no

bottoms up, and the devil laughs

[officialfrenchtoast]

when you’re lying and ur bestfriend backs u up

[lord-kitschener]

Obviously I want you to take care of your pets and make sure they get food and fresh water on a regular basis, but cats being huge drama queens and screaming hysterically at you and acting like they’re tragic famine victims who haven’t eaten in weeks and are about to drop dead from starvation right mcfuckin now, because you’re 10 minutes late feeding them is always going to be one of the funniest things to me

[artaeum]

the cat who lives at the vet clinic i volunteer at was mad yesterday because his dinner was half an hour late due to a busy day. he proceeded to go to all the (empty dw) garbage cans and tried to knock them over and started desperately scavenging for scraps of food because obviously no one loves him or cares about him and if he must eat garbage to survive then so be it

[instructionsfordancing]

not food related, but one time my cat cried at me for 20 minutes before i worked out that the reason why she was upset was because there was a coat hanger on her favourite cushion

[lord-kitschener]

This is absolutely beautiful and changed my life, thank you so much. Please protect her from hangers at all costs

[catsuggest]

wow. am STORVING and humaines here making joke laugh at cate honger ?!

[goldenmeme]

My cat is a social eater who is not food motivated at all, so I was baffled when I first got him because he didn’t seem to care about food but he would SCREAM at me for hours when I knew his bowl was full. Any time I went to double check that he did indeed have food, he’d book it to the bowl and snarf like his life depended on it, but as soon as I walked away he’d follow me screaming again.

Eventually I figured out that he just wanted a dining companion and was screaming about how we’re a family and families eat together, god damnit! I moved his food bowl under my computer desk and it fixed the problem. But if I’m ever out for more than 12 hours I’ll come home to find him in a passive-aggressive kitty huff because dinner has been ready for hours but he’s been trying to be considerate (unlike some humans) and waiting for me to eat it. 

[leeferal]

My cats are indoor cats. Being indoor cats, they can’t go outside to hunt for food (mice, rats, birds, etc) to gift to my sister and I.

But they know that the kitchen has food. They know where the easily accessible cat food is. And obviously my sister and I are just Really Big Stupid Hairless cats.

So if my sister and I go without leaving our rooms for too long? My cats will sit outside our doors and scream for our attention, lead us to their food bowls, and then only stop the screaming and leading once they see us sit down at the table and eat something. Because they think we’re hungry.

[akuyaku-reijou]

Your cats are the sweetest beings on the Earth, it makes my heart warm knowing that they exist. They love you very much and they care so much, they want you healthy and happy and will make sure you don’t neglect yourself and oh god they are so perfect. Real pure love exists, I am happy to be alive today.

[findingstories-brighterdays]

YALL

[hayaomiyazaki]

romesh ranganathan is the most passionate drunk history narrator of all time

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

you’re at a party at thor’s apartment and you go to get more drinks from the basement fridge and his weird brother is down there alone not drinking and just sitting on one of those couches that flatten out into futons and u don’t want to talk to him but now you’ve made eye contact and u feel bad for him bc clearly he’s doesn’t know how to function at parties so you awkwardly linger on the steps for five minutes and chat and go upstairs feeling you did something nice

then the next weekend at another party you go down to the basement and it’s been magically shifted into a full-service spa with uncomfortably erotic overtones and there are aliens there and a small brass band and thor’s weird brother is wearing a crown and telling a lively story about almost getting killed on a space ship once and everyone loves him

“what the fuck” you ask thor.

“yeah my brother’s only pathetic when he feels like it” he says

[zetabrarian]

This is…so accurate

[d-mondaze]

A Christmas Carol is so wild to me because it takes not one, not two, but like four fucking ghosts to convince this dude not to be the biggest douche in the universe. Like, four fucking ghosts came back from the dead, rose from the Goddamn grave to be like, “I came back from the dead because you need to quit your shit.” Fuck. How big of an asshole do you have to be to have four fucking ghosts tell you to stop?

[90sjamz]

This gave me high expectations on what my cardboard box house would look like inside. I guess I needed a bigger imagination then.

[donnasweettttttttt]

the phrasing of “the stranger things kids FORCED netflix to let them swear” is so funny. like finn wolfhard came back fresh off of filming a rated r movie and held a gun to a netflix executive’s head so that he and his friends could say fuck

[catsbeaversandducks]

Benny The Surrogate Cat Dad

Benny gets the most joy when his human mom brings home rescued kittens, so he can help look after them and show them the same love that he received when he was rescued. Whenever Ellen brings home an orphan baby (or a box of babies), Benny anticipates their arrival and is filled with excitement. He becomes their dedicated surrogate dad, and his fatherly instinct kicks in the moment he sees a kitten.

Photos by Ellen - Full Story on Love Meow

[blackbirdandthefox]

[catsuggest]

good dad

[wytrykusarchives]

The Milt Kahl Head Swaggle (Source: Cartoon Brew)

[spootywabbit]

I love it when you can pick up an animator’s quirks. 

[kaseylgifford]

     I’ve read in old interviews with Milt Khal’s fellow animators that he did the swaggle to purposefully show off. Moving the head in 3-d space is an exceptionally hard thing to do but Khal upped the level of difficulty to a place many animators wouldn’t go.      Not only are they all doing the swaggle you’ll notice they are all TALKING while they are doing it. This is back in the days where you had to use a timing sheet to pace your animation and a head swaggle doesn’t work if its too slow or too fast so he had to figure out the right speed so it looked natural while the character finishes what they have to say while not interfering with the distinct mouth shapes.       Not only did Khal do it without any shifting weight problems or timing issues he would often do it while moving the rest of the body. This isn’t his signature move just because he was good at it.This is his signature move because he was one of the only people skilled enough to DO IT AT ALL.

Milt Khal was a MASTER.

[endface]

you know that shit that happens where you eat a bag of assorted candy but theres one flavor in there you dont like and eventually, like, you get down to the point where its like a huge bag of just that flavor and you try your best to eat it anyway bc it feels weird to throw out?? sundays feel like a solid 24 hours of that feeling. idk why. this isnt like, an analogy. dont try and break down like how theres an equivalency bc theres not, im not drawing one, im saying there are a finite amount of vibes in the world, and sometimes the universe has to repurpose them, and “being alive on a sunday” and “possessing a whole bag of just the worst kind of candy” is a case of that

[slimmetra-deactivated20250917]

mario can lactate #confirmed

[slimmetra-deactivated20250917]

how do you think yoshi grew up so big and strong

[concealedblade-deactivated20210]

hey brad the precious few minutes between when you posted this and when i had to see it was the only time god gave a shit about protecting me

[lmaonade]

god i dumped the mouthwash in the cap and then when i went to put it in my mouth my body was like “ur doing a shot” and i just let the mouthwash slide down my throat

[n3wfaceoffailure]

wlw culture is not wanting to fuck a goddamn clown

[coolgirl]

harley quinn

[n3wfaceoffailure]

[severalowls]

The “I probably shouldn’t have clowns” Starter Pack

[severalowls]

Clowns are creatures that need to clown. They were not meant to be domesticated and profited from as pets. They are highly active creatures that will self harm from stress in such confined spaces. Circus Clowns are delightful to keep in groups, though they are fine on their own, but every 1 clown adds 30 square feet to the space needed. They need multiple props and performance areas in order to replicate their natural environment. These are examples of proper Circus Clown or other basic clown enclosures.

Candee Fluff is a horrible brand of cotton candy, I used to feed it to my clowns and they would just throw it back up. The sugar is all unprocessed, when clowns need highly refined white sugar, just because it’s cheaper. Which is something they don’t list on the packaging to fool clown owners. Ideally you should only feed your clown freshly whipped cotton candy. Large mixers may be expensive but a simple childrens make-your-own candy floss machine will suffice if your budget is tight.

Clowns shouldn’t be confined to a car. (Especially a childrens car..?) Clowns are curious creatures that need to jump, tumble, honk and play to be healthy. Keeping them locked in a car 24/7 as a toy for your kids will stress them out in much the same way as a hamster in a ball. Clowns do enjoy having access to a clown car, especially in groups, but their car should provide 1 square foot per clown and their enjoyment comes primarily from exiting the vehicle in large numbers. Keeping them locked inside can reduce their lifespan by up to 10 years. A small human-sized compact car may be suitable for larger groups of clowns.

I’m cringing at that rainbow collection of “my mommy got me a cute clown” balloon sticks. These are creatures that need to run around with helium balloons. They need to bounce and float away when released. Air-filled balloons on sticks are not a suitable replacement. This is the proper set up for a clown or more modern jesters.

Clowns get stressed from any foot confinement under size 16. Clown shoes are the worst item for being sold to kids as “accessories” in human foot sizes. When kept like that the clown will die a horribly stressed life within a year when they can live for 60 or more. They need colourful shoes or boots with plenty of toe-space and loud squeakers. Clowns are so intelligent that they actually play with you, and they need podiatric stimulation to live healthy. These are proper clown shoes.

Never change the natural markings of a clown. This should go without saying, but I see people buying halloween store ‘clown makeup’ and attempting to alter their clown’s faces. Clowns use their facial markings to identify one another, and altering it may cause stress, and even endager the clown if you keep several in the same tent.

Who the fuck would even feed an omnivorous clown pellet food…? Do they want a sick clown? If clown stores even bothered to care about the keeping of clowns, they would know that shit is bad for them. If you can’t feed fresh peanuts and hot dogs then you shouldn’t own a clown in the first place. Pellet food isn’t even real food, it’s chemically made with preservatives.

[brucebocchi]

hey quick question what the fuck

[bpdzoldyck-deactivated20181014]

As someone who has been living with severe suicidal ideation my entire life I wanna tell you all something, you don’t have to stay alive for yourself. People will say it’s a bad idea to live for external things because they’re temporary, and it’s true living for yourself is ideal but if you’re not to that point yet that’s ok too. 

I’ve lived for my dog for the past 4 years, before that I lived for my snakes, before that I lived for my cat. You can live for whatever needs you and whatever matters to you. Live for your best friend, live for your plants, live for your pets, live for your animal crossing town. Live for whatever keeps you alive and the day will come when you can live for yourself.

[putthison]

“When I was young there were beatniks. Hippies. Punks. Gangsters. Now you’re a hacktivist. Which I would probably be if I was 20. Shuttin’ down MasterCard. But there’s no look to that lifestyle! Besides just wearing a bad outfit with bad posture. Has WikiLeaks caused a look? No! I’m mad about that. If your kid comes out of the bedroom and says he just shut down the government, it seems to me he should at least have an outfit for that.”

- John Waters on the sorry style of today’s rebels  (emphasis mine)

[pluckyminna]

helpless laughter oh god

[synebluetoo]

This is the only criticism of millenials I will accept