the graveyard

An Actual Ghost

[eleventhemage]

when u adopt one weird girl from the woods but that means adopting all of her weird-ass nerd friends

[queenbruv]

when u adopt one goofy boy with curly hair but that means adopting all of his weird-ass nerd friends

[gentleflutterby-deactivated2022]

when ur son goes missing and u have to adopt everyone, including the chief of police

[thechronicleofshe]

How To Get A Job Fast As Hell

 @owenabbott​ 

Apply to a  job, wait (1) day, then call.  Give them your first and last name. Tell them you submitted an application and that you’re very motivated to find [Enter field name] work. Let the conversation lead you wherever it takes. Be very polite. Say” thank you for your time, I’ll be looking forward to hearing back from you.” Rinse, repeat. This is to force them to be looking out for your application. 

 When you get to the interview, shake their hand firmly,  tell them your first and last name.  

Describe your experiences  as “ two years transcription and data entry” if you have a desk job interview and “ [however many years]  costumer service, retail and stock” for your retail jobs.  

Don’t use job “ buzz words” I stg they hear them all day. Say  things like, “ I’m detail oriented and am very good at taking instruction.”  “ I would like to work for a company with integrity and I feel that [ company name] would be a good fit”

When they ask you if you have “reliable transportation” say  YES. don’t tell them what kind of transportation, just say yes. (if you don’t do this, you wont get the job , I’m telling you right now). 

Research the company. Know what they do, why they do it, how OLD the company is. WHERE it was founded, and what kind of position you’re intending to apply for.

When they ask you “ give us a situation where you had to blah blah blah” Make one the fuck up. Make yourself sound good as hell, and like you put your company’s needs slightly above the customer’s needs, but make the customer happy. 

If they ask you about being outgoing, Say you “like to focus on your work so you can concentrate on doing things right” (which buys you out of having to act friendly all the time)

Questions for after the interview:

1.  Does this position offer upward mobility?

2. Do you enjoy working for the company? (if you’re not interviewing for a temp agency who will send you anywhere)

 Then, shake their hand,  Ask them to repeat their name (REMEMBER THIS) say thank you for your time, wish them a nice day and leave. write their name down outside if you have to, just remember the fuck out of it. 

AFTER your interview, send a card directed to the name of the person who interviewed you (I’ll give you them) that says “Thank you for the interview, I appreciate the opportunity. have a great day” This shows  that you have an understanding of professionalism, and will have them thinking of you kindly (or at least remembering you) when they’re shuffling through the choices. 

DO NOT tell them you just moved to the city over the phone.  In person, tell them you just moved to the city. Make it sound like the only reason you need a job is because you moved. Not because you’re desperate. 

__________

 The titles of each section are key words you can use to search for jobs on Snagajob.com  and Simplyhired.

Data Entry:

http://citystaffing.com/job/data-entry-specialistsmailroom-clerk/?utm_source=Indeed&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=Indeed

https://www.roberthalf.com/officeteam/job-search/chicago-il/data-entry-clerks-needed/43517752?codes=IND

http://www.simplyhired.com/job/data-entry-specialists-job/chicago-transit-authority/jepfivkhjk?cid=udsowkxtausyzitcfeecaeuzoxkltmbl

https://jobs-theprivatebank.icims.com/jobs/3435/temporary—data-entry/job?mode=job&iis=SimplyHired&iisn=SimplyHired&utm_source=simplyhired&utm_medium=jobclick&mobile=false&width=792&height=500&bga=true&needsRedirect=false&jan1offset=-360&jun1offset=-300

 Front Desk:

http://localjobs.joblur.com/jobapplication2/?jobid=99957&subaffid=300006&JobType=Food%20/%20Bev%20/%20Hosp&ix=1&c1=99957

https://jobs.ajg.com/job/-/-/109/1256110?apstr=%26src%3DJB-10280

https://pepper.hiretouch.com/job-search/job-details?jobID=32066&job=receptionist

http://accesscommunityhealth.hodesiq.com/jobs/default.aspx?JobID=5203566 (this one is close to the place you rented.)

http://ihg.taleo.net/careersection/all/jobdetail.ftl?job=R113601&lang=en&media_id=24863&src=Indeed&src=JB-10920

https://covalentcareers.com/employer/listing/86450f8517588197c9b04f5068ed4300/detail/?apply=1&ref=indeed&v=30&utm_source=indeed&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=indeed_optical

http://www.careerbuilder.com/jobseeker/jobs/jobdetails.aspx?APath=2.21.0.0.0&job_did=JHN0KY6823WBWZX21VM&showNewJDP=yes&IPath=JRKV0F

http://www.simplyhired.com/job/front-desk-receptionist-customer-service-sales-job/rosin-optical-co-inc/qaeoquzgdi?cid=ivdnhijkmxchdanahwfoupazcwisfnxt

http://www.simplyhired.com/job/receptionist-front-desk-job/all-us-jobs/fonj7wmldf?cid=trhyvmfcsgjltxkjxkemyinsjveewfjp

Other jobs you don’t need a degree for that aren’t retail:

Dental hygenist ( yeah, seriously, who knew!) They also make about 40,000 a year)

Stenographer-Court Reporter

Surveyer ( you need a certificate for this, but its something you can get while working a temporary job and doing this on the side. Also, they make like $55,000 a year sooooooo) https://sjobs.brassring.com/TGWEbHost/jobdetails.aspx?jobId=1406428&PartnerId=16023&SiteId=5118&codes=IND

Real Estate Broker

Purchasing agents, except wholesale, retail, and farm products ( basically you arrange to buy large things) they make like 60K

Claims adjuster 

Loan Officer

Subway driver (trains) they make like 60K,

Duct Cleaner: http://jobview.monster.com/Duct-Cleaners-950-00-Weekly-Entry-Level-Flexible-Hours-Call-to-Apply-Job-Chicago-IL-US-161970321.aspx?intcid=re

[theherunoirnetwork]

I knew this but I’m reblogging cause someone might not know

[rootbeergoddess-deactivated2017]

I’m saving this.

[roboticonography]

A note from a former interviewer:

The “give us a situation where you blah blah” questions are what’s called behavioural interview questions. They are looking to assess a personality trait rather than a skill level. Usually the traits they are looking for are listed right in the job posting: time management, teamwork, customer service, etc.

Before the interview, Google “behavioural interview questions.” You will find ones that apply for the traits the employer is seeking, and you will also find information about how employers score these questions.

In the interview, try to figure out which trait(s) the question is trying to find, and tailor your answer accordingly. A customer service answer isn’t always the best choice if they are looking for your leadership ability.

Answer these questions using the STAR method:

Situation - background to the story you’re about to tell

Task - what the problem/challenge/goal was

Action - what you did and how it went down

Result - how your action solved the problem/challenge or achieved your goal, and improved things for you and others going forward.

(Bonus: show some forward thinking. How did you act to keep the problem from happening again?)

And try not to lie if you can help it. If your example isn’t all it could be, talk about what you would do differently, knowing what you know now.

[bitchesgetriches]

The only thing I disagree with in this advice is the repeated daily calling. I find that shit annoying as hell, and I have literally shuffled people to the bottom of the pile for calling and interrupting my work day. Maybe not all employers (or editors seeking new book authors, in my case) are like me, but I really hate being bothered repeatedly by phone and I will definitely count it against you in the hiring process.

But hot damn, everything else is objectively, universally good advice!

[porterr-robinson]

[mens-rights-activia]

[silvnbacon]

Cinemafuckingtography right there

[theoreocat]

[goddess-scarlette]

i needed the full songs worth of this not 15 seconds

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Have an unproblematic cute. Definitely turn the song on.

[polyamorous-tangles]

Because everyday needs to begin with a smile

[theoreocat]

And again this shows up at the top of my activity feed 🔥

[monfevre-deactivated20180114]

the thrashy thrashy by the fridge gets cuter each time

[fenixchick]

NEED A KITTEH

[hellyeahrihannafenty]

Tom Holland does Rihanna’s “Umbrella” on Lip Sync Battle

[dr0wnedperfectionist]

I’m literally zendaya reacting like he didn’t have to go that hard and yet..

[twocubes]

she knocked that smug look off my face but luckily i was wearing a second, smaller smug look underneath

[theheartbrokenlibertarian]

why is that so fuckin funny

[itchycoil]

I have 2 “head” “cannons” …. They’re called my nostrils

[unfollowfriday]

white boys be like “im gonna make you come so hard” and ur like, what to my senses

[thechronicleofshe]

every time i see this i’m thrown into hysterics because for some reason i NEVER anticipate the ending of this sentence

[careens]

he was a tater tot, she said see ya later thot

[careens]

she ran a hater blog, he said he was pepe frog

[schmergo]

“I Like Hanging Out With Guys Because There’s Less Drama.”

Translation: whenever I spend time with my female friends, we always end up doing an unabridged reading of Hamlet, and I’m salty because they always make me play Polonius.

[thisistheglamorous-deactivated2]

[gravityfalse]

when you and your friend see someone you hate

[balaiduciel]

Tall, androgynous and armed — she held a state gun permit — Ms. DeLarverie roamed lower Seventh and Eighth Avenues and points between into her 80s, patrolling the sidewalks and checking in at lesbian bars. She was on the lookout for what she called “ugliness”: any form of intolerance, bullying or abuse of her “baby girls.” … “She literally walked the streets of downtown Manhattan like a gay superhero. … She was not to be messed with by any stretch of the imagination.”

From the obituary of Storme DeLarverie, a native New Orleanian who threw the first punch at Stonewall. (via beignetsatwhistlestop)

[forursmiles]

so powerful

[mens-rights-activia]

I wrote a song about my college experience 🌶🌶🌶👌👌👌🔥🔥🔥

[mxhammad]