Some of the attitudes towards spirits right now seem to be a bit…. degrading, and I’d like to tackle that.
For the life of me I could not find it, but there’s a post somewhere on this godforsaken website pointing out that trans boys (I believe it focused on trans boys) are treated as uwu precious pretty marshmallows uwu by some people on tumblr, and not only is said attitude preteen but it’s uncomfortable. We’re people, not fictional characters, and not everyone wants to be degraded into an uwu pretty boy aesthetic that must be protected.
While the situations are different, the spirit companion community is uncomfortably reminiscent of that issue.
The act itself of matching bound spirits is not necessarily degrading when consent is present and everyone is properly informed, that is not the point of this post. But the attitude towards the spirits can easily turn this into a degrading practice. That is clearly seen with those who treat them as collector’s items or pets, and no one wishes to lump themselves into that category.
But on the opposite side of the spectrum? There can still exist issues.
Spirits are people. We all realize that, but real people do not exist to be treated as children. Some of the attitudes I’ve been seeing recently are more appropriate for your OCs than a living being with freedom and independent thought. They aren’t precious little children to giggle over and pat on the head, they aren’t fuzzy pets to take care of, they aren’t something to fit neatly into an aesthetic. Those kind of attitudes are demeaning. They’re demeaning when real people are treated in such a manner, and they’re demeaning to spirits as well.
Just because we are not all ultra formal with our spirits doesn’t mean they lose their dignity. While some may consent to being shown that attitude, you need to have an actual relationship with the spirit before doing so (yes, that would be weird and creepy towards strangers) and actually make sure they are okay with it. The entirety of spirits are most certainly not to be treated as precious children to be protected and you should never assume that a spirit is comfortable with an attitude typically seen as demeaning outside of preteen tumblr. It implies they are too weak to care for themselves.
Not being pets also means that your spirit companions do not need to be taken care of. They are self sufficient, they lived without you and will continue to take care of themselves. If they are too young to take full care of themselves or to know how to do so, that is an issue. If they are in a situation, such as former abuse, which means they may need help to do so, you seriously need to have prior spirit working experience to be helping that spirit and are going to be spending a large amount of time and energy to prepare and live with them. Otherwise, the relationship strikes me more as a toy to give you brownie points as a kind person and the spirit is not in the optimal situation.
Whether or not they require assistance, treating people as if they can’t take care of themselves is demeaning. It makes the majority of adults uncomfortable to be treated in such a manner, and these boundaries do not fade simply because the being is nonphysical. You are implying that they cannot take care of themselves - like a pet.
Spirits should not be entirely reliant on their companion. In physical relationships this is easily recognized as a power imbalance and is dangerous no matter the type of relationship.
Your spirit friends do not need you. They have a home to live in without you, they are capable of caring for themselves, and they should not be in a position where they must rely on you for survival. There should be no issues with them leaving and living without you, otherwise they are not free and that is not a balanced relationship.
Spirits matched in shops should not be of these positions. That is a red flag if they are treated with the independence of a pet. If a spirit cannot possibly wait any longer for interest in them…. They are not ready and should not be offered. If they will have difficulty caring for themselves or a decreased quality of life if separation occurs, they should not be offered. If they are being treated more like fictional characters than people, I must heavily question the shop.
I realize that this coddling attitude is a common joke in tumblr, but it has grown to the point where some of you are completely serious with it. Not everyone is treating it like a joke and recognizing that the spirits are real people. Newbs are coming in and seeing that this attitude is the normal interaction they should be having, because almost everything I see coming out of this tag involves spirits being treated as helpless. Yes, that includes shop blogs.
Y’all talk big about spirits not being pets, now put your actions where your mouth is. Hell, your mouth ain’t even there.
jacobvanloon
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