I'm very easy to entertain @misfit2008 - Tumblr Blog

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no-star-no-war

yeah them

arcnoise

dad bod spiderman can’t drive

arcnoise

well MAYBE he can, but he’s a miserable parallel parker

fieldbears

god fucking damn it

tanoraqui

that theory that the Arkenstone is a Silmaril…it’s doubly implausible, but imagine if nobody knew. If the dwarves were guarded enough of their greatest treasure that…you wouldn’t even need to hide it from that many people, honestly. Mostly a few elves, and all wizards.

and then Bilbo sidles up to Gandalf like, “Thorin and all are holed up in the Mountain, but I think they’re being nuts, so I…kind of stole the Arkenstone, I think.” And (it’s been thousands of years since the light of the trees was doused save for the precious brilliance locked away in Feanor’s gems, since oaths and blood and war that raged until the skies cracked and the earth shattered, and the little people of the Shire have no memory of it at all) he pulls out a fucking Silmaril.

tanoraqui

Gandalf: *spittake*

Gandalf: *hurriedly glances at Thranduil. the king of Mirkwood’s eyes shine with curiosity and greed, but not recognition, nor the terrible lust that overtook Feanor and his sons. right, right, he was never in Thingol’s court while the jewel that Luthien and Beren took was there. we’re good. we’re good for now*

Gandalf: That’s, uh, nice, Bilbo. Put it away, would you?

tanoraqui

Gandalf, telepathically(?): EMERGENCY RINGBEARERS ONLY CONFAB NOW

Gandalf: [mental image of a goddam Silmaril in hobbit hands, labelled “thisfuckingrockagain.jpg”]

Galadriel, who watched 95% of her family slaughter everyone within 100 miles for several thousand years over these things, including each other and themselves: no.

Elrond, who was very nearly one of those people slaughtered, and did watch most of his town be killed before he and his twin were kidnapped for a while: Absolutely Fucking Not.

Gandalf: Apparently fucking yes. The legendary Arkenstone-

Galadriel: You’ve got to be kidding me.

Elrond: Thorin Oakenshield has a Silmaril right now?

Gandalf: No, no.

Gandalf: Bilbo stole it.

Elrond: *wordless sputtering*

Gandalf: @Galadriel [information packet: BilboBagginsoftheShire.pdf]

Galadriel: Oh yes, Belladonna’s boy, you were telling me about him last winter.

Galadriel: Btw, orc+warg army probably coming your way. Spotted it in the mirror last night. Thank goodness we dealt with Dol Goldur at least, huh?

Elrond: No fucking shit.

tanoraqui

Gandalf @Gwaihir Windlord: hey, sorry to bother you again, I know it’s nearly mating season. but we have a situation again

Gandalf: [thisfuckingrockagain.jpg]

Gandalf: [oncomingorcwargarmy.jpg]

Gandalf: [flashbacktobadasseaglesinwarofwrathhinthint.mov]

avelera

I mean, given that Tolkien retconned “The Hobbit” so Bilbo’s little invisibility ring became an ancient piece of jewelry that controls minds and drives the mighty mad, one can at least understand why it seems plausible that the other shiny white gem that destroys empires and makes the mighty go mad with greed could be linked from his kid’s book to his gigantic early mythology in retrospect??

crazy-pages

You know this actually explains a lot about why Gandalf didn’t immediately raise the alarm about Bilbo’s ring out of an abundance of caution. I mean, what are the odds, what are the fucking odds, that this one little hobbit stole both a Silmaril and the Ring of Power? Like, you are Gandalf the Grey and you have already dealt with the heart attack to end all heart attacks because this little innocent fool stole a world war inspiring artifact once. You still get flashbacks every time Bilbo offers to show you something and have to employ all of your angel’s serenity and thousands of years of learned composure not start giBbERinG “ pleaseletitnotbeanotherartifactpleaseletitnotbeanotherartifact”. And then. AND THEN! One day he’s like, “hey Gandalf let me show you this neat ring I found back on our journey”. And on the inside a tiny part of you is screaming “nottheoneringnottheoneringnottheonering” while a more rational part of your brain assures you it could not possibly be the one- “It’s this plain gold ring that’s very precious to me and turns me invisible!”

AND THEN YOU FUCK OFF AND SEARCH THROUGH EVERY POSSIBLE TOME YOU CAN TO PROVE IT CAN’T REALLY BE THE RING OF POWER, SAURON’S RING OF POWER, THAT RING, THE ONE RING, LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE TOME, BEFORE FINALLY FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THIS SHIT IS REALLY HAPPENING AGAIN

countesskittymeow

@shewhodoesnotexist what says you? :P

shewhodoesnotexist

I’ve never been a proponent of this theory, but I gotta admit the idea of Bilbo finding two world war inspiring artifacts is alluring ;D

Next you’ll be telling me Sting is Gurthang

abrownpanther

Sting may or may not be Angrist, the knife that Beren used to get the Silmarill off of Morgoth’s crown

xueyangapologist

honestly when aliens arrive we should start having sex with them as soon as possible. so when they decide to take over a lot of them already have emotional connections/physical offspring and will form a sizeable resistance. not me, i don’t want to, but i know a lot of you would be into that, and i’m telling you it’s okay, you’re actually the last hope for our species.

chipper671740-deactivated202006

thank you op this means a lot

twerklina

kanjabeto-deactivated20180421

breakfastburritosattiffanys

I HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING

RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOOOOOOOOO

COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER

FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

phils-mum-and-llama-placentas

IT’S STARTED

itsfantasticallyhomoerotic

IT’S BEEN NOVEMBER JUST FOR FEW HOURS YOU ANIMALS

peri-space-dorito

IM SAVING THIS IN MY FUCKKING QUEUE AND EVERY FUCKING NOVEMBER AT 12:00 AM IM FUCKING POSTING THIS

tortagnamgnam

This is the lucky clover cat. reblog this in 30 seconds & he will bring u good luck and fortune.

unclebabie

THIS ONE!!! THIS IS THE ONE THAT WORKS!!!!!

I reblogged him the day i started treatment and 1. GOT TO MY APPOINTMENT ON TIME 2. FOUND A FREE PARKING TICKET SOMEONE LEFT IN THE METER FOR ME AND 3. GOT FREE STARBUCKS AFTER MY APPOINTMENT!!!!!

cutedemonbabe

I’m convinced bc I reblogged this on Friday, got hired at a job I had a million interviews for, went on a first date that went well, and got kissed a billion times so like hell ya to the luck cat

ultimatebottom69

I just want to eat …

thatdisasterauthor

Fuck it. I could use some luck right now.

noping-out-deactivated20241117

It would be a real shame if instead of being covered by paint, which can be removed, bronze statues of racists were to come into contact with saltwater or tomatoes and be destroyed by irreversible bronze disease.

anyway

The Triwizard Tournament x The Great British Bake Off

misfit2008

memehumor

Chess is so much less serious if you imagine it all as a real thing

whitepeopletwitter

misfit2008

varusteleka

sitting on and touching warm rocks…………. now thats the good stuff…….

diamondguls

Are you….. A reptile ?

nyanbinyuri

what are you a cop? mind your business

deeobee

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

listen idk I’m thinking about how before new moon came out it was like….every single news story was debating on whether or not they should keep taylor lautner as Jacob, because he wasn’t buff enough, and the film studio and the general public essentially pressured him into doing insane diets and workout routines just so he can keep a role he already won, just because no one would even entertain the character looking slightly different than described, and it was treated as this great thing, like damn, he really pulled it off!!! he’s hot now!!! he can keep the part!!! and that’s just so fucked up like. he was fucking 15 years old??? they spray painted abs onto Robert Pattinson in the same film. Taylor Lautner was LITERALLY A FIFTEEN YEAR OLD and practically the entire world slammed him for not having an unreal body, and then once he obtained one grown ass women were drooling over him like a piece of meat for the rest of his teenage years. what the fuck.

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

I’m still on this! Imagine you’re still going thru puberty and the world is so obsessed with your body that you become a sex symbol for MOTHERS. first all the focus on whether or not he could get the body and then constant focus on what it looks like for the next 4 or 5 years like! That’s so fucked up he didn’t NEED an 8-pack THEY SPRAY PAINTED ABS ON ROB IN THE SAME MOVIE

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

he did interviews on all his crazy work out routines and said he had to carry around beef patties and other high protein foods wherever he went so he was just eating constantly THATS NOT ALRIGHT and every single magazine article or ET news segment was covering this the whole time. Fans were vocally debating whether he deserved to keep the role that HE ALREADY EARNED. This was such a big deal. What the fuck.

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name

so the highest paid teenager was also the second sexist man of the year, huh

secretly-a-cat-pls-dont-tell

spongehole

*Racialized pedophilia

redlanternavengerelf42

I am not a Twilight fan, nor am I a fan of Taylor Lautner, but damn this is wrong to do to anyone and I will fight anyone who tries to defend doing this to a teenager.