What am I now? ⋆ Draco Malfoy
A/N- So this is part two to but ‘i knew you’. I was gonna use the rest of the song, ‘cardigan’ by taylor swift. However, while I was showering ‘falling’ by harry styles came on and i got this brilliant idea. This part is in Draco’s pov too:)
part one- but i knew you
I'm in my bed And you're not here And there's no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands Forget what I said It's not what I meant And I can't take it back I can't unpack the baggage you left
Draco lied in his bed, staring lazily at the ceiling. There was a party happening in the room of requirements, hosted by the Slytherin house. It was a celebration for winning the quidditch match against Ravenclaw. It was a hard game, so a celebration was in order. Draco could imagine the music pulsing through the room, drunk teens dancing awfully as they rode out their hormone fueled dreams. Draco was much more content with laying in his room, enjoying the rare silence.
It had been a few months since the start of his 7th year. The war was over, his father was in Azkaban and he was sure to stay there for a while. Draco’s mom had changed, slowly but surely. Over the last summer, Draco had spent his time alone in the large mansion of Malfoy manner. Draco remembered how his mom no longer sat in her favorite lounge, reading one of her disgustingly girly magazines. Instead most of the time, he found her curled up in her bed. Sometimes he could hear her sniffling, choking back tears but mostly he found her sleeping soundly.
Draco had changed too, he didn’t care for the rivalry of the Hogwarts houses, he didn’t care about teasing potter and his disgusting friends. He didn’t care for a lot of things now. Except Y/N.
Merlin, Y/N.
The beautiful eyed girl who plagued his thoughts more often than not. He remembered the night at the astronomy tower, the last time he had spoken to her. He remembered how her perfect frame shook with rage before she cursed him and stormed out, leaving the pureblood alone with his thoughts. That night, Draco had cried. He cried alone in the tower, feeling corned. He had broken the heart of one of the most important people in his life.
Draco knew why he did it, why he pushed you away and broke you. He was doing it to protect you, the last thing he needed was for you to get wrapped up in his death eaters bullshit. He wanted you safe, and if that meant making you hate him, so be it.
But was it worth it? Was it worth losing you? Maybe you would’ve stayed with him through the war. Helping and soothing him during his night terrors. Maybe you would’ve hated him anyway, calling him a traitor and a monster. He wouldn’t blame you.
But for now he lied alone in his bed. Suddenly his door flew open, Blaise in the doorway with a drunken smile. “Draco! Theo yacked all over me and this girl, came up here to change. Why aren’t you at the party? It’s absolutely wicked down up there.” His words were slurred and sewed together. He pranced over to one of his drunks and popped it open. Blaise grabbed an emerald green sweater, slipping off his soiled shirt.
“Don’t care much to be smooshed by a bunch of drunk imbeciles .” Draco said coldly.
“That’s a shame, there’s some beautiful creatures up there. Y/N looks absolutely pang.” Draco wondered if Blaise knew what he had just said.
“What was she wearing?” Draco asked before he could stop himself. Since when did you party? You never cared to go to any of the house parties unless Malfoy dragged you there himself.
“I think it was blue or maybe black. Wait!” Blaise held a hand towards Draco, collecting his intoxicated thoughts. “Yeah it’s black. Definitely black” He laughed at himself shamelessly.
“Black what, you prat. A black sock?” Draco found himself grinning at his friend’s current state.
“A black dress.” Blaise said simply. Draco swallowed hard, despite the voice in the bag of his head nagging him to stay in bed, Draco found himself wanting to see you. He would be perfectly fine with just one glance. Then his hunger would be fine for the night and possibly he could enjoy the party.
“Stay right there. I’m coming to the party.” Draco rose to his feet and went to his wardrobe. He pulled out a simple, black long sleeve shirt and a pair of nice yet comfortable gray slacks. Draco slipped on a pair of new, shiny black dress shoes before turning to Theo’s small mirror on the wall. He checked his reflection, he looked tired but he doubted anyone would notice.
When Blaise and Draco arrived inside the room of requirements, he was greeted with the loud music. There were plenty of people there, from all of the houses. He even saw a couple of ravenclaws taking some firewhisky shots.
Shots sounded perfect right now, it would help Draco calm his nerves. Blaise saw one of his many friends on the way to the drink table, leaving Draco alone as he poured himself a shot. Closing his eyes, he tilted his head back and down the substance with ease. Another one, and another one. On his fourth shot in the span of three minutes, Draco felt better already. His eyes danced around the scenery in front of him, he saw some of his so called ‘friends’. But then he saw you.
And merlin you looked good. So good. You’re hair was a little longer than the last time he saw you. Your cheeks were painted red as you smiled happily at Harry, who was wrapped up with the Weasley girl. Draco could tell you were drunk, or at least very tipsy. You were sawing softly as you giggled with Potter and his friends. You looked happy, and Draco was content with that.
After that night night at the astronomy tower, Draco had watched you slowly break. Before summer vacation, he noticed you stopped going to the great halls for meals. You always seemed so tired and empty. You wore a neutral expression almost always. You never laughed or showed any emotion, it broke Draco’s heart.
Draco was brought to the memory of Pansy and you. You’d been walking down the halls alone when you passed Draco and his friends. You kept your head down as you walked by, and he watched you carefully. He couldn’t stop Pansy’s bloody words. She called out after you, causing you to turn towards the group. Pansy mentioned Y/N’s current state, mentioning and giggling at Y/N’s sudden change in behavior. “Did someone hurt our dear Y/N?” Pansy’s sickening voice spoke. Y/N had stared at Pansy with an empty expression. Draco swallowed as he remembered her eyes. She had looked at the raven-haired girl with nothing in her eyes. No sadness, anger, or amusement. Draco took note of how Pansy shifted uncomfortably under your intense gaze. Then you turned on your heel and left.
Draco normally would’ve laughed at Pansy’s failed attempt at bullying but he couldn’t. Because Pansy was right, someone had broken your heart. And it was him.
“Dray.” A girl Draco didn’t recognize purred next to him. He glared down at her.
“May I help you with something? Or do you take pleasure in bothering people when you’re piss drunk?” He spit out. He repressed a laugh as the girl’s smirk fell and morphed into a sad, shocked expression. When she didn't speak, Draco turned and poured himself a large cup of tainted tonic water and firewhiskey.
Draco left the drink table and made his way through the crowd, aiming towards a large couch in the middle of the party. No one was sitting on it surprisingly, but he wouldn’t complain. Draco sat in the middle of the couch, sinking into the soft cushions. Draco sipped his drink slowly, wishing he had stayed in his bed.
But I want her to be in bed with me, playing with my hair and kissing my neck. Merlin I miss her kisses.
Draco’s brain thought, he shook it away. This was his fault, all of it. He wasn’t strong enough to go against his family, and he had to pay the consequences.
“Sorry. I didn’t see your legs. You have really long legs.” A beautiful giggle filled his ears as he looked at the girl in front of him. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn’t even realize that you had tripped over his stretched out legs. You were on the floor, on your knees as you looked down and fixed the top of your dress. When you lifted your gaze, Draco’s eyes met with yours.
You looked sweaty and had rosy cheeks from all the drinks you’ve must’ve consumed. Draco’s heart hammered against his chest as you just stared at him. But you’re face had so many expressions, you looked shocked, scared, happy and sad. Draco swallowed thickly, past the lump forming in his throat. You just sat there on the floor and stared at him.
“Hello.” Draco said simply. He wanted to slap his face, hello? really? The first words he’s spoken to you in 6 months and it’s hello?
You stared at him again. “Hi.” He couldn’t read your tone.
“Having fun?” He cleared his throat, playing with the hem of his shirt.
“I was.” Now Draco could tell you were upset. You shuffled up to your feet, trying to stable your balance before you turned away from him.
Draco found himself reaching out to you, he gripped your arm carefully and pulled you back. A flashback from the astronomy tower came into his head. Draco had turned to leave as well, but you hugged him and cried. Begging him to stay. In return, Draco said some of the worst lies ever. Everything he said to you was quite the opposite of how he felt towards you.
“Y/N. I’m sorry-” A sharp stinging feeling landed on Draco’s left cheek. His head was whipped around before he rubbed his face slightly. You slapped him. “What the hell, Y/L/N!”
“You...” You’re voice wavered. You stared at Draco, tears in your eyes. “You don’t get to apologize to me!” Tears were now falling down your cheeks. Draco wanted nothing more than to wipe them away, but he restrained himself. “You don’t get to apologize after you broke me. I trusted you! I gave you everything I had. I gave you all my time and love, I gave you me. I-I just wanted to help you, even if it was a little bit. I just wanted to make you happy, Draco.” You looked so small when you cried, Draco hated seeing you cry. Hated it even more that it was because of him. Guilt burned in his chest as you continued. “I loved you with every fiber in my body. I used to dream about you, about us. And I hate that I still do. I still dream about your stupid, perfect face. But I-I I’m finally finding myself again. I’m starting to feel better too, I’m not gonna let you walk back into my life and fuck me up again. I can’t afford to lose myself again just to have you back in my arms.” You wiped the tears from your cheeks before you looked at him again. “But like you said, you’re done with me. I was merely an experience.” You turned and left, leaving Draco feeling empty with the encounter.
Draco watched you walk away, you practically walked across the whole room. You were walking as far away as possible from Draco. Draco huffed out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. Maybe those shots weren’t the best idea. Draco could feel himself getting worked up. He was angry, angry that you were walking away from him. Angry that he was letting you walk away from him.
Draco turned and grabbed his drink off the side table next to the couch, chugging it. Once the drink was warmly settling into his stomach, Draco tossed the cup onto the floor. Draco needed to get out of the party, away from everyone and their wandering eyes. He pushed passed people, some of them cursing at him.
Once Draco had reached the empty, dull hallway, he took a deep breath. He could finally breathe again. Draco’s feet carried him towards his favorite spot, the astronomy tower. Once inside, he slammed the door shut, wincing at the loud same. Draco could feel the alcohol taking it’s full effect, making his head spin as he sat on the windowsill. So many thoughts were running through his head. Draco rubbed his temple softly, groaning. Way too many shots.
Draco looked out towards the horizon. It was a full moon, and the scenery looked absolutely stunning. The boy found his mind wandering to you again, images from your guy’s fresh encounter engraved in his mind. Draco really had broken you, more than he had realized in the beginning.
And he couldn’t fix it. He couldn’t take back those awful things he said to you. He couldn’t reverse the damage that had been done. Draco rubbed the few tears that began to form in the back of his eyes.
He couldn’t get rid of the memories. Memories of you throwing your head back, laughing carelessly at something he said. Draco couldn’t forget the way you bit your lower lip and the way your nose scrunched at the corners when you were studying. Your perfect hair, the way it fell effortlessly around you. He missed those tired eyes you gave him in the early, dewy mornings. He missed your lips, how they molded with his oh-so-perfectly. How they were always so warm and full, in need of his own lips.
Draco let the tears fall freely. He was tired of missing you, tired of missing everything about you. He just wanted you to come back to him, he would get on his knees for you, in front of the whole damn school if needed. He didn’t care at this point, anything to have you in his arms again.
----
What am I now? What am I now? What if I'm someone I don't want around? I'm fallin' again I'm fallin' again I'm fallin'
Everyone must have felt drained from last nights party. A few people littered the great hall here and there, eating their breakfast slowly.
Draco sat in the middle of the Slytherin table alone, scooping a small amount of vanilla Greek yogurt onto the his plate. He sat and ate his breakfast in silence. His mind drifted to you as usual, particularly last nights event.
Did you not love him anymore? Is that why you were so quick to turn down his apology. No, that couldn’t be. You’d said it yourself, ‘I still dream about your stupid, perfect face.’
So maybe there was a chance, a very slim chance that he could get you back. But would you want him back? Want him to stick around? No, you didn’t. You had said it yourself again, he heard the words from your very mouth. You didn’t want to lose yourself again. Draco understood that. He never realized how much you gave him until it was gone; until you were gone.
Draco didn’t blame you for not wanting him back. He was a negative person, that he could admit to himself. He got jealous quickly, he remembered accusing you once of cheating with one of the Weasley twins. Draco wished more than ever that he could go back and take it back, take it all back. But he couldn’t.
Draco slammed his spoon onto the table, causing a few students to look up from their meals and glance at the blonde. The boy stood to his feet, making his way back to his bedroom.
Draco stopped in his tracks, looking at the end of the empty hall. Blaise and Theo were probably still snoring away, and he didn’t want to hear any of it. He could go to the Astronomy tower, yet the idea didn’t seem to please him enough. Where could he go? The room of requirement? No, he was sure someone would monitor the entrance after last night. Draco continued to walk, figuring that walking would do him some good.
Draco went down two flights of stair before his shoes met the beginning of the green grass. Draco began walking towards the greenhouse in front of him. Pulling open the glass door, Draco took a deep breath. The air felt warm and sticky, the smell of soil filling it. It was a comforting scent, Draco wasn’t sure why that was. Taking a seat on one of the chairs, Draco allowed his thoughts to roam again.
Draco didn’t like himself anymore, he didn’t like who he had become after the war. He missed how care free he used to be, he missed laughing with Blaise over stupid, childish things. He missed being happy. Some nights, while Draco lied in bed, he felt his skin crawl. Almost as if he was trying to shed a layer of skin. Those were the moments he wished he could shed his skin, become a different person. A new person who was loved by all and genuinely good-hearted.
Maybe then you would be his again, if he was kinder and more sensitive to other’s feelings. Draco wanted nothing more to be that way, not only for you but himself as well. Draco hated the voice in his head, the one that was always hateful and vile.
He knew he wouldn’t enjoy his own company if he were in someone else’s shoes. Because who wants someone who is an absolute asshole? Not Draco, and certainly not you.
----
What if I'm down? What if I'm out? What if I'm someone you won't talk about? I'm fallin' again I'm fallin' again I'm fallin'
And I get the feelin' that you'll never need me again
In all his years of attending Hogwarts, he never once had a substitute teacher. Draco peered over at McGonagall who sat in Slughorn’s usual seat in the front of class. McGonagall explained at the beginning of class that Slughorn had been attacked by a student’s potion gone-wrong. Slughorn was in the medical wing for the rest of the day. Luckily, the new headmistresses allowed her students to use this class as a study hall. Everyone seemed to wear the same surprised expression, but no one complained.
Pansy sat next to Draco, talking his ear off. Did this girl have stop talking? Just for a minute? Draco looked over his Herbology textbook and rubbed his temples slowly. Her constant yapping was giving him a migraine. “Shut your trap, Parkinson.” He mumbled, his eyes not leaving the words written before him.
“Excuse me?” Pansy sneered, glaring at the blonde.
“As much as I would love to hear about your loathsome life, I’m trying to read. You should try it sometime, or are you dead from the neck up?” Draco looked at her with a bored expression.
“I-I..” She fumbled over her tongue, how pathetic.
“Go torment Blaise or something.” With that she stood, making her way to Theo and Blaise’s shared table.
Finally, peace and quiet. Draco pulled out a piece of parchment paper and his quill, taking some notes here and there. His study session was short lived when he heard you voice whisper something harshly.
“Hermione, drop it. I don’t want to talk about it.” You said softly. Your table was just in front of his, giving the boy the perfect excuse to stare longingly at the back of your head without getting caught.
“Y/n...”Hermione began to speak slowly. “You promised me at the beginnig of this year that you would be honest with me, that you’d speak what’s on your mind. You haven’t been doing a very good job of that.” Draco could only imagine Y/N’s face at those words, she hated when people spoke down to her.
“Hermione. Drop it. Now, I’m not telling you about what happened at the party the other night. I have every right to not tell you anything.” Draco could tell you were upset by the tone in your voice and the way your posture slouched slightly.
“But you have to, you prom-”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass what I promised! I’m not talking about Draco anymore, I have no need to! If you want me to heal and move on so bad; stop asking me about him every bloody minute! It’s exhausting.” Your voice was a little louder now. A couple of students turned and eyed you curiously.
Hermione tucked her head down slightly, mumbling out an apology. Draco’s quill suddenly snapped in his grasp, the noise causing you to turn and look at the cause.
Draco stared at you, sadness and anger evident in his beautiful blue eyes. He could tell you read his face with ease, you chewed on your bottom lip nervously. You turned forward, Draco still staring at you. Before Draco realized what he was doing, he stood to his feet, scrapping his belongings into his bag sloppily. He stormed out of the class, ignoring everyone’s confused gazes and McGonagall’s shrill voice.
He let his legs carry him wherever they wished. Draco felt dizzy with all the thoughts swarming around him. You didn’t want to talk to him, you didn’t even want to speak his name. It hurt than Draco could ever imagine, he was losing you. Draco’s hands shook as he waved at the Slytherin portrait before speaking the password with a shaky breath. Once in the common room, Draco sat on the leather couch. He threw his bag on the floor and sighed heavily. Maybe he had lost you, for good.
Would Draco be able to live in a world with her? Could he wake up every morning knowing that the girl he loved the most resented him? No. He couldn’t. The thought alone of never holding you again caused bile to crawl and fight at the back of his throat. He had to fix this, Draco needed to get you back. But how? Surely you wouldn’t want him back, but still Draco needed to fight for you.
----
You said you cared And you missed me, too And I'm well aware I write too many songs about you And the coffee's out At the Beachwood Café And it kills me 'cause I know we've run out of things we can say
Draco stood nervously outside of the library, waiting for you. He knew every Wednesday you would come to the library after your last class, you used the time to catch up with homework and your studies. He always admired how hard working you were.
Draco sucked in a harsh breath as he saw you making your way towards him, or more so the library. You didn’t even divert your eyes to the boy as you passed him. Draco frowned, catching up with you. “Y/N.” He said quietly so Madame Pince wouldn’t chew him out.
You ignored him as you continued walking towards your usual table. When you took a seat, Draco followed. You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. He could tell you were already annoyed. “Y/N, can I have a word with you please?” Draco asked gently.
“I suppose you’re already here, Malfoy. What do you want?” You were cold, harsh.
Draco swallowed thickly before clearing his throat. Why was he so bloody nervous? “Look, I’m sorry. I know you hate me now, but I’m still madly in love with you. I want us again, I need you to be mine again.” Draco offered you soft eyes.
“No.” You said simply as you pulled out your tattered potions book.
“Fine, hate me all you want Y/L/N. But all I’m asking is for you to grab one butterbeer with me this weekend, please. We can sit in complete silence if that’s what you wish. All I want is for us to dissolve this tension at the very least.”
You knaweled on your lower lip, fingers fiddling with the collar of your shirt. “Fine, only so we can both move on and you’ll leave me alone.”
Draco tried to hide the frown that was dying to creep up onto his lips. He nodded quickly. “Sure, whatever. Meet me at the Leaky Cauldron half past four.” Draco grabbed his belongings and left the library.
The weekend came faster than Draco wished it to. It wasn’t that he was unhappy to see you, he was above the clouds with that idea. The boy was just nervous, extremely nervous. The type of nervous that caused him to constantly wipe his hands on his pants to rid the moisture from it.
You were twenty minutes late, where the hell were you? Where you blowing him off? Draco had considered this may happen. Draco was pulled from his thoughts as he saw you approach him. You pulled out a chair and sat down silently. “I got you a butterbeer with extra foam, just how you like it.” Draco pushed your glass towards you with his won.
“Thank you.” You said quietly, He could see your cheeks growing a beautiful shade of red. Maybe this would go good, hopefully.
Silence filled the air between the two students, each one of them having millions and millions of thoughts crossing their brains. Draco bounced his leg anxiously under the table. “Thank you for coming, really.” Draco said softly, looking up at you. You nodded shortly.
“Sure, no problem.” Silence again.
“I miss you.” Draco said before he could comprehend what he just said. You looked at him with wide eyes.
“I-I miss you too.” For the first time in forever, Draco smiled a genuine smile.
“Really?” He couldn’t believe you.
“I do.” You ran a hand through your hair, letting out a soft sigh.
“Do you still care about me?”
“That’s my problem Draco, I never stopped caring about you.” You admitted. Draco’s eyes widened, you did care for him. This was going better than expected.
Silence filled the air once more as you finished your butter beer. Draco wasn’t sure what to say. You didn’t seem what know what to say either. The silence was killing him, the two of you never had an awkward moment ever. Conversation came with ease, and he always enjoyed talking to you. You made him laugh, his real snorting laugh. But that seemed like such a long time ago, now you guys sat in awkwardness. No words spoken and eye contact avoided.
“I have to go, I promised Ron I would help him study.” You began to stand, causing Draco’s chest to tighten. Draco nodded curtly.
“Sure.” With that you left, leaving the boy to stare at your empty glass.
----
What am I now? What am I now? What if you're someone I just want around? I'm fallin' again I'm fallin' again I'm fallin'
It had been three long, atrocious weeks since you had met Draco at the Leaky Cauldron. He hadn’t spoken to you since, even though he was dying to hear your voice again. You seemed to be avoiding him. It hurt when you dodged his eyes through the crowed hallways and how you always seemed to be leaving wherever he arrived. Draco hadn’t slept in over 24 hours. His eyes stung as he walked through the court yard, since when was the sun so bright? Draco rubbed a hand over his eyes and groaned slightly. Merlin he just wanted his life back, he just wanted you back.
“What’s the matter Malfoy?” Blaise said from beside him. Draco had completely forgotten they have been walking together.
“Nothing.” Draco shrugged, Blaise knew he was lying.
“Your an awful liar.” Blaise laughed deeply.
“Oh yeah? And you’re an impressionable twat.” Draco sneered, glaring at his best friend.
Blaise stopped walking, turning towards Draco. “What’s wrong? Seriously mate, I know you didn’t sleep last night. And you’re far more irritable then usual.”
Draco sighed. “It’s Y/N. I want her back but she seems to want nothing to do with me.”
“Didn’t you guys just go to Hogsmeade together a couple weeks back?” Blaise raised a curious eyebrow. Draco nodded.
“But it wasn’t a date, we barely even spoke to each other. It was disastrous.”
“You need to be honest-”
“I have been!” Draco interrupted defensively.
“Let me finish, you git! You need to be honest with her, bring her somewhere private and be honest. Tell her everything Draco, you need to show her that you’re genuinely sorry. That you want her back.” Blaise said simply with a shrug of his shoulders.
Draco pondered the idea for a moment. “You’re right. You’re so bloody right!” Draco’s mood changed drastically. He was now more alert, looking around the court yard for you. You were nowhere to be found, of course.
“Can you do me one, Blaise? Tell Y/N to meet me at our old spot at midnight.” Draco looked at his friend with a pleading expression.
“I despise getting wrapped up in your shit, Malfoy. But I’ll do my best.” Draco smiled before waving goodbye to his friend.
“Thank you! I’ve got to run to charms or Flitwick will have my head on a platter.” Draco hurried off, speed walking and shoving aside the people that walked too slow for his liking. Making it just in time, Draco took a seat next to some Hufflepuff girl. She looked nervously over at him, he met her eyes.
“Hello, do you have a staring problem sweetheart?” Draco said smoothly. The girl shook her head quickly, mumbling an apology and turning her attention to the front of the classroom. Flitwick began the lecture, causing Draco to yawn softly. Merlin he felt drained.
Draco sat nervously on the windowsill on the astronomy tower. Draco had decided during Charms that this was gonna be his final attempt at getting you back. After tonight, if you didn’t want him then fine, so be it. Draco tried his best to believe that this was going to work, but he knew with his luck it most likely wouldn’t The door of the astronomy tower creaked up, making Draco turn.
“Blaise?” You said questioningly as you stepped inside, shutting the door softly. The moonlight casted it’s presence on you, making Draco’s heart thump harder than before.
“No, It’s me.” Draco spoke smoothly, trying his best to sound sure of himself.
“Why did you have me meet you here?” You asked suspiciously.
“I have something to tell you. And this will be the last time I tell you this.” Draco took a deep breath as he stood to his feet. His damn palms were sweating again. Draco wiped his hands on his pants before clearing his throat and speaking. “Look, Y/N. I fucked up. Big time. Hurting you was the worst mistake of my life, and trust me as you know I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life. I take it all back, all those vile things I said to you in this very room so many months ago. None of it was true, not then and not now. You’re everything to me. Everything. I only said those things so you could hate me, I wanted you to stay far away from me as possible. I didn’t want you to get caught up with a death eater. I wanted to protect you. I love you, Y/N. All I’m asking is for one more chance, one more chance to have you be mine once more. Please.” Draco swallowed the growing saliva in his mouth. “If you don’t want me back, fine. I’ll leave you alone forever. I’ll never bother you again. I promise, you have my word. Draco watched as you raked through your brain, trying to put your words together.
After a long, painful moment of silence, you finally spoke. “How do I even know you’re serious? you played with my emotions Draco, you had such terrible mood swings and I tried so hard to be patient, I’m still patient dammit. It just hurts when you’re warm and loving one day and completely distant and cold the next.” He watched you spoke, a frown cracking through his “unfazed” façade.
Draco straightened his face. “Okay. I understand that and um-erm-I..” Draco scratched the back of his neck nervously. “I’m sorry, I’m trying to work on controlling my emotions, my outbursts. I love you Y/N. I love you with the type of love that I cant describe. you consume me, utterly consume me. every time I'm with you it’s like you’ve completely engulfed me. I love you okay? I want to be a better person for you, eventually for myself too hopefully. I want to be the person you want around, the person who show your ugliest side to, the person you can come to whenever you’re breaking.” Draco felt his cheeks begin to burn as tears filled the boys eyes. Letting out a shaky breath, Draco continued. “I-I never had someone who truly loved me, my dad has always been distant and foul towards me. Anytime I showed any signs of weakness, punishment. Because purebloods and wealthy people have to be strong and unyielding. my mother simply based her parenting on whatever my father wanted and whatever made my family look the best. you however,” Draco stood closer to you now, gripping your hands in his. He rubbed soft circles into your skin as he continued. “You Y/N, You’ve shown me what was love is, what it’s meant to be. You’re so understanding. Everytime I think I went too far and I’ve lost you, you understand and you forgive me. You never have held me to my past, my family’s decisions. You only hold me to my word, and myself alone. That is why I love you. Why I’m so bloody in love with you, right now! At this very moment I would do anything to call you mine again, to have you by my side.” Draco searched your face as you looked at him with tears in your eyes.
Then, you did what he’s missed the most. You kissed him. It was a gentle kiss, no rushed movements, no searching hands. Only two people expressing all the words they couldn’t say with one kiss. Draco pulled away, trying to suppress the smile playing on his lips. “Does this mean you’re mine again?” You nodded shyly, causing Draco’s heart to spike. “Merlin!” He yelled at the top his lungs, causing you to laugh. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into the tightest hug he could muster.
“Crushing. Me.” You wheezed out with a repressed giggle.
“I’m sorry my love!” He exclaimed. “I promise you won’t regret your decision. I will spend every moment to make up for our lost time, I’ll always be so sorry about this whole thing. For everything I said.”
You looked up at the him with eyes that would bring any man to his knees. “Dray.” You said softly, lips barely moving. Draco could hear his heart in his ears as he swallowed. “I forgive you, we’ve got this okay? And I’m sorry for slapping you, I assume we both have things to work on.”
Draco gave a toothy grin. “You’re my favorite.”
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A/N I tried to tie one piece of the taylor swift’s song to this:) i hope you enjoyed part two! Tbh I feel a little iffy about this one, but I appreciate everyone who asked me to do a part two and showed support and love! much love babes
