does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person
wow

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@mikey-hunter
does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person
wow
you can dig a little hole and plant me in the dirt
i know this has been remarked upon before but it really is hilarious how the whole "ditto keeps the same face when it transforms" thing was originally presented as a failing of one specific ditto in the anime, only for pokemon to immediately realize that being able to slap a ditto face onto literally anything was actually an incredibly strong marketing tool and backpedaling on it so hard that nearly thirty years later we're getting an entire game marketed nearly entirely off the inherent appeal of the ditto face.
"Why do you need age verification on a site where everyone is 38?"
idk who on earth could possibly need to hear this, but do NOT, under ANY circumstances, give out your SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER to ANY SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS
āļøāļøāļø
is anyone else constantly afraid theyāll be ācaughtā doing stuff theyāre obviously allowed or even supposed to do
uh oh š Iām playing video games š° on my computer š«¢ that I own šØ if anyone sees this Iām going to have to fake my own death
Continue⨠Keep goingāØ
Thank you, lady š¤
The Nigerian accent. God. She reminds me of home...
Always grateful when this makes the rounds
So funny story actually. One of my friends was hooking up with this girl, they were friends with benefits. She needed a date for some work party so he agreed to go with her. Turns out her dad owns like 3 dental practices and she worked as the business manager for one of them.
Anyway my friend had some not so nice teeth and during dinner the father of his fwb was like āyou work where you work, you sleep with him and his teeth look like that? Get him an appointment.āand then bounced. So his fwb made him an appointment at the practice she managed and my friend ended up needing like 3k worth of dental work and his friend with benefits just gave it to him for free.
So that is the story of how my friend not only got sex, but dental out of the friends with benefits deal.
As much as I want to support ethical farming practices I will be buying the cheapest bag of frozen chicken thighs as much as the next frugal/poor person which is why animal welfare needs to be legislated, not left up to the invisible hand of the free market or some bullshit. Invisible hand of the free market finds itself around a lot of throats.
"Invisible hand of the free market finds itself around a lot of throats."
That is such a line.
the average tumblr user's inherent inability to detect sarcasm facetiousness irony or just a regular old bit explains why booktok is nothing but books that read like "he walked into the room because he was going there. it was dark because it was night which is why he turned on a light. which is a metaphor"
I'm so old i remember when people liked using Windows
That's because they stuck these bad boys to them
Oh wow, that IS better.
He did it, he summed up modern tech startup culture.
One time when my dad was in the hospital they were testing his orientation to time and place and said "Okay and what year is it?" and he said "1995" (he had dementia). And the doctor and I unconsciously exchanged a Look because it was in fact uhhh 2024 š and dad saw that and so when the next doctor did the test a few hours later he said "uhhhh...nineteen...nintetyyyy.......seven...???" and I was like okay, well, that IS closer, you do have to give him that
#he still knew immediately who I was which was deeply funny to me bc I was 7-8 years old in 1997 #"yes that is my daughter who was apparently born in her 20s"
You fool, assuming I'm a dog girl just because I'm trans. I'm a cat girl, the classic, the original. If you tell me what to do I'm gonna lay down and stare at you. If you tell me I'm a good girl my claws are going in your face
You may leave it near me and I'll deign to investigate when it pleases me.
This is allowed. Perhaps I'll let you brush me later.
Shit hang on I gotta look into this
everyone's talking about the ibs/autism haha funny comparison thing while I'm still stuck on the concept that hamsters exist in the wild. like naturally
tf do you mean they're a wild creature. you find those ankle-biters at the pet store
Not a biologist, but the evolution of mammals is way more granular than you might expect. Humans are the sole surviving species of the genus Homo, which was a real party before the other ones went extinct. You're in for a fun time.
Domestic cats are believed to be domesticated not from tigers, but from the African wildcat:
Which evolved to be small just because it's sometimes more useful to be small.
And no, hamsters are not off-brand rats. They're part of the rodent order, which includes beavers, moles, capybaras, guinea pigs (yes, also wild) and lots of other fun things:
Shit. This dude knows an extreme amount about a niche subject. Crazy what you can accomplish when you have treatment resistant IBS
I want it on record that I shit mostly normal.
I feel like not enough people realize that people under enormous strain act really really fucking Weird
There was a parenting-kids-with-trauma book I remember running into around 2010 (I was not and am still not a parent, but I am an older sibling) that had a lovely little slogan I like to quote all the time:
āItās not about the Cheerios.ā
This was in reference to a story about a kid flipping the HELL out into a full-blown panic about running out of their favorite cereal. Not a tantrum, not a whine-fest, but an all-hands-on-deck, code-red, world-is-ending blowup.
The kid had originally come from a very unstable situation and experienced food deprivation. The new adoptive parents were stumped, because look at all the other food! Youāre safe! We can get the Cheerios tomorrow!
But it wasnāt really about the Cheerios, it was about that first flicker of unease triggering all the old trauma. From the outside, it looked ridiculous. To the trauma-trained reaction of the kidās brain, it made perfect sense.
Human brains are weird, and weāre all out here trying to survive. Sometimes our brains do this in socially acceptable, convenient ways. But not often.
(The book was titled āBeyond Logic, Consequences or Controlā I think, Iāll look it up and edit this in a bit.)
āthis is how you age when youāre unproblematicā NO! stop assigning moral weight to attractiveness! I am not hot because Iām a good person! I am hot because all of my friends are gorgeous! Iām absorbing their beauty! Like a vampire! Because Iām evil!
Don't forget the wedding invite his in-laws put out for his wedding.