged salads prepared that morning in the narrow space between wall and dumpster, but that’s not what this is about.)

we were working valentine’s day, a little bit miserable about it, because customers are somehow worse on a holiday about love, and even if we were single we didn’t want to be here, and most of us had people we’d rather be spending the day with, and the snappish, hardass manager was working that day, and everyone could not wait for the day to be over.

we had a boxes of those bakery tissue sheets around and i was twisting it in my hands and i thought about how the first night my uncle spent with my aunt he had to get up early for work but didn’t want to wake her and the whole thing hadn’t been planned, exactly, so he (a roofer by trade and a golden glove boxer by sport) went into the kitchen and took some paper towels and twisted them between his big, scarred hands until it formed a sweeter shape and when my aunt work up it was to a paper towel rose on her pillow.

so i used a couple sheets of bakery tissue to make a rose and walked up to my coworker who stared at me with a rictus smile and i gave it to her, trying not overthink if it was a weird thing to do. her smile slipped and she asked “you made this?” holding it carefully, like it wasn’t something her two year old son could have made with his pudgy hands, and i shrugged and got more milk from the back.

then another coworker held the steamer too long when frothing milk, not on accident but because he was irritated, so i rolled another rose and tucked it in his apron pocket as i walked by. then it was just one more of us up front and it was nothing, thirty seconds of twisting paper to take the stack of cookies out of her hands and hand her a tissue paper rose, her lined face lifting into a grin as she proudly tucked it into the chest pocket of her shirt and i may as well have been standing in front of the ovens for how hot my face felt.

it was such a silly thing to do, i felt ridiculous, giving away hastily constructed tissue paper roses on valentine’s day, clumsy artful garbage. then one of the servers walked by and noticed and so i made her one too, and then other servers came by, leaning over the glass, and complimenting the flowers with big eyes, and i laughed and made more, still not sure if it was sincere, but even if it wasn’t, i figured making them one and handing it over was better than saying no.

then i went to the back again and the dishwasher yelled out “where’s mine? what about us?” and he was too sweet to ever be anything less than sincere, so someone kept an eye on the door to the manager’s office as i stood in the sweltering kitchen and rolled clumsy tissue paper roses, enough for everyone

and by the time the day ended, everyone had one, everyone wore one, tucked in their shirt or their apron or stuck in their hair or taped to the top of their pen. everyone was a little less miserable, smiling like we were all on in on the joke, although i don’t think any of us knew the punchline

this story doesn’t have a punchline either. i just sometimes think of how much better some crumpled tissue paper made things and think that it can be that easy, sometimes, if we’re sincere and don’t overthink it too much

loveruns

Team “I can hear the near silent hum of electrical appliances and the bubbles fizzing in the can of soda on the coffee table, but can’t watch tv without subtitles and processes conversation at ¼ speed”