Dog Lover by day

Alien Enthusiast by night |They/Them|Nota

[captianstydia]

[scorpiogothgf-deactivated202103]

if we get animal crossing for switch i hope they bring back how fucking rude the villagers used to be

[scorpiogothgf-deactivated202103]

[gemstuff]

Some the absolute best T pose memes I’ve seen

[beatcroc]

this is just 2018 planking

[glitchmage]

You’re right but I really wish you weren’t.

[realest-asami-requiem]

more

[anchovy]

My mom told me to stop vapeing in the house and my dad just texted me this

[anchovy]

Update:

[jads-abum-rat]

[vespertineflora]

[audio transcript]

Woman: He’s fine. He misses you.

Man: Give him my love.

Woman: Will do. 

[woman looks at ridiculous oversized bird]

Woman: SQUAWK

Bird: SQUAWK

THE END

[stability]

Good to know shitposting has been around since the inception of cinema

[retrogamingblog]

what it feels like to play pokemon ruby and sapphire on max volume

[amateur]

Source

[thetomska]

tumblr i’m begging you please let me reblog the big tiddy coffin

[therottenharvest]

“Beep beep, bitch. You’re gay”

[witchgays]

slides in with roombas strapped to both my feet: sup heteros

[permanentlyexhaustedpidgeon]

Theory: great

Reality: they both take off in different directions, fuck

[witchgays]

homophobia never sleeps

[virpiablccdnerd]

you have to have rope at a length of like 1 to 2 feet. or maybe a steel bar. something. that connects the roombas and keeps them at an appropriate distance.

[witchgays]

finally a good suggestion. roomba bondage

[scumbagsblog]

Story time because this was one of the most surreal experiences of my life and I need to talk about it

So when I was sixteen I worked in a Dairy Queen in a mall (which was as awful as it sounds) and during prom season we had people that’d walk around in prom attire to kill time before the dance started.

You also need to know that among those suits in boxes you can buy at Macy’s is a three-piece American flag suit. I’m not joking.

So imagine, if you will, six white guys who were fuck-you tall all walking around the mall in this exact suit and matching white cowboy hats. Hilarious in and of itself, my coworkers and I were all cackling.

BUT THEN

My mall also had these motorized animals you can ride, they were marketed towards kids but there’s no way they’re gonna say no to an adult willing to pay $14 to ride on an elephant for half an hour

So like ten minutes after we see them, all of them come

RIDING ALONG IN A FUCKING CONGA LINE

Just these six identical cowboys each on their own animal, each animal blaring it’s own rendition of B-I-N-G-O, and I basically nearly burst into tears.

I hope they went on to start their own boy band or something.

[gahdamnpunk]

[jadenvargen]

i like elephant seals IN THEORY cos they look so goofy but every time i watch any documentary about them all they do is fuck and fight extremely graphically and disgustingly to the death so i’m deeply afraid of them

[smugbots-and-such]

I just googled “why do elephant seals fight” and got a video of one bashing himself in slow, rhythmic, dead-eyed crashes against a truck only slightly larger than itself while said owner just stood to the side, a defeated, perplexed look on his face

[smugbots-and-such]

[goawfma]

bitch i got adhd lmao

[agni-bi]

Water is one oxygen atom away from being hydrogen peroxide. Take a wild guess at which one will kill you if you drink it…

[verygayandverytired]

is it water

[reidvezz-deactivated20180501]

This also ignores that meth is a stimulant which add medication is as well because SURPRISE stimulants have the EXACT OPPOSITE EFFECT on people with executive dysfunction calming and focusing them it’s why many self medicate with coffee.

[cienie-isengardu]

Surrounded by incompetents. You are the only one who has not tested my ire.

[arielsojourner]

Is he … Is he talking to the mouse droid?

[deejay]

Me with my roomba

[mypunkpansexualtwin]

[itdidntscandoesitsmeanitsfree]

[la-plus-heureuse]

College band class pranks director with Mii Channel theme