Tumblerone

[ampervadasz]

[mleprae]

can u guys rb this n add how you crack your eggs in the tags? i thought cracking them in the sinks’s edge is universal until i saw my friend cracking an egg on the counter instead and it was so pervese and diabolical

[princessesfanarts]

Different Love Stories by Yingzong X

[miyuliart]

How I use 3d models from ACON3D. I highly recommend using their resources for your projects. Use my referral code “V2NMPFC2” to get 2 discount coupons for a total of $8. Sign up with my code.

[vai-ish]

[crtastrophic]

[justagaygoosehoard]

this post is utterly incomprehensible to me

[vai-ish]

hey this same post cost an arm and a leg to make

[mf-dooom]

[yetanothergreyjedi]

that is the face of a man worried he will be next

[ashtraythief]

Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.

[luulapants]

Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.

[whetstonefires]

crane husband.....

[roach-works]

this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.

[alex51324]

(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:

Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s.  The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.  

As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.  

It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.  

Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.  

The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.

They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.   

Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.  

Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.  

Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.  (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)  

It worked!  

Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.  

However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.  (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)

Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird.  White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive.  (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)  

[thesylverlining]

Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this

she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)

His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)

the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)

"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")

chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"

[anais-ninja-bitch]

just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.

well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.

[largishcat]

[eshlimoriarty]

[lazorsandparadox]

Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes

[queersatanic]

the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was

[ceevee5]

[quasi-normalcy]

I fear a fresh wave of the plague

[sarcasmgal-blog]

Update from twitter

[scatter-the-stars]

🤣🤣🤣

[g-a-y-g-o-y-l-e]

literally nothing about the original tweet is grammatically incorrect; some people are just racist

[juu-riin]

third wheel doodles

[stinkybrowndogs]

Perhaps a dog tarot deck?

[stinkybrowndogs]

Moving along!

[stinkybrowndogs]

The next three!

[stinkybrowndogs]

Woof woof more than halfway done with the major arcana

[stinkybrowndogs]

A few more!

[kesteral]

“why are u mad at me for liking rings of power its just a show >:(((” is such a stone cold take it makes me so mad. maybe!! maybe im mad because i dont want the moving, worldchanging stories of tolkien, stories about the power of brotherhood versus capitalist greed, stories about loving things that are small and overlooked above gold and riches and material possessions, to be manipulated by a billion dollar megacorp!! maybe im mad because the deep, complex and moving characters of tolkien are becoming marvel-ized tokens in a megacorps collection of “shit we bought and take credit for now”! maybe im mad because tolkien and peter jackson went above and beyond with their creations while amazon pukes up some bullshit game of thrones knockoff to make a quick buck! maybe we should be critical of media! maybe its not a bad thing to understand the part we play in capitalism! maybe we should be loud and angry when corporations try to shove shallow moneygrubbing bullshit down our throat! sorry if im hurting your feelings by reminding you that amazon is an evil, evil megacorp that does not care about tolkiens literature, but its true. watch the fucking show if you want, but don’t stomp your feet because the rest of us don’t want to.

this also goes double for anyone saying “yeah i watch the show on amazon but that doesnt mean i support amazon-” YES YOU DO PIRACY HAS LITERALLY NEVER BEEN EASIER GROW A SPINE DOWNLOAD AD BLOCKER AND STOP SUPPORTING BEZOS

[ampervadasz]

[moonnlesbian]

where’s the interview w/ andy samberg where the interviewer asks about why there’s no jokes made around holt being gay and andy’s face twitches like “don’t do it.” and the interviewer goes on like “we live in such a weird PC culture though!” and andy laughs so uncomfortably i need it for science 

[moonnlesbian]

[corbinite]

The ironic thing is, there are plenty of jokes which involve him being gay. But it just doesn’t register as humor to those people if it’s not making fun of him for it, or using his sexuality as the actual punchline. A show actually respects its characters (for the most part) while still managing to provide top-notch humor and all a lot of people have to say is complaining about “pc culture”

[polarbarbarian-deactivated20200]

here’s a link to the video if anyone’s interested

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idQsYQfkR5o

[sophrosynic]

i don’t understand how anyone who’s watched the episodes where ray holt pretends to be a hetero would ever believe that there are “no jokes about him being gay.”

because that’s not the problem. the problem is that the jokes about him being gay are specifically for an lgbtq audience. they’re jokes that heteros don’t understand because for once, we’re not the punchline like we usually are. we’re not being made fun of in a way that tears us down. they’re jokes about the absurdity of our existence. of having to fake being straight, even though a lot of us are actually really bad at it, and having straight people actually believe you. 

the other really great example is that one joke ray holt makes in the first season, about how the hardest thing about being a gay black police officer in the nypd is the discrimination. that joke was funny for so many reasons, and yet, not a single straight person really got it when i watched it with them. it feels like there are no jokes because the jokes aren’t intended for straight/homophobic people, where the punchline isn’t all about how they relate to us. it’s about how we relate to them for once, and that’s the greatest thing.

[captainlordauditor]

other show’s lgbt jokes are “loltranswomen” or “lol flamboyant gay men”

brooklyn nine nine’s lgbt jokes are “we got married as quickly as we could bc we were worried they’d repeal it” and then footage of Kevin and Raymond not letting the officient finish his sentence before they say “I do”